Not all of them, but the two in particular that I feel closest to. I’m not sure how to deal with this. I didn’t remind them it was approaching because that seems rude to me. Like I’m demanding their attention. Should I have to? They remembered last year. I did talk to both of them on friday (my birthday), but neither of them mentioned it. This hurts, and I just don’t know how to respond to this. Should I just suck it up because it’s my fault for not reminding them, or tell them about it, or something else? Any advice would be appreciated.
No, you should suck it up because birthdays are for kids. If it’s really that important to you, get a Facebook page and page sure your DoB is visible.
ETA: Oh, and welcome to the board!
I agree. Once you pass the age of, oh, say, 12, birthdays aren’t a big deal that involves your larger circle of friends anymore. Do you remember your friends’ birthdays? All of them? Every year? If you want yours to be remembered, just mention it in the upcoming days, but even then, don’t expect more fuss than a ‘Happy Birthday!’ from your friends.
ETA: Good point – welcome to the board! Also, Happy Birthday! 
That sucks but yeah, you do have to tell people if you want them to know. Most friends will technically know when your birthday is, but lives get busy and it can be something that gets easily lost in the shuffle and forgotten. I don’t buy that birthdays are only for kids and I think it’s okay to be irked when it goes by unnoticed. But you have to do what you can to not let that happen. Second the Facebook suggestion. Or just remind your friends in the days coming up, “oh hey, you know you only have 6 more shopping days?”
I barely remember my own birthday, and I don’t remember anything but the month of my closest friends’ birthdays. Although I remember by parents’ birthdays (due to numerical convenience), I usually forget to call them on the exact day. It’s just not that important to some people, so I wouldn’t worry about it.
I have a Facebook. It didn’t help.
Yes, I do. Even when one of them wasn’t speaking to me, I still sent a card.
I would have been fine with that. It’s the no acknowledgement at all that bugs me.
You could…
…write a sad message on your Facebook wall: Reverend Meade is feeling kinda sad that some of my friends didn’t remember my birthday on Friday 
…write a sarcastic message on your Facebook wall: Reverend Meade says thanks to those few friends who actually remembered my birthday on Friday!
…write a self-pitying message on your Facebook wall: Reverend Meade is wondering who her friends really are.
…realise that some people put more importance on dates/anniversaries/birthdays than others, shrug and move on.
Are these people good friends to you in all other respects?
I only remember friend’s birthdays if I put them in my daytimer. Or if they’re part of a circle of my girlfriends who have “girls night out” birthday dinners for those of us in that group.
I still forget some, though. The only one I remember is Marsha, August 17, because we recently had a girl’s night out. Or 50th birthdays, since most of my friends are in that age range.
Don’t know how old you are, Reverend Meade…most people I know, myself included, have pretty busy lives and as adults birthdays tend to be fairly unimportant events in the grand scheme of things. I’ve forgotten my own birthday until reminded. I wouldn’t take it personally, honest. People forget mine and it doesn’t bother me at all.
I send out notices in advance and have done for years. It is the one day of year that I want people to make a fuss over me. Heck, I even post it when I start the December Whatcha Readin’ thread.
It gets me an email on my birthday, sometimes even a call.
I care deeply about my friends, but unless they remind me in advance, I don’t remember their birthdays. As someone said to me years ago a few days before his birthday, ‘it pays to advertise’. If I want people to acknowledge my birthday, I tell them it’s coming up.
I do remember my immediate family’s birthdays, but I suspect my brother just knows that mine is sometime in June.
My work calendar as most of my friends’ birthdays listed. Outside of my closest friends, they are amazed that I actually ‘remember.’ This tells me that most of them don’t expect it.
Some people care about birthdays. Some don’t. You obviously do.
I like to celebrate, and kind of like the attention for the day. I usually throw myself a happy hour on or around my birthday, and invite people a week or so in advance. It’s an excuse for the extended crowd to get together…and also serves as a way to mention the birthday coming up.
If that’s too close to throwing your own birthday party for your tastes, perhaps you have a close friend who could organize something for you next time.
