In the Bad Ol' Summertime

[SticksAndString]

It's that time of year again.

Dear parents,

for the love of crap, please please please please PLEASE do not send your underage minor children to the pool. Aside from the fact that it's against the rules (they have to be 16 to be unsupervised in the pool area), I think they put something in the pool water to make preteen boys become idiots the minute it touches their skin. Because I swear preeteen boys+cute girls to show off for+ pool=they're suddenly stupid.

If one of their stupid stunts (like taking a running start so they can hit the edge of the pool and do a flying twist leap thing) causes them to get injured EVERY SINGLE ADULT in the pool area will probably be held responsible and as one of those adults, I don't want that responsability. AND they'd probably raise our HOA dues to pay for a lifeguard. All because you couldn't be arsed to come down and keep at least half an eye on your kids.

Biting my lip so hard it's bruised,

Stick

[The Librarian]

Originally Posted by SticksAndString

(they have to be 16 to be unsupervised in the pool area)

What?

[asterion]

Originally Posted by The Librarian

What?

I think it's a condo or apartment complex type of pool with no lifeguard. I assume it's a liability thing.

[The Librarian]

Originally Posted by asterion

I think it's a condo or apartment complex type of pool with no lifeguard. I assume it's a liability thing.

What's a pool for then? (if it's not a place for 12 year olds to goof off)

[Vinyl Turnip]

A place for supervised 12 year olds to goof off.

[blondebear]

Hey at least you don't have ducks in the pool like we do. Kids, generally speaking, don't leave piles of black goo on the bottom when they're done frolicking in the water.

[TriPolar]

Get a lifeguard or get rid of the pool. But I agree with the sentiment. We also should have a bank where everybody just throws their money in a big box and only takes out what they put in. It would cost a lot less than those other banks we use.

[Thudlow Boink]

Originally Posted by asterion

I think it's a condo or apartment complex type of pool with no lifeguard. I assume it's a liability thing.

Yeah, when the OP started talking about "the pool," I automatically pictured a public pool, with lifeguards and stuff. The OP would have been clearer if it had set the scene a little better.

[Vinyl Turnip]

Originally Posted by TriPolar

Get a lifeguard or get rid of the pool.

I've never in my life seen an apartment complex pool with a lifeguard. Like the OP's pool, they had a rule requiring kids under 16 or 17 to be supervised by an adult.

And fuck getting rid of the pool. Why should everyone suffer because a few mouth-breathers refuse to keep a leash on their brats?

[billfish678]

I would fully endorse a planet wide law that said unless a pool was lined with lead weighted bear traps anybody who drowned in the damn thing (well their relatives anyway) was shit out a luck regarding any lawsuits. Shit, people, its fucking water and you can drown in it. Its what water does! A no lifeguard sign should be enough. Hell, fuck even that, unless you see a tower with a guy in it and it says in on giant flashing neon sign "LIFEGUARD ON DUTY NOW" use your damn brain and go with the assumption there isn't one and react accordingly.

[SticksAndString]

Sorry--you're right. I should've set the scene better.

We live in a subdivision with an HOA which had a pool long before we moved in. The pool is maintained with HOA dues. No, we don't have a lifeguard and we have a "security guard" part time in the evenings and on the weekends once school gets out. Not that the security guard does much aside from sit there and text/talk on their phone.

And yes, it is a liability thing. Thankfully, nobody has (at least to my knowledge) ever gotten seriously injured although I have seen all manner of idiotic behavior taking place.

We've had issues since we moved in a decade or so ago with the pool (and by We I mean the HOA, not just me specificially)--vandalism, theft, non-residents breaking into the pool, unsupervised kids of all ages, people bringing dogs into the pool area (another no-no), residents using the pool to hold pool parties for non-residents. You name it, it's probably happened. Last summer, there was a near riot after the pool was closed for nearly 3 weeks because some idiot had started chipping away at the coping (I think it's called? Mortar? I have NO idea) on one edge of the pool which caused several large stones to come loose and break off. It took the HOA longer than it should have to get the damage assessed and repaired (which is another rant entirely).

