I pit chewing on people's faces

[Try2B_Comprehensive]

The latest out of Miami:

A witness says a naked man chewing on the face of another naked man on a downtown highway ramp kept eating and growled at a police officer who tried to make him stop.

“The guy was, like, tearing him to pieces with his mouth, so I told him, `Get off!'” Vega said. “The guy just kept eating the other guy away, like, ripping his skin.”

Vega flagged down a Miami police officer, who he said repeatedly ordered the attacker to get off the victim. The attacker just picked his head up and growled at the officer, Vega said.

As the attack continued, Vega said the officer shot the attacker, who continued chewing the victim’s face. The officer fired again, killing the attacker.

I can have some strong opinions sometimes, but in most cases I am pretty leery about taking them so far as to tell other people what they should and should not do. How do I know I am right? Aren’t there usually two sides to every story? Shouldn’t I walk a mile in their shoes? You get the idea.

But when it comes to chewing on other people’s faces, I feel confident declaring, “You should definitely not do that.” Especially after you’ve been shot once already in an attempt to stop you. When the police shoot you to get you to cease and desist, IMHO you really should do exactly that, especially if they’re trying to stop you from eating someone’s face. ‘Gauche’ isn’t the right word. ‘Depraved’ is better, but I’m still at a loss as to what word to use to describe this.

Let’s leave the zombie behavior to zombie movies if that’s okay with everyone else.

[Rhythmdvl]

Bite me, you cannibalist!

[Covered_In_Bees]

So was the victim unconscious or already dead or what? Seems like chewing on someone’s face would be awfully difficult if they’re awake.

[running_coach]

The victim was just giving head.

[Llama_Llogophile]

@Try2B_Comprehensive

But when it comes to chewing on other people’s faces, I feel confident declaring, “You should definitely not do that.”

I’m willing to turn the other cheek.

[Czarcasm]

I think dietary restrictions are o.k. if prescribed by your family doctor or if it’s a part of your personal religious beliefs, but applying them to everybody smacks of Big Brother to me.

[BlankSlate]

Perfectly legal, he was just standing his ground.

[Sr_Siete]

You and your political correctness gone mad. You want the world to become a nanny state. Shame on you.

[Try2B_Comprehensive]

@Covered_In_Bees

So was the victim unconscious or already dead or what? Seems like chewing on someone’s face would be awfully difficult if they’re awake.

The authorities are not releasing much, but this bit suggests the other guy was at least unconscious:

The victim was taken to Jackson Memorial Hospital. A spokeswoman said Monday that the hospital would not be releasing any information about him.

A surveillance video camera from The Miami Herald building nearby captured images of the men’s naked legs lying side by side after the shooting.

Vega said the victim appeared gravely injured.

“It was just a blob of blood,” Vega said. “You couldn’t really see, it was just blood all over the place.”

Was he dead though? How much does a person bleed after they are dead?

Anyway, I see the comments and respect everyone on the board, but I still think this is totally inappropriate.

[Frodo]

I hope the tireless work of noted documentary film maker George Romero has been successful and the cops quickly shot the victim too, in the head, to stop the outbreak right there…

[Covered_In_Bees]

Meh. You’re just a prude. You probably haven’t even tried eating someone’s face. How can you know you dislike it if you haven’t tried it? Huh, huh?

[Chimera]

Just checking, but has any other news come out of Miami lately? Or is the city strangely quiet?

[Frodo]

way to lose face there…

[Try2B_Comprehensive]

@Covered_In_Bees

Meh. You’re just a prude. You probably haven’t even tried eating someone’s face. How can you know you dislike it if you haven’t tried it? Huh, huh?

Ever hear a vegetarian say, “Never eat anything with a face”? Well I am no vegetarian but I am pretty serious about, “Never eat a person’s face.” If that means you think I’m a prude, too bad. I don’t know, I mean maybe I am a little repressed or something really, but I still am not persuaded that eating someone’s face (alive OR dead) is ok.

[Frodo]

(makes an appointment to resurrect this thread in a couple of years, if the zombie Apocalypse hasn’t shut down the internet)

[Sudden_Kestrel]

That story made my skin crawl.

[Kolga]

And so the apocalypse begins.

[voltaire]

Cocaine, it’s a helluva drug!

[Lobohan]

“Got your nose!” —Miami Face Cannibal

[Slithy_Tove]

If only there had been the same police response the night Slyvia Plath and Ted Hughes met and she bit his face, drawing blood. Think of the tons of self-indulgent, daddy-issue poetastery humanity might have been spared!