One of my friends (my friends’ wife actually, but I’m friendly with her) put up this video on Facebook “in case anyone is interested in learning more about Reconnective Healing.” :rolleyes:
My initial one-word response: “Hogwash.” A debate is yet to ensue but probably inevitable, either continuing on Facebook, in person, or by some other means.
I have had many lively discussions and disagreements on a variety of different topics with this person in the past and on the surface she appears to be a very intelligent, thoughtful, and insightful person but her adherence to these sorts of things, things that I consider to be the worst possible kind of new-age pseudo-scientific hippie quack bullshit makes me seriously question that. Having an open mind is one thing, not being able to instantly recognize a steaming pile of doo-doo is quite another.
Being a friend, am I to attempt to set her straight, an endeavor in which I am certain I will ultimately fail, or should I just keep my mouth shut?
If you feel the need to talk to her about it fine. Just don’t do it on Facebook. That is a great way of getting her defences up, and pissing people off. Keep it private.
See to me replying with only “Hogwash” says to me you are less interested in convincing her than you are in proving you’re a “very intelligent, thoughtful, and insightful person” and she’s not. And yeah, that will pretty much guarantee she digs in deeper.
If your goal is to convince her, then do it in a way more likely to succeed.
If your goal is to remain friends, keep it to yourself. Unless you both enjoy a spirited argument, in which case have at it.
Yeah, you’re not going to be able to talk her out of that. No one starts believing in that stuff by reasoning about it. If you value her friendship, I’d just agree to disagree.
Also, having sat through the linked video, I’m a little confused about what “reconnective healing” actually is. If I go to a practitioners office what does he do, besides offer vague slogans about energy?
First step: think to yourself, “What will my ‘setting her straight’ accomplish?”
You already know the answer to this: nothing. As you’ve noted, you won’t make her change her mind.
Second step: if I’m insistent on trying anyway, should I do it in a very public forum?
No, you should not. In this case, it doesn’t sound like the information she provided is private. As such, if you do decide to set her straight, you’ll come off as extremely douchey (actually doing that would be pretty shitty) or if she has other people calling what she posted hogwash, you’ll contribute to a pile-on. Either scenario is designed to put her on the defensive and won’t have a good result.
As an aside, you might piss your friend off, too, if he you really upset his wife.
If she posted it to your wall, it’d be one thing- you’d have the right to say hogwash and you wouldn’t be an asshole to do it. But to demean something that she posted on her own wall, that makes it assholish. I have two friends that are naturopathic doctors, and they post some extreme woowoo bullshit on their walls on a regular basis, but I’d never dream of starting shit with them for it. Live and let live.
My very best friends in the world occasionally astonish me with their blips of complete ignorance. Yesterday I was informed that they don’t like to get vaccines because they don’t want to put “all those foreign chemicals” in their bodies (copious amounts of frozen dinners, Pepsi, candy bars and whatever they serve at Applebees is ok though).
This drove me insane for about 12 hours but I’m over it now. Like Larry Borgia says…they didn’t reason themselves into it, I’m not going to reason them out of it.
And, who gives a fuck? Unless they decide that it’s reasonable to start an open fire in my hallway their ignorance has nothing to do with me and my health. I’d rather be friends with them than not, so I keep my mouth shut.
I did a bit of research and apparently the guy is a chiropractor by trade, which is the first red flag. Digging a little deeper into it things quickly get (or rather, remain) very vague, a lot of “spiritual energy”-type stuff and not a lot of details save for some feeble attempts to appear legitimate with the support of known quacks like Gary Schwartz, Dannion Brinkley, and Raymond Moody.
Is the “hogwash” your friend believes in harmful or harmless? To use a crude analogy, suppose you have an elderly Catholic relative who’s suffering from cancer. Suppose further that the relative goes to church, lights a candle and says a prayer to St. Jude every day. Now, you might think that’s a silly waste of time… but there’s absolutely no reason you should try to “set her straight,” UNLESS she’s doing those things INSTEAD of seeking actual medical treatment!
If she does those things AND sees a good oncologist, I don’t see the harm. But if she says, “I don’t need an oncologist, St. Jude will take care of me,” you have my blessing to argue with her.
I don’t know anything about “Reconnective healing,” but I admit, it sounds “woo” on the face of it. My question is, does your friend advocate the Woo stuff as an ALTERNATIVE to real medicine, or just as a New Agey complement? It makes a big difference. If your friend could be putting his/her health at risk by following this dubious brand of alternative medicine, or if he/she is advising other people to embrace this and reject real medicien… then yes, you should say something.
What you have to decide is, are your friend’s interests harmlessly silly or are they potentialy dangerous? If it’s just silly, ignore it. If it’s potentially dangerous, you should speak up.
I do not agree. Why would you take responsibility for someone else’s beliefs? If you want to cure your cancer with cinnamon and green tea or whatever instead of radiation and chemo, what’s it to me? All that arguing with someone about things like this is going to do is alienate them. Facebook is not the place to fight ignorance.
I normally subscribe to the “plant a seed” method of debate with people who talk about things that make me go “Hogwash!” inside, but after watching part of that video, I would recuse myself from the debate because I don’t think anything I would say would be very useful (it would be something along the lines of, “Holy crap, what a crock of shit!”).
The OP is talking about a friend. Do you feel NO responsibility to protect a friend from his or her worst instincts?
I wouldn’t try to tell a stranger how to handle an illness, but if someone I cared about was doing something dangerous, I’d make every effort to set him or her straight.
If I really felt the need to, and was reasonably sure they’d listen to me, I would at least do it privately, not calling them out to be a dumbass in front of all of their and my Facebook friends.
No, you are not being a jerk for pointing out that they are falling for a scam. I pointed out scams to a few of my friends and saved them from getting ripped off.
Jeez, I can’t even get my fourth dimension circulatory system to integrate with my chakras. Now there’s a fifth?
Dude, pick your battles. You are not going to reason your friend out of her belief, and who knows, she may be picking up some benefit from the Placebo effect. Remember, most of her other friends read the same thing, raised an eyebrow, silently declared “hogwash!”, and then let it go.
If she asks you specifically what your thoughts are, stick to the basics of empirical science and state that since you can’t find any studies supporting or replicating those findings, you chose to pursue other health options. Or, in other words, “Not my thing. No thanks.”
I have a friend (former co-worker) who believes in stuff exactly like the video, reiki, energy healing etc.
She is an absolutely beautiful person. When she mentions that nonsense I just say “oh, cool” and segue into something less ridiculous. I don’t want to hurt her feelings and if she was actually sick or injured she has enough sense to go to a real doctor, so there is no chance for harm.
