Common, supposedly practical advice you'd been in trouble if you took

[elfkin477]

Common wisdom says not to try to sleep until you're tired, but that's advice I discard. Why? Because I often don't get tired in a timespan that conducive to working a regular schedule. I've been awake 21 hours and I'm not particularly tired yet. If I stayed up until I was tired, I'd be up for several more hours, which works okay on weekends, but not so much when you're expected to be at work at 8. So instead of waiting to magically be tired, I go to bed and eventually will fall asleep 99% of the time. Eventually.


So how about you? What time-worn advice do you completely dismiss as being unworkable for you?

[ZipperJJ]

"Don't work out at night."

Yeah if I didn't work out at night, I'd never work out at all.

"Don't eat dinner too late."

If I didn't eat dinner late I'd never eat dinner, cuz I eat after I work out.

[Shagnasty]

"Do what you love and the money will follow". Worst piece of advise ever but especially for me. I picked something I could tolerate for long periods as a career but, if I waited for someone to pay me to do the random crap that I truly love, I would starve to death.

[MsRobyn]

Originally Posted by ZipperJJ

"Don't work out at night."

Yeah if I didn't work out at night, I'd never work out at all.

"Don't eat dinner too late."

If I didn't eat dinner late I'd never eat dinner, cuz I eat after I work out.

Yeah, about half of the diet advice I get is stupid and useless at best. "You should always eat..." "You should never eat..." "I read somewhere/saw on TV that..." are all guarantees that I won't listen, and for my sanity and the physical safety of the poor schlub passing this information along, it's for the best.

[Ashley Pomeroy]

There is the old saying about feeding a fever and starving a cold. I've always interpreted this to mean that you're supposed to eat a lot when you have a fever and drink a lot when you have a cold. Instinctively, it seems sensible. I have a mental idea of cups of tea washing away the cold, and (wave hands) something about prawn cocktail shitting out fevers. But according to the internet it's just nonsense. Lies.

"It doesn't matter how you look, what matters is how you are on the inside?" To which I say: Gary Busey. He has much wisdom to share with the world, judging by his Twitter feed. "Running backwards naked through a cornfield at midnight will show you where you've been". That was one of his. "Romance = Relying On Magnificent And Necessary Compatible Energy". Another one. Do you have any idea how aggravating it was to embolden those letters? It was very aggravating. I didn't have to do it, but I did, because I'm better than you. But, yes. Gary Busey. He has a mind. You wouldn't expect those thoughts to come from that body, that face. You wouldn't expect it, which has the effect of making his thoughts seem even more profound - perhaps that's intentional. But if he was struck mute, and you had way to see into his mind, would you go near him? You'd flee. Straight into the arms - of Nick Nolte.

Running backwards naked through a cornfield at midnight will show you where you've been is RBNTACAMWSYWYB. What could it mean? It can't be an anagram, there aren't enough vowels. Perhaps if I arrange them into a grid:

RBNT
ACAM
WSYW
YB

Damn, doesn't fit. Five letters, four letters, three letters, doesn't fit. Circle perhaps? Or some kind of pentagram? Busey's wisdom confounds polygonal thought.

But, yes, the other classic is that if someone's being mean to you, you should bop them in the nose, and from that point they'll be polite and humble and you'll be a hero. The problem is that real life is more like Robocop ("Guaranteed military sales! Renovation program! Spare parts for 25 years! You just messed with the wrong guy!") than The Karate Kid. And of course if you go around bopping people on the nose all the time, then you are the demons.

[Ulfreida]

There are three kinds of bad good advice.

1. Advice that is given because if you follow it, the advisor will benefit (invest in gold, we should operate on that, your mother and I think you should go to a college here in town).

2. Advice that continues to be given because the downside is difficult to ascertain (homeopathy, positive thinking)

3. Advice which is just recommending that you do what everyone else is doing, regardless of whether stupid for you, or even stupid for everyone (buying a house to flip).

Slightly tangential but the OP made me think of it: despair.com demotivational posters.

[Alpha Twit]

After changing the oil in my Dad's truck he told me to take the used oil out to the alleyway and pour it on the fire ant nest there. Toxic waste disposal and pest control, two birds one stone as far as he's concerned.

I know this used to be common thinking years ago but I chose another disposal method.

[raspberry hunter]

"If he drags his feet about marrying you it means he's not that into you."

I mean... that's good advice 99% of the time. This guy just happened to be the 1% where he was really into me, but he takes a looooong time to do anything. Took him ten years to buy a house. He's been looking into buying a new car for five years and counting. So the fact that it took us five years to get engaged was really not that long from his perspective (and indeed he still likes to joke that we rushed into things).