If it weren't for my kiddo, I wouldn't go down to the pool at all. He insists on going nearly every single day and I honestly can't think of a good reason (other than I just don't want to) to keep him from going there.

[Fear Itself]

Originally Posted by Vinyl Turnip

And fuck getting rid of the pool. Why should everyone suffer because a few mouth-breathers refuse to keep a leash on their brats?

Because people can and do win lawsuits against homeowner associations when their children drown in swimming pools. You may wish they didn't, but that won't change the facts. Take measures to prevent drownings, or suffer levies against owners to pay to settle lawsuits.

[billfish678]

Can we just drown the lawyers and relatives instead? And maybe a few judges?

[Tamerlane]

Originally Posted by SticksAndString

He insists on going nearly every single day and I honestly can't think of a good reason (other than I just don't want to) to keep him from going there.

Sounds like a fine reason to me . A compromise of every other day or something seems reasonable.

[LeeshaJoy]

I don't know about HOA pools, but most hotel swimming pools I've seen had a sign posted which read "No Lifeguard, Swim At Your Own Risk" (or words to that effect). Would that be sufficient for legal ass-covering?

[Thudlow Boink]

Originally Posted by LeeshaJoy

I don't know about HOA pools, but most hotel swimming pools I've seen had a sign posted which read "No Lifeguard, Swim At Your Own Risk" (or words to that effect). Would that be sufficient for legal ass-covering?

I think most hotel pools also post rules against children swimming unsupervised, too.

[Vinyl Turnip]

Clearly we must fill them all in with cement, and then cover them with latex-free cushioned mats lest an unsupervised child with a learning disability bash his or her tiny face on the floor.

[SticksAndString]

Originally Posted by LeeshaJoy

I don't know about HOA pools, but most hotel swimming pools I've seen had a sign posted which read "No Lifeguard, Swim At Your Own Risk" (or words to that effect). Would that be sufficient for legal ass-covering?

We do have several signs that say "NO Lifeguard--No Smoking--No Alcohol" in both English and Spanish. There is a locked windowbox (don't know what else to call it) with a corkboard that has a copy of the rules right inside the gate so you can't miss it.

I think most hotel pools also post rules against children swimming unsupervised, too.

They do, I'm sure. But it doesn't always appear to stop the little twerps. We took Slim to SeaWorld last summer and every night when we got back, the only thing we wanted to do was swim in the pool before we retired to our room. Both nights of the trip, the experience was made less enjoyable by hooligans running up and down the SLICK tile (I'm surprised nobody fell and got hurt) and the second night, Stickman nearly had to apply his emergency medical training when a 5 year old decided she wanted to do a cannonball into the "hot tub" (the water was barely lukewarm although it was designated as a hot tub by the signage) and bashed her head on the side.

Her mom WAS present..just not paying attention to anything but her margarita until her pweshush baby was injured.

[BubbaDog]

Originally Posted by Vinyl Turnip

I've never in my life seen an apartment complex pool with a lifeguard. [snip]

That's because it's hard to keep them. I was a lifeguard for an apartment complex when I was a freshman in college. Turns out that I was a actually a babysitter for all of the cheap parents who barely had control over their little turds. They would lock little Mungo out of the apartment at 8 am (the pool didn't open till 9 but the babysitter lifeguard showed up at 8:30) and not let the little turd in till 4:30. The pool had no restroom, water fountain, nor food; so the little shits got pretty cranky and were constantly sneaking behind the pump shed to piss and drink from the hose.

Multiply that situation by an average of 5 to 10 kids each day and that was my life. I got a little bit of supervision/help from some of the parents who would accompany their kids but I felt more like a daycare center than an actual lifeguard.

And there was one mega-brat about 13 years old who would ignore, challenge, curse me about everything. Of course I couldn't hit him. I could ban him from the pool but he would just ignore me, stay there, run, act up, and jump in the pool.

