Please feel free to share advice and sayings that Mr. Franklin never got around to sharing. I’ll start:
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that,
you’ve got it made.
Eagles soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
Never rub another mans rhubarb.
You can pick your friends; you can pick your nose, never pick your friends nose.
Always treat people with kindness and respect – makes it easier to stab them in the back later.
There are two types of people in this world – those who put people into two separate groups, and those who don’t.
Some see the glass as half full, others see it as half empty. What’s this fucking glass people are talking about?!?
It isn’t the cough that carries you off. It’s the coffin they carry you off in.
Everything should be made as simple as possible but no simpler.
Real life sucks losers dry. If you want to fuck with the eagles, you’ve got to learn to fly.
One of the remarkable things about life is that it never gets so bad it couldn’t get worse.
Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
Never fire a laser at a mirror.
Some days you’re the windshield, some days you’re the bug.
Never dance in hiking boots.
Never pass up a chance to use the bathroom.
Soylent green is made of people.
Buy low, sell high.
Don’t stand up in a canoe.
Look before you leap. He who hesitates is lost.
Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!
Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.
Be nice to stupid people, they’re the ones who will decide your next pay raise.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Always tell the truth; it makes lying later easier.
The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten.
Some days you eat bear, some days the bear eats you.
Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
He who laughs last, laughs alone.
A friend helps you move, a best friend helps you move bodies.
Only Nixon could go to China.