Cannibal in South Beach - Someone buy this dude a Big Mac

[aceplace57]

Only in America.

The officer, who has not been identified, approached and saw that the naked man was actually chewing the other man’s head, according to witnesses. The officer ordered the naked man to back away, and when he continued the assault, the officer shot him. The attacker continued to eat the man, despite being shot, forcing the officer to continue firing. Witnesses said they heard at least a half dozen shots.
<snip>
The other man was transported to the hospital with critical injuries, according to police. Their identities were not released.

The incident, which came as crowds descended upon South Beach for the annual Urban Beach Week hip-hop festival, snarled traffic on the causeway for several hours.

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/cr...s-2377343.html

One man was shot to death by Miami police, and another man is fighting for his life after he was attacked, and his face allegedly half eaten, by a naked man on the MacArthur Causeway off ramp Saturday, police said.

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/2...#storylink=cpy

[Xan]

Originally Posted by aceplace57

Only in America.


http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/cr...s-2377343.html

I think this is how the Zombie Apocalypse starts.

The officer ordered the naked man to back away, and when he continued the assault, the officer shot him.
The attacker continued to eat the man, despite being shot, forcing the officer to continue firing. Witnesses said they heard at least a half dozen shots.

[runner pat]

"Land Shark"

[Sunspace]

It will probably come out that the other man's name was Mac.

[Digital is the new Analog]

It's times like this that I'm so proud to live in South Florida.

Oddly, the headlines I've happen to see just focus on the guy being naked. I had no idea he was trying to eat the other guy until I read this thread. We have so many nutty headlines here that I don't bother reading the articles anymore.


-D/a

[Rigamarole]

Big Mac? I was thinking he'd prefer some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

[limegreen]

I would not be volunteering to be the eatee's nurse. You know he's going to turn any minute. He should be double-tapped immediately.

[drastic_quench]

Keep your ugly fuckin' goldbrickin' ass out of my beach community.

[billfish678]

Come on. No South Beach diet jokes yet? You guy's are getting slow in your old age. And man, you gotta be sure THIS scenario wasn't in the police manual.

[cochrane]

This only goes to prove you should be careful who you say "Bite me!" to.

[drewtwo99]

This IS the zombie apocalypse!

[picker]

We need to face this problem head on.

[SnakesCatLady]

I'm sure the South Beach community will try to put a good face on it.

[aceplace57]

Some vidcaps from the surveillance video. Mostly just legs of the two naked guys. Nothing bloody or gross
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ting-life.html

I can't imagine what this guy was hopped up on. Zombie indeed. They shot this guy multiple times and he just keeps eating away at the victim's face.

Add in all the young people driving in for the Urban Beach Week Hip Hop festival (Zombie victims). Somebody has to make this movie.

[Leaper]

Originally Posted by aceplace57

Only in America.

Wasn't that guy in the news a few years back looking for a sexual, cannibalistic relationship in Germany?

[cochrane]

A man walked up to me on the street today and said he hadn't had a bite for days. So I bit him.

[fifty-six]

Big Macs are made out of people/brains?

[Ranchoth]

Luckily, there is a contingency plan for just this kind of incident.

[billfish678]

Originally Posted by fifty-six

Big Macs are made out of people/brains?

Of course not. Don't be stupid. But if the economy keeps a tanking and the obesity epidemic keeps a growing...

[runner pat]

Originally Posted by fifty-six

Big Macs are made out of people/brains?

Originally Posted by billfish678

Of course not. Don't be stupid. But if the economy keeps a tanking and the obesity epidemic keeps a growing...

McSoylent?

[Malthus]

Originally Posted by cochrane

This only goes to prove you should be careful who you say "Bite me!" to.

You just might end up losing face?

[neuroman]

Nicholas Cage and John Travolta could not be reached for comment.

SPOILER:

You wanna take his face--

Yes. Take his face off.

[Love Rhombus]

Apparently they did try shooting him, but he just growled at them and kept eating. That freaks me out. Also that the victim's eyeballs were gone.

[fifty-six]

I guess don't understand how Big Macs deter zombies?

[ExTank]

Originally Posted by fifty-six

I guess don't understand how Big Macs deter zombies?

Little, if any, meat content.

[aceplace57]

The attacker has been identified. Victim's name withheld while they notify kin.
http://www.local10.com/news/News/Wit...z/-/index.html

[AaronX]

Just saw this in the paper. Why didn't the victim fight back?

[PlainJain]

Originally Posted by runner pat

McSoylent?

Close... Soylent McGreen.

[shijinn]

Originally Posted by Love Rhombus

Apparently they did try shooting him, but he just growled at them and kept eating. That freaks me out. Also that the victim's eyeballs were gone.

so the documentaries got it all wrong. a zombie would not abandon a kill to chase after you. good to know.

[Moonlitherial]

I heard on the news this morning that the police are claiming a "bad batch of acid" has hit the streets of Miami. They say that it causes the body temperature to rise so high that the users feel the need to strip and that it messes up your brain so much you do things like try and eat your buddy's face.

I still say they're trying to keep the population calm while they try and stop the zombie apocalypse.

[Ranchoth]

Originally Posted by Moonlitherial

I still say they're trying to keep the population calm while they try and stop the zombie apocalypse.

Ha! In this day and age, in this economy, in the south? The beginnings of a zombie outbreak would cause a bigger tourist boom than a confirmed bigfoot capture.

If anything, they'd just be delaying the official announcement until they can get the special hunting licenses prepared and the hotels staffed up.

