Any topic, any style, serious or tongue in cheek.
- Trust dogs. They always know who to stay away from.
- When you know better, do better.
- Listen more than you speak.
Oh, God no. Racist and sexist dogs is absolutely a thing. Negative habituation to the appearances of a given gender, skin color or even minor stuff like hats or sunglasses based on the experience of past abuse or other trauma. Dogs = frequently kinda dumb.
Random advice:
1.) Never give the time of day to tone-deaf pedantic idiots that are always nitpicking other’s light-hearted advice 
.
You can always cut it shorter.
Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow.
Don’t mess around with Slim.
Don’t fall in love with a dreamer.
Don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys.
(Keeping it Cafe Society relevant.)
Moved to thread games at the request of the OP
I was thinking more of horror movies, but wherever you mind goes I guess…
Never trust someone who claims that you can trust them.
Don’t follow the crowd just to fit in.
Don’t shit where you eat.
The number 2 horse in the 5th.
“The good old days weren’t all that good.
Tomorrow’s not as bad as it seems.”
– Billy Joel
Don’t marry outside of your tax bracket.
Don’t pay interest on something that depreciates in value.
FTR, I have not followed either of these pieces of advice.
If you marry for money, you’ll earn every penny.
An occasional light spanking when your kid is misbehaving and talking is not getting through to him, will very likely mean you won’t need to take more drastic disciplinary measures when he’s older.
Better to hear something twice than not at all.
If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.
Pay your taxes. Be an informed citizen. Vote.
Democracy is a journey, not a destination.
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember what you said.
Be kind.
Remember both in good times and bad times: this, too, shall pass.
Never make a threat you’re not fully prepared to follow through on.
Do not pet the fluffy cows.
Don’t feed cucumber salad to your horse.
(The horse doesn’t eat cucumber salad.)
Rotate your tires.
Smart people learn from their mistakes. Wise people learn from other people’s mistakes.
Good, quick, and cheap: you get to pick only two.
Stop that.
Never season your food before you taste it. Especially if at a lunchtime job interview.
On the other hand, the perfect is the enemy of the good.
Lazy to normal people should take heed of the first piece of advice, perfectionists and obsessives the second. The trick though, is in accurately judging which you actually are.
All things in moderation. Including moderation. (Oscar Wilde)
Trust in God, but always build your house on high ground. (Robert Fulghum)
Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things. (?)
Sleep on it. You always make better decisions after a good rest.