For Women: You know you're getting old when...

[tapu]

... your period has stopped but you've grown a mustache.


... your mouth starts to look like a drawstring purse.


... medical providers go from asking you the date of your last period to asking if you're still having one.

[LavenderBlue]

Your rear and your breasts are almost the same height.

[papergirl]

I've noticed my hands are starting to look like my mother's hands. I kind of like it so far.

And yes, the menopause thing--I had an ultrasound on my kidneys recently, and the tech asked if I was in menopause. I had no idea--I take continuous does birth control and haven't had a period in almost a year. I never even considered it, but I guess I should since I'm 48...

[Mrs. Cake]

You stop seeing your mother in the mirror and start seeing your grandmother.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by papergirl

And yes, the menopause thing--I had an ultrasound on my kidneys recently, and the tech asked if I was in menopause. I had no idea--I take continuous does birth control and haven't had a period in almost a year. I never even considered it, but I guess I should since I'm 48...

One way to tell is to notice if you're using the air conditioner in January.

[tapu]

Nice, people!



... you plan getting up from whatever position you're in.

[FairyChatMom]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Cake

You stop seeing your mother in the mirror and start seeing your grandmother.

What's scary about this is it happened to me when I was about 26, altho the grandmother I saw looking back was from a photo of her when she was young, so that's not too terrible, I guess.

As for me, the smack-upside-the-head sign of my aging was when I needed to get trifocals. And when I take them off, everything's a blur - I can't even watch TV without them any more.

Thanks to genetics, my hair still has no gray, and thanks to extra weight, I have few wrinkles. I do see lots of "age spots" on my arms, and sometimes my fingers are really stiff, but overall for a 58-y/o, I'm doing pretty well.

We won't talk about my memory...

[Senegoid]

. . . people stop telling you you're good looking, and instead tell you you're looking good.

[tapu]

Y'know... you are lookin' good these days.

[tapu]

... you say something like, Oh, I'm too old for that, ha ha.

And it is met with utter silence.

[evasgram]

My fat used to go to my boobs and behind, now it goes to my belly.

[JackieLikesVariety]

TV characters that used to look really old? not so much.

this morning I was working out and found My Three Sons on TV. Uncle Charlie was trying to get a date but the waitress at the coffee shop wasn't interested and I found myself thinking.... he doesn't look so bad...

[not what you'd expect]

You start buying underwear for comfort, not how cute they are.

[Becky2844]

While in the shower you start using hair conditioner on your pubic hair to make it feel soft again.

[Taomist]

You look at pictures of your mom when she was in her 20's and think "Oh my god she's such a girl right there!" and then realize you're more than twice her then-age.

(Actually I got a big hit of that when I reviewed pictures of my mom, with me at six months old. My mom was already back to a perfect sexy figure; so jealous! I don't even have kids and I didn't look that good! Go Mom!!)

[WhyNot]

Your knees start hurting for no reason.

I can handle my knees hurting because I tripped, or twisted funny, or fell, or ran too much or otherwise injured them. But when my left knee ached for a week this month for no reason whatsoever...yeah, I'm gettin' old.

[tapu]

... any little glitch at all and you think it's dementia.

[applebetty]

....ALL your body hair starts turning gray.

....your joints take turns hurting.

....you pray for menopause so this fertility cycle crap will finally just stop.

Some days I am so pissed that I have wrinkles and acne, am pre-menopausal and PMSing, and am half gray with an oily T zone.

[Hockey Monkey]

...you find your first gray eyebrow hair.

...you find your first gray pubic hair.

...you find your first gray mustache hair.

...you decide not to wear lipstick anymore because it feathers out into the fine lines around your lips.

...the back of your hands start to look like Sarah Jessica Parker's.

...when you kneel down, your husband laughs at you because your knees go off like a double-barreled shotgun. Kapow, Kapow!

[DianaG]

Originally Posted by evasgram

My fat used to go to my boobs and behind, now it goes to my belly.

This. So very this. No matter how my weight fluctuated, my proportions were always downright Betty Boop-ish, but these days I have to be very faithful about doing my core exercises and careful about what I'm eating, because every ounce of fat and water wants to wrap itself around my waist.

On the non-physical side, I've officially reached the point where everyone I meet reminds me of someone I already know. I've seen all the faces and met all the types. On the bright side, it's a time-saver.

[Lamia]

My dad was in the military, and I take advantage of some of the services (e.g. insurance through USAA) that cater to military families. Over the past 10-15 years I've seen a shift in the assumptions people make when faced with my insurance info, etc. They used to correctly assume that I was a dependent, then they started assuming I was in the service myself, and now they assume I'm a former servicewoman.

I'm not sure if that last one is based solely on my age or if it's also because I'm not in very good shape anymore, but either way it's depressing.

[Maastricht]

Originally Posted by LavenderBlue

Your rear and your breasts are almost the same height.

Not true. My rear and my breasts sag at about the same speed.

[Baker]

...when the rose you had tattooed on your breast is now long stemmed.