[neuroman]

Originally Posted by aceplace57

The attacker has been identified. Victim's name withheld while they notify kin.
http://www.local10.com/news/News/Wit...z/-/index.html

"I wouldn't say he had mental problems..." said the suspect's ex-wife.

Sugar, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and speculate that people without severe mental illness do NOT go out and chew people's faces off, no matter what drugs they're on.

Originally Posted by Moonlitherial

I heard on the news this morning that the police are claiming a "bad batch of acid" has hit the streets of Miami. They say that it causes the body temperature to rise so high that the users feel the need to strip and that it messes up your brain so much you do things like try and eat your buddy's face.

Ahh, yes. I remember the early 70s when a rash of bad acid caused twelve face-chewing deaths in San Francisco in a matter of months.

In all seriousness, I could believe this homeless guy was on acid, though it sounds more like PCP. Either way, I'm sure he was completely mentally fucked well before he took whatever drug(s) that he did.

[drastic_quench]

I would guess the drug was very likely sherm. If not, then perhaps bath salts.

[Wile E]

Originally Posted by Rigamarole

Big Mac? I was thinking he'd prefer some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

No, not with face. Pinot Grigio and haricot vert go better with face.

[Savannah]

If you come across a link to the picture of the victim, do not click on it. You will be much better off without that image in your mind.

[billfish678]

Originally Posted by Wile E

No, not with face. Pinot Grigio and haricot vert go better with face.

PBR goes well with ass. Add some saltine crackers if you wanna get all fancy and shit.

[Lumpy]

This is why, back around the time PCP first hit the streets, that the cops decided that the venerable .38 Special revolver just wasn't enough gun.

[drastic_quench]

I think this had more to do with it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1986_FBI_Miami_shootout

[aceplace57]

There were reports of a fight. Not many details. I'd imagine the victim didn't have much of a chance. Zombie guy took quite a few bullets before he finally went down. He was growling and chewing that guys face the whole time.

Guys on drugs can have amazing strength and resistance to pain. It takes more than fists to stop them.

Originally Posted by AaronX

Just saw this in the paper. Why didn't the victim fight back?

[runner pat]

Originally Posted by drastic_quench

I think this had more to do with it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1986_FBI_Miami_shootout

Little bit earlier than that.

.357 Magnum.

The .357 Magnum was collaboratively developed over a period in the early to mid-1930s by a group of individuals in a direct response to Colt's .38 Super Automatic. At the time, the .38 Super was the only American pistol cartridge capable of defeating automobile cover and the early ballistic vests that were just beginning to emerge in the post-World War I "Gangster Era."[6] Tests at the time revealed that those vests defeated any handgun cartridge traveling at less than about 1000 ft/s. Colt's .38 Super Automatic just edged over that velocity and was able to penetrate car doors and vests that bootleggers and gangsters were employing as cover.

[aceplace57]

Victim is Ronald Poppo, a 65-year-old homeless man. Been on the streets since the 70's.
http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/ripti...ting_victi.php

Poppo, described by police as homeless, also had a lengthy criminal record, and once had charges dismissed after pleading insanity.

According to a lien filed by Dade County in 1976, Poppo was admitted to Jackson Memorial Hospital on January 14. Poppo was shot at the Bayfront Park bandshell by an unidentified "John Doe." His injuries were serious enough that Poppo spent five days in the hospital, and his ultimate hospital bill came to $1,406.05.

At the time Poppo was also homeless and listed his address as the Salvation Army at 905 W Flagler Street.

Poppo, 65, also has a long list of criminal charges that date back in Miami-Dade as far as 1978.

[pulykamell]

Originally Posted by Savannah

If you come across a link to the picture of the victim, do not click on it. You will be much better off without that image in your mind.

Ho. Lee. Crap. How is somebody in that shape even alive? Wow.

[Guinastasia]

Originally Posted by Savannah

If you come across a link to the picture of the victim, do not click on it. You will be much better off without that image in your mind.

Why, oh WHY didn't I listen?

[Broomstick]

I confess to a gruesome curiosity, but I am trying very hard to resist temptation.

[westsidejay]

Good times on A1A.

The nude homeless guy was confused because he just heard that the market took a huge bite out of many people's facebook investments. He thought they said FACEBOOK

RESTAURANTS. Thank you!!

[Lumpy]

Originally Posted by Broomstick

I confess to a gruesome curiosity, but I am trying very hard to resist temptation.

I Google Imaged Ronald Poppo; it's bad but imho the woman who got maimed by the chimpanzee was worse.

[Broomstick]

Hmm... yeah, maybe I've just seen enough gore that that wasn't the worst I've seen. Yes, Charla Nash was pretty damn awful. So was that young Indian girl who had her face and scalp ripped off by farm machinery (that case had a happy outcome - they were able to put everything back on. You can tell she's been in a terrible accident but she's not hideous, just has some nasty scars, and her face is fully functional).

It does resemble chimp attack injuries more than the usual human-on-human assault, though.

[Beware of Doug]

Originally Posted by aceplace57

Victim is Ronald Poppo, a 65-year-old homeless man. Been on the streets since the 70's.
http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/ripti...ting_victi.php

You gotta be crazy hungry to get past the flavor of homeless guy face.

[aceplace57]

The chimp attack lady got a face transplant. It came out pretty well for her. She's not exactly the same as before the injury. But she looks a lot better than I would have expected. She also had both hands mangled & amputated in the chimp attack. Last I heard the hand transplant they tried failed.

[drastic_quench]

Originally Posted by Beware of Doug

You gotta be crazy hungry to get past the flavor of homeless guy face.

See, I think it'd be like beef jerky -- with a jelly doughnut center.