In desperation I finally gave up, jumped in after him, and "saved" him. I "saved" him on top of the pool, on the bottom of the pool and on all sides of the pool. I "saved" him for about five good minutes.

He ran out of there crying and came back with his very large father. The father asked me angrily if I was dunking his son in the water. I said, "No sir, your son acts up all the time and won't listen to me. I thought he was drowning so I saved him."

The father growled and said," Don't you ever dunk my kid again. If he acts up, do this!" And with that he smacked the kid upside his head with an open hand. After that, the kid was an Angel.

[billfish678]

Originally Posted by BubbaDog

The father growled and said," Don't you ever dunk my kid again. If he acts up, do this!" And with that he smacked the kid upside his head with an open hand. After that, the kid was an Angel.

And that kid grew up to be a NCIS "boss".

Paul Harvey: and now you know the rest of the story

[Cat Whisperer]

Originally Posted by Vinyl Turnip

Clearly we must fill them all in with cement, and then cover them with latex-free cushioned mats lest an unsupervised child with a learning disability bash his or her tiny face on the floor.

That seems reasonable (and by "reasonable" I mean, "Something that everyone has to put up with because there is a smallish percentage of idiots who simply can't comprehend that the rules apply to them, too").

[BubbaDog]

Originally Posted by billfish678

And that kid grew up to be a NCIS "boss".

Paul Harvey: and now you know the rest of the story

Actually, I think the kid's name was like Renuzzo, or Denoddo, or Dinozzo or something.

[TriPolar]

Originally Posted by Vinyl Turnip

And fuck getting rid of the pool. Why should everyone suffer because a few mouth-breathers refuse to keep a leash on their brats?

They shouldn't. It's a stupid system. But that's what it is. You assume the risk, assume the cost of reducing the risk, or get rid of the pool. Or change the fucked up litigation system. Whichever is easier.

[Omar Little]

I don't really understand what the OP upset about. The liability for any injury, would hardly come back to you. Think of it as "survival of the fittest". Any injury will cull the heard of one less dumb ass.

[Fear Itself]

Originally Posted by Omar Little

I don't really understand what the OP upset about. The liability for any injury, would hardly come back to you.

If the parents of a drowned child sue the homeowner's association, who is going to pay the settlement?

[DiosaBellissima]

Originally Posted by Omar Little

I don't really understand what the OP upset about. The liability for any injury, would hardly come back to you. Think of it as "survival of the fittest". Any injury will cull the heard of one less dumb ass.

I don't know, this thread has made it apparent that if some dipshit children hurt themselves because mommy is too busy not parenting to watch her kid that the only answer will be to close the pool. That would be pretty balls for the other responsible people in the HOA who pay fees to live somewhere with the convenience of a pool.

Originally Posted by Fear Itself

If the parents of a drowned child sue the homeowner's association, who is going to pay the settlement?

The insurance that the HOA has for cases like this. I suppose the insurance rate will go up, but it's not like the HOA would be paying a $100,000,000 settlement full on.

[billfish678]

Originally Posted by Fear Itself

If the parents of a drowned child sue the homeowner's association, who is going to pay the settlement?

Oh, they just write it off. It's like free money.

[Greg Charles]

I see the point, but there were about a million times I swam unsupervised by adults (not alone, just not with adults) before I was sixteen. I lived part of my childhood and teenage years in a condo, and I hated all the ageist anti-kid regulations.

[SticksAndString]

Originally Posted by Omar Little

I don't really understand what the OP upset about. The liability for any injury, would hardly come back to you. Think of it as "survival of the fittest". Any injury will cull the heard of one less dumb ass.

Each dues-paying household has a keycard and I know that they keep track of which keys get used and when. Other parents have expressed to me that they're afraid if a kid gets seriously hurt and/or killed while unsupervised at the pool then the parent will not only sue the HOA but also any adult who was in the pool area at the time of the incident. If you used your keycard that day and they petitioned to get that information from the HOA, then theoretically you or me or whoever could be sued simply for BEING THERE. It's a scary thought. I don't think that would ever happen, personally, but you never know. In this litigous society, anything is possible.

