In yet another twisted way my fear of everything somehow results in my appearing to be brave, I find problems, confirm that they exist, gauge various peoples’ level of pissed offedness, and then, because I think I wouldn’t deserve to be employed if I let these problems continue, I talk to someone. I generally write up an outline of what the problems are, why they exist, some ways they can confirm the problems exist, and a few suggestions. Unfortunately, my suggestions typically involve the company spending money, establishing known roles and responsibilities and, most seditiously, improving communications. Then I sit down with one or more of them and spend an hour or two going through the first two or three issues I think are most critical, leaving them the additional several pages of other issues and ideas. (Note: at one point in my career, this caused me to be encouraged to transfer to a different divison, where I worked for about five years until the person I’d talked to moved on to ruin his next job).
This past week it was the recently-deposed manager of my group of programs, along with his successor and my CAM. (Yes, the mighty groo has his own Cost Account Manager). Forget about the four major crises between last week and January – I laid out my case for why the deliveries we have for summer 2011 and fall are already at great risk. For 2010, well, we’re not making our deadlines for many, many reasons, and I’d concluded that the four main deliveries were, when we get desperate, all dependent on a very small set of features which we need to make bulletproof. And yes, you read that right: I went through a list of many unfortunate decisions made by a guy who’d just been shifted laterally out of harm’s way, and my abdomen was cramping up because I was so nervous, but I wanted to let the new manager know what to avoid, and how we might mitigate some of the pain in the future.
Now, with my team, I’ve run out of every other motivation, so now I just get behind closed doors, let them vent their anger at me, tell them who I’ve talked to about their problems and that I’m just as frustrated and skeptical as they are, and then, I tell them the truth: mid-October deadline: fake! it’s a soft deadline. Mid-december deadline: hard deadline for two main capabilities; the rest are soft and after we get the hard ones out of the way, fuck 'em. The October 1 deadline (which we made just before 5:30 today? Started out soft, but a manager got cornered into promising it and we needed to tag our source by COB today or she would be eating shit, and she knows it and has acknowledged that to me. (This is my other way of speaking truth to power – the engineers are supporting the entire enterprise, and they deserve not to get jerked around).
Those are just regarding business planning, but I’ve also made federal cases out of savings bonds drives, payroll deductions for The United Way and the various ways everyone lies to themselves about how predictable software development can be.
After a quarter decade of this, I have to say: I don’t think it’s worth it. As I said, I’m afraid of damn near everything, and this takes its toll. On a few occasions, it’s gained me a few dollars here and there, and pretty much all of the power players will wave me into their offices when “I want to discuss some issues that I’m concerned about™,” but I also find myself alone in meetings, the repeated bearer of bad news amid a sea of young managers struggling to report only the good news. And, for someone reputedly as bright, energetic and useful, my career seems to be on a much shallower trajectory than others in my cohort. In that sense, it’s rather lonely.