[SnakesCatLady]

"Put ice on it" for an injury. Uh, no thank you. Ice on my skin feels like you are holding an open flame to me - it burns. It hurts as bad or worse than the original injury.

The only time I have willingly put ice on an injury was when I broke my foot and, then walked on it and drove with it. It was swelling so bad the skin was shiny - I was afraid it was going to burst.

[Yorikke]

Originally Posted by SnakesCatLady

"Put ice on it" for an injury. Uh, no thank you. Ice on my skin feels like you are holding an open flame to me - it burns. It hurts as bad or worse than the original injury.

The only time I have willingly put ice on an injury was when I broke my foot and, then walked on it and drove with it. It was swelling so bad the skin was shiny - I was afraid it was going to burst.

I think it's understood by everyone else on Earth that you should wrap the ice in something like a towel, not flash-freeze your skin by pressing ice directly against it.

Joe

[even sven]

Major in a STEM field. Ha! I am an amazing academic
writer, but I have trouble with things like subtraction. A STEM degree would have just been a few months of torture until I flunked out with no degree at all.

[Cat Whisperer]

Originally Posted by elfkin477

Common wisdom says not to try to sleep until you're tired<snip>

I didn't realize that was common wisdom; I thought the common wisdom was to try to retain a regular schedule of sleeping, and get back to it as soon as possible if you have an interruption to it. Huh.

I don't care for "starve a fever, feed a cold" or whatever it is, either - when you're sick, you need food and rest. I often don't feel like eating when I'm sick, but I try to eat whatever I can get down.

[The Man With The Golden Gun]

"Always follow your dreams."

If I decided to follow my dreams now, you'd be hearing about little else on the national news for the two or three weeks afterward.

[Gatopescado]

Originally Posted by The Man With The Golden Gun

"Always follow your dreams."

If I decided to follow my dreams now, you'd be hearing about little else on the national news for the two or three weeks afterward.

Hi, Ted.

How's that "Cat Scratch Fever" treatin' ya?

[Cat Whisperer]

Originally Posted by The Man With The Golden Gun

"Always follow your dreams."

If I decided to follow my dreams now, you'd be hearing about little else on the national news for the two or three weeks afterward.

Well, hell, that's *everybody's* dream. That and having a machine gun mounted on your car.

[SticksAndString]

"If you ignore the bully, they'll quit bothering you."

If I had a nickle for every time a teacher told me this throughout my school career I would've been a millionaire before I graduated high school. Ignoring the bullies never seemed to work because they would just work harder to try and see how far they could push me before I'd break and lash out at them.

[Sister Vigilante]

If you can't sleep, get out of bed and go do something else.

No. If I can't sleep, the very least I can do is cuddle in the dark under some covers with my eyes closed. If I get up I just end up less tired than I was before. Although I have found that if I go to bed an hour later, I fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer. So I might as well just change my bedtime.

[Clothahump]

Originally Posted by Cat Whisperer

Well, hell, that's *everybody's* dream. That and having a machine gun mounted on your car.

How about an SUV?

[enipla]

Originally Posted by Sister Vigilante

If you can't sleep, get out of bed and go do something else.

This. I have no problems falling asleep, but often wake up in the middle of the night and have a real problem going back to sleep. At least if I lay in bed, I feel I'm getting some rest. And I often snooze/wake/snooze/wake.

[Ethilrist]

Don't get married until you've got a steady job.

[elfkin477]

Originally Posted by SticksAndString

"If you ignore the bully, they'll quit bothering you."

If I had a nickle for every time a teacher told me this throughout my school career I would've been a millionaire before I graduated high school. Ignoring the bullies never seemed to work because they would just work harder to try and see how far they could push me before I'd break and lash out at them.

This is another one I was thinking about. Do people who say this hate children, or were their childhoods so charmed that they never dealt with bullies themselves?

[Silver Tyger]

Originally Posted by elfkin477

This is another one I was thinking about. Do people who say this hate children, or were their childhoods so charmed that they never dealt with bullies themselves?

On some bullies it works, if you can show no reaction whatsoever. I was picked on a lot as a kid and it worked for me, but I was not getting beat up or physically harassed.

[Ellen Cherry]

Originally Posted by SticksAndString

"If you ignore the bully, they'll quit bothering you."

If I had a nickle for every time a teacher told me this throughout my school career I would've been a millionaire before I graduated high school. Ignoring the bullies never seemed to work because they would just work harder to try and see how far they could push me before I'd break and lash out at them.