[JohnBckWLD]

Originally Posted by Vinyl Turnip

I've never in my life seen an apartment complex pool with a lifeguard...

It's state law in New York. And if your pH or chlorine levels stray 1 spec off of Dept of Health guidelines, the county fines are 4 figures.

[Omar Little]

Originally Posted by SticksAndString

Each dues-paying household has a keycard and I know that they keep track of which keys get used and when. Other parents have expressed to me that they're afraid if a kid gets seriously hurt and/or killed while unsupervised at the pool then the parent will not only sue the HOA but also any adult who was in the pool area at the time of the incident. If you used your keycard that day and they petitioned to get that information from the HOA, then theoretically you or me or whoever could be sued simply for BEING THERE. It's a scary thought. I don't think that would ever happen, personally, but you never know. In this litigous society, anything is possible.

That's a pretty silly argument. The parent that didn't supervise their own child, which you say is a rule of the HOA, would have a hard time coming up with sufficient grounds for suing other parents that were present when an accident occured. And even if it did happen, turn it over to your homeowner's insurance and let them deal with it.

Still a weak pitting. What next? Pitting the soda companies for making sugary drinks that make too many Americans fat?

[Maus Magill]

Originally Posted by BubbaDog

That's because it's hard to keep them. I was a lifeguard for an apartment complex when I was a freshman in college. Turns out that I was a actually a babysitter for all of the cheap parents who barely had control over their little turds. They would lock little Mungo out of the apartment at 8 am (the pool didn't open till 9 but the babysitter lifeguard showed up at 8:30) and not let the little turd in till 4:30. The pool had no restroom, water fountain, nor food; so the little shits got pretty cranky and were constantly sneaking behind the pump shed to piss and drink from the hose.

Multiply that situation by an average of 5 to 10 kids each day and that was my life. I got a little bit of supervision/help from some of the parents who would accompany their kids but I felt more like a daycare center than an actual lifeguard.

This. I was a life guard for several years at a neighborhood swim club. If I had a dollar for every kid who was dropped off at 8:00 (we opened at 9:00)... Pools are not day cares, and life guards are not day care providers. If you're doing it right (not just getting a tan, and checking out the high school girls, life guarding can be a pretty stressful job.

[perfectparanoia]

We live in a similar setup (not an HOA but a townhouse condominium corporation with a shared pool and an age restriction to be unsupervised).

I am a loudmouthed bitch and know all the kids in the neighbourhood (and a great number of their parents) so I would just first ask the kid where their mom or dad was and remind them that they had to have them here to swim (or, if I knew the kid somewhat, I would walk over to their house with them and volunteer to be their adult if I was there with my kids anyway).

If that didn't work, I would walk to their house without them and explain the situation to the parents (just remind them of the rule, they might not have known, etc.).

If that didn't work, I would phone the executives of the corp (or the management site) to explain that kids (unnamed) were swimming in the pool unsupervised and that I was concerned.

If that didn't get the attention it deserved, I would rat them out by name to the corporation. They would remind them, in writing, of the rule and associate a fine with continuing to flaunt it.

But, again, I am a nosy bitch. Surprisingly, all the other parents love me because I keep their kids in line (and alive) a lot of the time (the park and pool are directly behind my house within eye and earshot).

(I also feed the neighbourhood snacks and meals and let them use the bathroom and get water out of the hose thus ensuring that they, and as a result my children, can have a good time playing outside together without needing to come in. I get a lot of housework done that way and my kids are learning all the things kids should like how to play stickball and climb trees.)

[SticksAndString]

Wow.

That's awesome.

[perfectparanoia]

Originally Posted by SticksAndString

Wow.

That's awesome.

<wonders if that is sarcasm>

I am like the neighbourhood mom. You don't mess with me but can depend on me.

[Damuri Ajashi]

Originally Posted by SticksAndString

It's that time of year again.

