I’m not talking sharing either.
Or, we need soom affirmative action for the boys.
From Time/CNN
We are talking single women without kids. You know the ones that get free drinks and dinners and jewellry and doors held open for them.
This is simply quite scary and I’m not sure why, but it just can’t be a good thing.
I’m in my 60s, can you tell ?
Women won’t feel obligated to have sex with a guy that they bought a meal for. This is a terrible idea.
When I buy dinner for a woman I don’t do so because I want to create an obligation to sleep with me on her part. I do it because society mandates it. Most of the females I date make more than I do. Viva La Revolución!
From the article:
“Here’s the slightly deflating caveat: this reverse gender gap, as it’s known, applies only to unmarried, childless women under 30 who live in cities. The rest of working women — even those of the same age, but who are married or don’t live in a major metropolitan area — are still on the less scenic side of the wage divide.”
Buying dinner is about showing you want to be a provider. Ie its not only about right now, its about the future with having kids when their own wages are going to drop dramatically.
Otara
Was it scary when men were outearning women? If not, why is this different? You’re afraid of empowered women?
I assume you are referring to the OP. I just think if you shell out for a lobster, she ought to put out later. Not based on any principle, it’s just better for me that way.
Except, if you accept the tenets of feminism, one should not be expected to pay for dinner simply because one is male and the counterpart is female; nor should the male necessarily be the primary provider.
I personally will always offer to pay for dinner, whether the other person is a potential romantic interest or just platonic friend–and especially if that person would have difficulty affording it because of their financial situation. However, if I’m having dinner with a woman I know will be able to afford paying for it–and she doesn’t–I probably won’t be going out with her again. It simply reflects poorly on her character.
So wait, you always offer to pay for dinner, but if you think the person can afford paying for it on their own but they accept your offer anyways, you think it reflects poorly on them? Isn’t that like pretending to be generous to set up some really weird trap for people you go out with? Seems kinda perverse.
I usually accept whenever someone offers to pay for something and then just make an effort to pay for both of us for the next meal or movie or whatever. Partially just because it seems kinda impolite to turn down someones offer to pay, and partially because I always hate the weird “I’ll pay for it…no I want to pay…no I got it” conversation that enuses when both parties try and get the check.
“Except, if you accept the tenets of feminism, one should not be expected to pay for dinner simply because one is male and the counterpart is female; nor should the male necessarily be the primary provider.”
I think feminism might be a bit less monolithic than you’re claiming.
Unfortunately men by and large still are, or you wouldnt be seeing that huge difference in incomes once children turn up. If women thought going dutch would fix that issue Im sure you’d see them do it in a heartbeat, but it wont.
Otara
What do you mean by “except”? I agree entirely with what you said. I wish everyone went Dutch on dates.
If I asked her out, I’m gonna pay.
Once we’re in an established relationship, and it’s clear she also wants to spend time with me, I appreciate if she tries to split costs, i.e. I buy dinner, she buys lunch; I pay for the movie, she gets the popcorn; that kind of thing.
A woman who isn’t willing to spend some of her money to cover the expenses we incur during our time together is a gold digger.
My experience has been that feminism prevails when it benefits the woman (pay rates, job opportunites, etc.), and that ‘sexist’ practices (paying for meals, opening doors, etc.) prevail when it benefits the woman.
It’s kind of like that toilet seat thing.
This is not really turning into a debate.
Off to IMHO.
My experience is quite different. When I had dated women making more than I did, they tended to pick up the tab if they were the ones who sought the date and let me pick up the tab if I asked.
I never really encountered a woman who was feminist when that was in her favor and anti-feminist when that was in her favor. (Maybe you just wore a sign saying “Exploit me”? 
)
As to toilet seats: the LID needs to stay down so that the dog doesn’t drink from the bowl and nothing on a shelf above it (or a clumsy cat) can fall in.
It is ?! Well damn, I don’t want to provide for nobody, nobody told me nothing about providing ! I just wanted to be nice ! Do I gots to provide when I buy the guys another round, too ?!
Seriously, though, I think the modern dating scene goes along the lines drawn by **Simplicio **& **Bo **: boy pays on the first date out of tradition, then girl pays the next, and so forth. That or a tacit agreement to go Dutch from then on. Least that’s how it goes for me as well.
I guess you’re just out of touch, OP :). As an aside, I kind of doubt men ever bought single women drinks out of some feminist (or patriarchal) social onus :p.
I am 46 years old and have had exactly six dates in two years. Only once was the meal purchased by the guy. In one case (a symphony concert), I paid for the evening and the guy didn’t even bother to buy a drink.
At least in the town I live in (San Francisco) going dutch is the norm.
Huh. And here I’ve just been going by “whoever does the asking does the paying”. If I ask a man out, I’m certainly not expecting him to pay. If a man asks me out, I’m prepared to pay, but I really shouldn’t have to, since it was his invitation and all.
I don’t especially care for going dutch. We’re all grownup professional people here, either of us should be able to afford an entire date. No reason for more than one of us to look at the check.
In an actual relationship, of course expenses are shared, equally if that’s feasible, proportionate to income if equally is NOT feasible. Every couple works that out for themselves, which is as it should be.
And your experience is, as ever, utterly alien to those of us who have gone out into the world and moved amongst the people since 1958 or so.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I wanna spread the news,
that if it feels this good gettin’ used,
you just keep on usin’ me
until you use me up.” 
Maybe you were just lucky? Common sense to me says that given human nature there must be quite a few women like that out there.
Your experience could be considered incomplete then; somewhere around here is a rather indignant thread from the last year or two containing a large number of posts from women who do not want doors opened for them.
And I could give less than a damn about the toilet seat, personally. It takes, what, 1.5 seconds to put it down? If I owned a dog who considered it a convenient drinking fountain I might care.