The FBI is after me! (spamscam)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I am just quivering with fear. No, I’m quivering, but it’s from laughter. The scammers have come up with a new one, or at least new to me.

I submit, for your approval, the following threat:

| Federal Bureau of Investigat?ion

Add to contacts
From: Federal Bureau of Investigation (fbinotification@fbi.gov)
Sent: Wed 11/09/11 1:58 PM
To:
Final Notification !!!?

1:58 PM
Reply ?

Federal Bureau of Investigat?ion Add to contacts
From: Federal Bureau of Investigation (fbinotification@fbi.gov)
Sent: Wed 11/09/11 1:58 PM
To:
Microsoft SmartScreen marked this message as junk and we’ll delete it after ten days.
Wait, it’s safe!
Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division
FBI Headquarters, Washington, D.C.
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001 Website: www.fbi.gov

Attention, this is the final warning you are going to receive from me do you get me?

I hope you understand how many times this message has been sent to you.

We have warned you so many times and you have decided to ignore our e-mails or because you believe we have not been instructed to get you arrested, and today if you fail to respond back to us with the payment then, we would first send a letter to the mayor of the city where you reside and direct them to close your bank account until you have been jailed and all your properties will be confiscated by the FBI. We would also send a letter to the company/agency that you are working for so that they could get you fired until we are through with our investigations because a suspect is not supposed to be working for the government or any private organization.

Your id which we have in our database been sent to all the crimes agencies in America for them to insert you in their website as an internet fraudster and to warn people from having any deals with you. This would have been solved all this while if you had gotten the certificate signed, endorsed and stamped as you were instructed in the e-mail below. This is the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) am writing in response to the e-mail you sent to us and am using this medium to inform you that there is no more time left to waste because you have been given 48hrs to comply as stated earlier to have the document endorsed, signed and stamped without failure and you must adhere to these directives to avoid you blaming yourself at last when we must have arrested and jailed you for life and all your properties confiscated.

You failed to comply with our directives and that was the reason why we didn’t hear from you as our director has already been notified about you get the process completed yesterday and right now the warrant of arrest has been signed against you and it will be carried out in the next 48hours as strictly signed by the FBI director. We have investigated and found out that you didn’t have any idea when the fraudulent deal was committed with your information’s/identity and right now if your id is placed on our website as a wanted person, I believe you know that it will be a shame to you and your entire family because after then it will be announce in all the local channels that you are wanted by the FBI.

As a good Christian and a honest man, I decided to see how I could be of help to you because I would not be happy to see you end up in jail and all your properties confiscated all because your information’s was used to carry out a fraudulent transactions, I called the EFCC and they directed me to a private attorney who could help you get the process done and he stated that he will endorse, sign and stamp the document at the sum of $155.00 usd only and I believe this process is cheaper for you. You need to do everything possible within today and tomorrow to get this process done because our director has called to inform me that the warrant of arrest has been signed against you and once it has been approved, then the arrest will be carried out, and from our investigations we learnt that you were the person that forwarded your identity to one impostor/fraudsters in Nigeria when he had a deal with you about the transfer of some illegal funds into your bank account.

I pleaded on your behalf so this agency could give you more time so you could get this process done because I learnt that you were sent several e-mail without getting a response from you, please bear it in mind that this is the only way that I can be able to help you at this moment or you would have to face the law and its consequences once it has befall on you. You would make the payment through western union money transfer with the below details.

NAME: MARK SAM OJO
ADDRESS: 19 EKI LANE IKOYI, LAGOS NIGERIA
TEXT QUESTION: FOR
ANSWER: YOU
AMOUNT: $155

Payment confirmation details;

Sender’s Name:
Sender’s Address:
Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN):

After sending the payment you are to get back to me via this email (fbinotification@fbigo.org) with the payment confirmation details and a scanned copy of the Western Union receipt for confirmation. Make sure that you don’t hesitate making the payment down to the agency by today so they could have the certificate endorsed, signed and stamped immediately without any further delay. After all this process has been carried out, then we would have to proceed to the bank for the transfer of your compensation funds which is valued at the sum of $2,500,000.00 usd which was supposed to have been transferred to you all this while.

Note: All the crime agencies have been contacted on this regards and we shall trace and arrest you if you disregard this instructions. You are given a grace today to make the payment for the document after which your failure to do that will attract a maximum arrest and finally you will be appearing in court for act of terrorism, money laundering and drug trafficking charges, so be warned not to try anything funny because you are been watched.
THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

FROM THE OFFICE OF ROBERT MUELLER

WASHINGTON DC

Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division
FBI Headquarters, Washington D.C.
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001 Website: www.fbi.gov

2

That is really lame, even by Nigerian scam standards. They don’t even attempt to explain why the FBI would direct you to pay a debt to an address in Nigeria. No finesse at all, very bush league.