Dear parents,

for the love of crap, please please please please PLEASE do not send your underage minor children to the pool. Aside from the fact that it's against the rules (they have to be 16 to be unsupervised in the pool area), I think they put something in the pool water to make preteen boys become idiots the minute it touches their skin. Because I swear preeteen boys+cute girls to show off for+ pool=they're suddenly stupid.

If one of their stupid stunts (like taking a running start so they can hit the edge of the pool and do a flying twist leap thing) causes them to get injured EVERY SINGLE ADULT in the pool area will probably be held responsible and as one of those adults, I don't want that responsability. AND they'd probably raise our HOA dues to pay for a lifeguard. All because you couldn't be arsed to come down and keep at least half an eye on your kids.

Biting my lip so hard it's bruised,

Stick

You don't need a lifeguard (this will only encourage these sort of parents to use the pool as a day care center on an even MORe consistent basis). You need to hire a college student that is home for the summer to enforce rules (no glass containers, no unsupervised kids, shit like that).

[SticksAndString]

perfect paranoia--I assure you it was not sarcasm but straight up wonder. Because I honestly cannot say I know one person who would do that these days.

damuri--no because then the college student would be too focused on scamming on their gender of choice and texting/using the phone/not paying attention, esp if they're not getting paid (which I doubt the HOA would do seeing as they are cheap as fuck).

Also, people, I realize that we have a "porter" service that is supposed to come pick up crap and take out the trash at least 3 times a week, but that's no excuse for leaving shirts, shorts, underwear, shoes, socks, broken toys, broken goggles, coke bottles, pizza boxes and various other assorted crap every place. Would it kill you to pick up after yourselves?

[SticksAndString]

Ugh. I'd start a seperate thread for pitting the security guard our HOA has hired, but technically it's only her third day of work.

Dear bollock-faced teenaged boys,
You DO realize the pool's 'shelf' (I dunno what else to call it..it's a half-circle platform on one side of the pool) is for sitting on and sunning yourself, not for practicing your MMA moves on one another? I asked you once to stop wrestling/roughhousing and you ignored me. More than once you nearly bashed your thick heads on the platform or the side of the pool and I bit my lip till it was like to bleed. We ended up leaving because you were making me so darned nervous. I really hope nobody got hurt with all your roughhousing. I'm betting though it will take somebody cracking a skull before you get the point when I (and other people) ask you to knock it the heck off.

Dear foulmouthed boy,
While I have no objection to foul language in general, I do have a problem with it when my son is present because he picks up language like a parrot. The last thing I want to have to do right now is explain to him WHY we can't say certain words.

Also...I really hope that when you do get around to procreating, you and your wife aren't stupid enough to name your kid the eff word.

[Jeep's Phoenix]

Originally Posted by blondebear

Hey at least you don't have ducks in the pool like we do. Kids, generally speaking, don't leave piles of black goo on the bottom when they're done frolicking in the water.

Eh, at least duck droppings sink. My neighborhood's pool had a full-blown Code Brown last year that resulted in the pool being closed for 48 hours. That, combined with a semi-humorous article regarding children's hygiene that ran in the local paper at roughly the same time, have led me to avoid the pool.

[SticksAndString]

On Sunday, the HOA board decided to have a Memorial Day party and somebody scrawled "I'm Beautiful!" in the womens restroom.

It's not unusual, however, for the pool to be vandalized. We've had people rip pickets off the iron fence, vandalize the bathrooms, vandalize the chairs/tables we have set up, all kinds of stupid crap.

Getting a security guard was supposed to stop all that and while it has LESSENED since we started having a security guard part time (2-9 pm M-F, 12-9 pm Sat and Sun), it hasn't gone away entirely. I've asked before why couldn't we get a camera so we can see exactly which dipwads are doing the damage and I was told it was "too expensive".

[Sigmagirl]

Originally Posted by SticksAndString

You DO realize the pool's 'shelf' (I dunno what else to call it..it's a half-circle platform on one side of the pool)

Our pool officially calls it the apron, in the rulebook.

[SticksAndString]

I knew there was a technical term for it, I just didn't know what it was.