A follow-up to this CS thread, which was about comic book origins. Wasn’t sure where to post this one.
The morning after a one-night stand, a man walks into the bathroom and finds “YOU’RE A LOUSY LAY” written on the mirror in lipstick. He never sees the woman again.
A woman gets separated from her daughter, who has long, blond hair, in a department store. A few minutes later, she sees a person leaving the store with a child of about the same size and weight, but with short, badly-cut dark hair. It was a different kid. Hers was playing hide-and-seek in the clothing racks.
Did you hear about the woman who found dead bird parts in her KFC bucket?
There is documented evidence that human beings have actually walked on the Moon.
Barrack Obama was not born in the continental United States.
There are rats living in the sewers.
A family vacationing in Mexico started feeding a small dog they found on the street. It got sick when they took it home as a souvenir. When the vet examined it, he said “Your chihuahua will be fine with some antibiotics.”
A woman was driving by herself in a remote area at night; she stopped at an old gas station to re-fuel her car. After she finished, the attendant seemed to be trying to get her attention, but something about the man made her nervous and she quickly drove off. A mile or so down the road, her “check engine” light came on; she pulled over, and realized the gas station attendant had been trying to let her know that she hadn’t put her gas cap back on properly.
Mitt Romney’s father was a Mexican.
Just the other day I drank a bottle of Coke. It tasted fine.
A friend of a good friend of mine was driving along a dark, deserted stretch of county road in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula and picked up a young woman who was hitch hiking. She said she was just going up the road a few miles. Shortly, she signalled him to stop-- at a country cemetery. He pulled over, turned to say goodbye, but she had vanished.
He drove on until he reached a gas station. After filling up he related the ghostly event to the guy at the counter, who told him, “Oh ya, that’d be Mary Yoder. Crazy. She likes to play tricks like that on gullible idiots.”
The child actor who played “Mikey” in the famous commercials for LIFE cereal (“Let’s get Mikey to try it–he hates everything.” “He likes it! Hey, Mikey!”) grew up to become an advertising-account manager for a New York radio station.
Did you hear about the woman who called the service department to complain that when she tried to dry her dog in the microwave, it wouldn’t fit?
A man once dumped his wife to run off with his secretary; he wrote back to his wife and asked her to sell his Porsche and send him the money, because he needed cash. She wrote back and told him to sell his own damn car.
FEMA (the Federal Emergency Management Agency, established during the Carter Administration and now part of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security) maintains teams of medical personnel as well as trucks outfitted with portable communications gear and electrical generators which can be deployed in the event of an emergency (such as a natural disaster or terrorist attack). Other FEMA teams are trained and equipped to rescue victims trapped in building collapses (such as might happen after an earthquake or a mine collapse).
If you’re driving after dusk and see an oncoming car whose driver has forgotten to turn on his headlights, it’s considered courteous to quickly flash your highbeams or turn your own headlights off and then on again in order to let the other driver know of his oversight so he can correct it.
And when they got back from their rendevous at a populer lover’s lane, he opened the car-door for her, and there was nothing amiss with the handle!
There was a woman who bought a dress from a thrift store that smelled a bit funny. She returned it to the store the next day.
A small white woman got on an elevator with a big black man and a pit bull at the back. She nervously avoided eye contact and stayed at the front. The door closed and silently the elevator started going down.
“Sit!” a voice from behind her suddenly commanded. The woman spun around. “Say, you’re Denzel Washington. I recognize your voice.”
“That’s right, ma’am.” She got his autograph and a good story to tell her friends, who told other friends, who told other friends–and eventually it had her marrying Denzel and living happily ever after.
Two kids turned off the light in the bathroom and chanted “Bloody Mary” three times while looking into the mirror. A woman jumped out of their shower and scared them half to death! Their mom is such a trickster.
I got an email telling me that if I did not forward it to thirty other people, a child’s ghost would appear in my ceiling and kill me tonight. I deleted the email and went to bed. The next morning, I woke up and watched some TV.
I knew a guy whose college roommate committed suicide. He was quite shaken, but with a little counselling, and a different dorm room, managed to finish the semester, and write his exams. He ended up with a 2.5 GPA–a little less than he might have done otherwise, but his courses that semester were rather difficult.