Maybe I should end a friendship.

It’s this guy again:

He quit asking me to cuddle with him, but he’s annoying on so many other levels.

Here are some of his shitty qualities;

Although he doesn’t consider himself a 9/11 “Truther”, he basically is. He’s apparently bothering people other than me about his ideas of the government having been involved in 9/11. It’s impossible to argue with him because he’s either made up an elaborate story on why and how the Government is involved, or he read it online. He knows that I come here, (Straight Dope), for advice. He mocks me for it because; “Everyone has their head up their ass, and are liberal know-it-alls.” So when I point him to one of the many “Truther” threads, he doesn’t even bother reading it.

He mocks me for taking medication for my anxiety and depression. “I’m just being a good friend, I’m not a guy in a lab coat that sees you as a giant dollar sign.” This is particularly offensive to me. He has no idea what I’m like without my meds. “You don’t need them.” He states as a fact. I admitted to him that there are a lot of people that take medication that they don’t need, but there are some who need them.

He recently asked me if I like Hillary Clinton. I avoided the question. But I thought that he might not try to impose his thoughts on me, because I JUST blocked him for days for being a dick to me. I thought he might have learned that if he insults me, I don’t talk to him.

It’s not requited reading, but if you would like to know exactly what was said:

*“anyone who thinks hillary would be a good president is a total and complete moron. i was shocked that u were part of that group”

" because she hosted her own email server in her house (completely against government regulation law) so that she could email foreign nations unmonitored and give away (billlions) of our money that we pay in taxes to foreign aid of other nations in return for “donations” to her own private foundation that she can use for whatever she wishes. which is wrong on so many levels"

“just a tip on the iceberg of a long list dating back to the 70s, a career marred by self serving corrupt selfish piece of shit actions”*

Now, I don’t know much about this shit. so I’m in no position to argue with him, but even if I did know about it, it’s EXUSTING arguing with him over and over. I know most liberals have down-played the controversy… People smarter than me.

He calls me a moron. He still says; “That’s gay” when describing something he doesn’t like. I know I’m not the only one who’s sick of him.

Why do I put up with it? Otherwise he’s a talented and smart guy with the same interests than me. We hang out ALL THE TIME. Perhaps too much. We play video games, and it’s hard to find people with the same general interests than me. He’s ultimately a good guy… I’m just sick of his judgmental ways.

Should I ditch him??

I think you have already answered that question.
Now just do it.

The first and third is just the typical “my friend’s political views/sanity levels don’t match up with mine,” which is reason enough to end a friendship. But the meds thing . . . wow. He could actually kill someone by telling them things like that.

ETA: Oh, and I complete missed the homophobic invective thing. Drop this guy like a hot potato.

If the minuses outweigh the plusses, do it. Life is too short to spend with people who aren’t good to you.

Time to avoid him.

I’m sure there are other talented and smart guys with the same interests as you who aren’t insensitive idiots. You don’t need this guy.

He just messaged me.

“I was just kidding. I don’t care if you support Hillary or not”

Oh well. I have him blocked.

Another thing about him is that he’s got amazing friends, which I would really like to get to know better, but wouldn’t be able to at this point if I cut him off. IMHO, the good outweighs the bad, however, I don’t think that he should be able to act the way he has without some repercussion. As for as him saying; “That’s gay”, he also says stuff is “retarded”. I don’t think he means it as an insult to gay people at all… but it irks me every time he says it.

As of now, I’m not talking to him. I’m REALLY going to have to change my lifestyle if we don’t end up as friends in the end, we hang out like… 3 or 4 times a week.

Thanks Jeff!

Do you enjoy being mocked, ridiculed and belittled? Some people really do derive some sense of satisfaction from these things. If so, it sounds like you have a good friend.

However, if you don’t like being mocked, ridiculed and belittled, being around this person for significant amounts of time is not in your self-interest. And this person is not your friend.

He just needs more cuddling.

He kinda sounds like me lol…

If he treats you well and doesn’t mean to directly insult you then he’s just expressing his views on things.

For example, he may truly think you don’t need anxiety medication and that Hillary is marked by “a career marred by self serving corrupt selfish piece of shit actions.”

If you’re going to end a close friendship because you love Hillary Clinton that much, then you’re in the wrong. If he simply doesn’t sympathize with your struggles in life, and puts you down all the time, then he’s a shitty friend and you should end it.

IOW, don’t let politics get in the way a good friendship. As a guy who similarly sometimes devolves into those tirades, I know that we mean well, but we are strong-willed and sometimes that leads to indirect insults of the people we care for.

I have friends who are different in their political views. We don’t talk about it, and that’s how we get along. He insists on talking about it. He doesn’t literally think I’m a moron, but as you can see above, he still calls me one. I don’t give a shit who he votes for, or if he votes at all. I would rather talk about something else.

Edit: He’s really a good guy when all is said and done. I just hate when he does this. We have a mutual friend who’s sick of him too. Like a said, he’s got some great friends that I wish I could call friends of my own, but I know them through this guy. It’s sad because it would be a big opportunity for me to become friends with some of his gang. These are nice people. If I were to end the friendship, I might try to hit some of them up on my own.

If he’s calling you a moron, walk away now.

More love. More cuddles. It’s what the world needs. He just wants more love and acceptance. You wouldn’t believe the radical whacked out ideas people will drop when you love them enough.

Agreed re the moron comment. What friendship??

In your previous thread you describe him as touching you without your consent. This guy has absolutely no respect for your boundaries.

You have basically two choices here:

  1. Clearly and explicitly re-establish your boundaries and tell him you expect him to respect them. And be prepared to walk should he violate them again.
  2. You could skip 1 and go straight to the walking away part.

Technically you could also let him walk all over you like a doormat in the name of friendship, but really, how’s that been working out for ya? Is that what you want? If it makes you unhappy, change it. You can’t control his behavior so your remaining options are above.

Also… why exactly would you need this guy to get to know someone else? If you’ve met them and like them, get in touch with them your own damn self. Take some initiative; you don’t need him to do it for you.

At this point in time, you are letting him treat you like crap. So stop it. And maybe having some actual consequences for his egregious behavior might lead to a come-to-Jesus moment for him. (One can always hope.)

Just how desperate are you for human companionship that you go out of your way to spend time with someone like this?

Life isn’t a perfect business contract.

This suggests that you could take a purely mercenary attitude toward him. Just keep on hanging out with him, and quietly put up with all his annoying idiosyncrasies, and use him as a stepping stone towards getting to know these other friends. Once you have enough other friends to keep you sufficiently entertained, then drop him.

We hashed it out. He said sorry quite a few times. All seems good.

I will not tolerate him calling me a moron or anything like that again. He knows it. So that’s that.

Thanks for the advice. I’m not a pushover. I expressed myself and he apologized. He knows are friendship is on the line if he does it again.

You only hear my side of this story, remember. I’m sure I can be an annoying friend at times too.