I’m almost 40, and have 5 or 6 friends who I’ve worked with and spent TONS of time with for over 15 years. There are a few others in the group that I’ve only know for 4 or 5 years, but they are very close with some of the others. All it takes is one or two people in that circle to remember, and they all know. These aren’t the people I have to send the happy hour notice to… that’s more for the extended group.
In related news. I actually DID remember your birthday, Reverend Meade. I was going to send you a PM, but you didn’t exist yet, so I didn’t.
-D/a
I don’t expect my friends to remember my birthday because I don’t remember theirs. I hardly remember the birthday’s of anyone that isn’t in my immediate family, and even then, every year I’m unsure of if Dad’s birthday is on December 20 or 22.
I just plan my own parties or dinners if no one steps up. It’s really not a huge deal to me, but if it is to you, just realize that some people are like me and simply don’t remember. It’s not that you aren’t important, it’s just that the person in question is horrible at writing these things down or setting reminders in their calendars.
You have the right to feel sad.
But I will also say this. If this is the worse thing your friends have ever done to you, then don’t hold it over their heads. Because people forget things. Or they’re lives are so screwed-up that a birthday drops to the bottom of their priority list. Or maybe they aren’t as close to you as you thought they were. Or maybe birthdays aren’t that big of a deal to them. (I’m assuming the last one is the answer).
None of these things mean they don’t like you as a friend. So you can choose to make it a big deal, or you can choose to live and let live.
This is me, too. At the beginning of the year, I mark my friends’ birthdays on my calendar, and send them cards when they roll around–maybe a gift for my very best friends or my sister.
And honestly, I think it creeps some of them out. They feel obliged to respond in kind, which is awkward (even though I don’t expect them to).
Meh, people need reminding. You shouldn’t take it to heart.
I have a very dear friend who has a birthday almost exactly a month after mine. He has only remembered my birthday once. Every other year, when I call him on his birthday to wish him well, he suddenly remembers that mine is in the previous month. It’s kind of a joke between us now. I call him on his birthday to wish him well so that he can wish me a happy birthday too.
The year I turned 30, I went to see him the month after his birthday. He said “let’s go out for dinner”. So we went to a really nice restaurant in his city and there was a surprise birthday party for me there. Almost two full months after my actual birthday. It was fantastic and funny and makes a much better story than if he had remembered on the day.
Don’t sweat it. If it means that much to you, do what I did this year. Invite your friends for dinner on the day. I wanted to do something, but keep it low-key. It was lovely and guilt-free.
There’s only one person whose duty it is to “remember” your birthday and that’s your mom.
If you want your friends to mark your birthday it’s up to you to tell them and also to organize the event – hey it’s my birthday next week; let’s meet at my favorite sushi place after work. That’s how grownups do things.
Eve: I’d be creeped out too and wondering whether you wanted me to make a big deal of your birthday
If you want someone to remember your bday the best thing is to find a way to work into conversation that it’s coming up soon. A lot of people have trouble remembering birthdays and it doesn’t mean anything about how much they care.
I have many close friends but I don’t remember the date of any of their birthdays (I do remember the time of year, and sometimes the month). I’ve never been someone to care all that much about birthdays, and have barely celebrated my own my whole life, although people I’m close to who care more usually make a point about doing something nice for me, which is appreciated.
Thankfully my friends make their own plans to celebrate how they wish, and remind me it’s coming up, so I can buy them a gift, offer to take them out, attend festivities, etc.
So yeah, don’t take it personal, and remind them next time!
But how would you feel if your mom forgot, too? (That happened on my 30th. Hubby had taken the older kids on the annual theme park jaunt, and I stayed home with the baby. Birthday comes and goes with not a single acknowledgement… not from Mom, husband, kids, brother, friends, or anyone else. I felt very sorry for myself that day, and it’s a kind of bitter memory more than a decade later!)
Regarding the OP, I’d suggest not dwelling on it! 
And plan your own celebration next year, if it’s important to you.