3

Obviously heard that she’s a moderator at SDMB, and figured she’d be used to getting threatening letters from the FBI saying that she’ll be arrested. Aren’t all the Mods on some kind of watchlist?

4

So you claim. But the email clearly states that you’ve been notified in previous emails which you ignored.

You am been warned.

5

The point that really stands out here (so obviously) is what a lame and transparently bad attempt it is. Nice try, Mr. Ojo. Not.

Taking up this point, we note how many scams are so amateurish. There are those really sophisticated phishing scams with counterfeit web pages that really look like the real things – and then there’s THESE, like Ms. Bodoni’s little FBI dust-up there.

Lately, I’ve been getting e-mailed traffic tickets from the New York State Police, apparently for going over 55 mph somewhere (in NY, one supposes). (The scam, apparently, is I’m supposed to download a file with the details of the ticket, which of course will turn my machine into a brain-eating zombie.) Actually, I’ve never in my life been further east than Nebraska.

How lame is that? This lame: The SAME ticket was e-mailed to about a dozen people all at once, with all their e-addresses in either the To: line or the Cc: line, so I could see at once that the same ticket was mass mailed. NOW, how lame is that? Sheesh, at least be smart enough to put all the addresses in Bcc: so every recipient will think he’s the only one!

How many people are stoopid enough to fall for some of these more blatant e-mail and web scams? Apparently, some. Unbelieeeeeeeevable.

ETA: Here’s hoping the FBI goes gently with you, Lynn!

6

Sure, it looks like an obvious scam now but only because they ran it through a faulty translator.

Here’s another example. By sheer luck the scheme was mistakenly translated into Swedish chef speak or it surely could have cost victims millions of dollars. As computer translations get better though, the scams of criminal masterminds such as these will be harder and harder to spot.

7

[QUOTE=MARK SAM OJO]
so be warned not to try anything funny because you are been watched.

[/QUOTE]

Lynn should totally go find a clown suit and seltzer bottle and go dance in the yard. Some rubber chickens and banana peels would be a nice touch. At least if they’re going to watch you, they should have something to see!

8

No FBI here, just someone who isn’t sure whether or not they’re a doctor.

9

I wonder what would happen if someone set up a dummy email and sent

to Mr. John Yisa Jr.

10

But if she doesn’t comply, the mayor of the city she resides in will close her bank accounts and have her jailed.

The Mayor!

11

The FBI sent me an e-mail a few days ago saying they would arrest me the next day. They still haven’t done it so I guess they decided I wasn’t worth it.

I’m really hurt.

12

For the record, I am still at large. Clearly, the FBI is afraid of me.

13

My favorite parts - “…because a suspect is not supposed to be working for the government or any private organization.” Having to fire every single suspect in every legal case has been hard on the economy, hasn’t it?

Possibly even better - “…that will attract a maximum arrest.” Attracting arrests is bad enough, but this is a MAXIMUM arrest.

I also like how it veers from threatening to generous back to threatening, ending very unexpectedly with a promise of $2,500,000.00. So which would you chose, $2,500,000.00 or maximum arrest?

14

They have your id in their database? No news on your ego though?

15

I tend to think of these crappy scams being written by the up and comers who see the big boys getting stuff with scams and have to try their luck at it. “Anybody can scam those stupid Americans out of their money!” he tells his friends. “I’ll prove it.”

I can’t imagine anyone else thinking that, if you don’t even know the language, you can somehow trick people into thinking you are legit.

16

Easily my favorite part:

“Hello, Mayor? Yes, hi. This is the FBI. Please close all of Lynn’s accounts.”
“Of course. Permanently?”
“No, Mr. Mayor. Just until she’s jailed and I confiscate all of her property.”
“Ah, OK. The typical, then.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
“Of course. Goodbye, FBI.”
“Goodbye, Mayor.”

17

Later
“Hello, this is The Bank.”
“Hello, The Bank, this is The Mayor. Would you please be so kind as to close Lynn’s account until she has been jailed and all her properties have been confiscated by the FBI?”
“Of course, The Mayor. We can only assume that The FBI has been trying to email her, and she has been ignoring the emails.”
“That’s what it looks like, The Bank. If only there were a good christian FBI agent, who could stop this process with a private attorney.”
“Yes, she could contact him, and send him the private attorney’s fee.”
“Well, it’s too bad she didn’t. Thank-you, The Bank.”
“You’re welcome, The Mayor.”

18

Last time I got an email from the FBI, the address to reply to was FBI@somethingorother.ru …

Really, the FBI is using a server in Russia for their email, now, huh? I wonder why.

19

Apparently Russian servers are the best, all the trendiest spammers are using them these days.