Check the air in your spare tire.
Don’t eat yellow snow.
Never forget the phrase, “It was like that when I got here.”
Duck.
Never admit to anything, make them accuse you first.
If you don’t know who the sucker is, it’s you.
Make the system work for you.
Never trust a fart.
Check the air in all your tires. You’d be surprised at how much you lose.
(I check mine every second fill-up.)
A closed mouth can’t say anything stupid.
Don’t fuck the crazy.
A bird in the hand will probably crap in your hand.
“Quit worrying about things you have no control over.”
No one is thinking about what you’re doing as much as you worry they are.
It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission.
Change the batteries in your smoke (and if relevant, carbon monoxide) detectors.
Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
You can’t win if you don’t play.
Vaccinate your children.
I’m not sure I would agree with it put that way - there was this one girl back in 73 who -----------. But phrase it “Don’t fuck with crazy people” and it comes close to my Gramma Rose’s favorite ---- “Never argue with crazy people”.