I understand what you're saying, but you did not actually ignore them. You taught them to be even more persistent. And I'm sorry you were bullied.

[Drunky Smurf]

Originally Posted by Sister Vigilante

If you can't sleep, get out of bed and go do something else.

No. If I can't sleep, the very least I can do is cuddle in the dark under some covers with my eyes closed. If I get up I just end up less tired than I was before. Although I have found that if I go to bed an hour later, I fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer. So I might as well just change my bedtime.

I've been hearing lately that waking up at night is natural and that a two stage sleep cycle is a normal mode of sleeping for humans.

http://ca.shine.yahoo.com/blogs/shin...144326799.html

Usually if I can't get right back to sleep after waking up in the middle of the night I'll turn on the tv for an hour or so and then turn it off and I can usually fall right back to sleep. I put the tv on the Game Show Network and usually late at night is when the old time game shows are on, like Match Game 74 and Richard Dawson era Family Fued, and it's fun to watch those.

[RaftPeople]

I was lifting weight one time, bench press, and I went to remove the 45lb weight from the bar. I forgot about the 10lb weight sitting on the outside of the 45, so when I removed the 45 the 10 dropped straight down onto my toes (I was wearing leather cross trainers).

After dealing with the pain for a couple minutes I suddenly heard every sports coach I've ever had - "Run it off" "Shake it off" etc.

So I went for a couple laps thinking this must be good advice, I'd been told it so many times. When I was done running my toes still hurt, I took off my shoe and my sock was soaked in blood.

I hadn't broken my big toe but the nail was a goner and the doc said I damaged the area that produces nails so it would grow ugly/not well for a long time.

[TruCelt]

Originally Posted by RaftPeople

. . . I hadn't broken my big toe but the nail was a goner and the doc said I damaged the area that produces nails so it would grow ugly/not well for a long time.

Pass the brain bleach please. . .

[elfkin477]

Originally Posted by RaftPeople

I hadn't broken my big toe but the nail was a goner and the doc said I damaged the area that produces nails so it would grow ugly/not well for a long time.

How long did it take to get better? I was trying to break a branch off a log when it snapped back and smashed into my thumb. After a couple of minutes I got brave enough to take my glove off, and it was a bloody mess too. The nail didn't grow right after that for about 8 months.

[Wesley Clark]

You can trust the police

Do what you love and the money will follow

Getting married is a good idea

[zoid]

Originally Posted by Ashley Pomeroy

There is the old saying about feeding a fever and starving a cold. I've always interpreted this to mean that you're supposed to eat a lot when you have a fever and drink a lot when you have a cold. Instinctively, it seems sensible. I have a mental idea of cups of tea washing away the cold, and (wave hands) something about prawn cocktail shitting out fevers. But according to the internet it's just nonsense. Lies.

"It doesn't matter how you look, what matters is how you are on the inside?" To which I say: Gary Busey. He has much wisdom to share with the world, judging by his Twitter feed. "Running backwards naked through a cornfield at midnight will show you where you've been". That was one of his. "Romance = Relying On Magnificent And Necessary Compatible Energy". Another one. Do you have any idea how aggravating it was to embolden those letters? It was very aggravating. I didn't have to do it, but I did, because I'm better than you. But, yes. Gary Busey. He has a mind. You wouldn't expect those thoughts to come from that body, that face. You wouldn't expect it, which has the effect of making his thoughts seem even more profound - perhaps that's intentional. But if he was struck mute, and you had way to see into his mind, would you go near him? You'd flee. Straight into the arms - of Nick Nolte.

Running backwards naked through a cornfield at midnight will show you where you've been is RBNTACAMWSYWYB. What could it mean? It can't be an anagram, there aren't enough vowels. Perhaps if I arrange them into a grid:

RBNT
ACAM
WSYW
YB

Damn, doesn't fit. Five letters, four letters, three letters, doesn't fit. Circle perhaps? Or some kind of pentagram? Busey's wisdom confounds polygonal thought.

But, yes, the other classic is that if someone's being mean to you, you should bop them in the nose, and from that point they'll be polite and humble and you'll be a hero. The problem is that real life is more like Robocop ("Guaranteed military sales! Renovation program! Spare parts for 25 years! You just messed with the wrong guy!") than The Karate Kid. And of course if you go around bopping people on the nose all the time, then you are the demons.

I think this is excellent advice.
Not for me mind you, but excellent advice none the less.

[Nunzio Tavulari]

Always cut the red wire. Boy, would that bit of advice have blown up in my face.