[Alice The Goon]

When "older men" are no longer in their 40s and 50s- now they're in their 60s and 70s. And you are no longer into "older men".

[Alice The Goon]

When you remember when it was considered in poor taste to go around with your bra straps showing.

[teela brown]

You realize that wearing pantyhose marks you as a dinosaur.

UTI's used to be the result of too much honeymoon activity or tight jeans; now they just come on for no reason at all.

[wonder9]

People front load a compliment with the words "You've still got...". As in, "You've still got great legs" or "You've still got great hair". Cause the rest of you...is not great.

[salinqmind]

When you were young, you'd laugh to see your grandma, in her recliner in front of the TV, dozing off late in the afternoon. Now, you only wish your recliner was as comfy as grandma's.

You go shoe shopping and notice that Dr. Scholl's actually has some not unattractive footwear!

Elastic waist on pants? Whyever did you think it was a bad thing???

[Hey Hey Paula]

You're watching several episodes of a TV show with your visiting 20 year old stepdaughter. The episodes feature a particularly attractive actor in his late 20's. Stepdaughter's reaction: "He's hot...I'd hit that." Your reaction: "Aww, he's adorable!"

[Curiosity Kills Her]

I can't believe the old lady arm wings haven't been mentioned yet!

[Hockey Monkey]

We do not speak of the batwings!

[Queen Tonya]

When you have to find a store on vacation and buy tweezers, because going a week without them just won't do.

[Lynn Bodoni]

It was when I watched Lynch's version of Dune. I thought that the actor who played Paul was cute, but the one who played Leto was more attractive to me.

[Mona Lisa Simpson]

Originally Posted by LavenderBlue

Your rear and your breasts are almost the same height.

I kid you not, I once had a person in my care whom we had to untuck her breasts from the high waisted adult briefs we put on her. She had a significant crying problem... like cried for hours on end, sometimes went days without stopping. Personally I would cry too if my nipples fell into my diaper.

[tapu]

Whoa, Mona, quite the buzzkill there! And we were all just flipping about batwings!

[olivesmarch4th]

Originally Posted by Hey Hey Paula

You're watching several episodes of a TV show with your visiting 20 year old stepdaughter. The episodes feature a particularly attractive actor in his late 20's. Stepdaughter's reaction: "He's hot...I'd hit that." Your reaction: "Aww, he's adorable!"

And its corollary. You introduce a teenage girl to the awesomeness of Doctor Who and when you ask, ''Isn't David Tennant dreamy?" the girl replies, ''No way. He's old!"

David Tennant.

[salinqmind]

Just for the heck of it, you check out a dating website for photos of men in your age group who might be a likely match for you.



(Not that they would be interested in someone as old as YOU.)

[teela brown]

Originally Posted by olivesmarch4th

And its corollary. You introduce a teenage girl to the awesomeness of Doctor Who and when you ask, ''Isn't David Tennant dreamy?" the girl replies, ''No way. He's old!"

David Tennant.

Ooh, that reminds me. I was at the hairdresser's a couple of weeks ago, and asked if she had caught the series Sherlock. She hadn't, so I called up an image of Benedict Cumberbatch on my iPhone, thinking she might think he was hot too. She looked and said, "Oh, yeah, I know about him - my mom thinks he's good-looking." Hairdresser is about 35.

She then called up an image of who she and the other hairdressers were aching for at the moment: Tatum somebody-or-other. She showed me the image and I thought he looked like a greasy thugpunk.

Sigh. And here I thought Cumberbatch was the young woman's heartthrob of the moment. Apparently he only appeals to us crones.

[jeepus]

Your new doctor's assistant asks if you are on any medication, and when you say "No," she's impressed and compliments you on not having to take any daily pills. Yet.

[Curiosity Kills Her]

Originally Posted by Hockey Monkey

We do not speak of the batwings!

Well I am glad to know 'batwings' is common vernacular. I didn't use that term because I thought I was the only one that referred to them as such.

Lately I've been speaking of the batwings a lot.

[stands in front of mirror, holds up arm, shakes it. *jiggle*flap*flap*jiggle*]

[salinqmind]

We here call them 'bingo wings'. (Raises arm, waves it wildly when declaring "bingo!')

[tapu]

LOL -- I have to tell my aunts that next time I visit them at BINGO!

[picunurse]

You can draw a straight line between your nipples and your navel.

[missred]

For me, it was when I began to look at every pair of shoes that I buy more for comfort than fashion.

[wonder9]

Originally Posted by teela brown

She then called up an image of who she and the other hairdressers were aching for at the moment: Tatum somebody-or-other. She showed me the image and I thought he looked like a greasy thugpunk.

Gotta disagree with ya there. I'm assuming she was talking about Channing Tatum and

HE IS FANTASTIC!

Incredibly hot, great dancer, pretty good actor (funny, too). Yeah, I'm with your hairdresser. I had no idea who the guy you were talking about was.

[Anaamika]

Originally Posted by teela brown

Ooh, that reminds me. I was at the hairdresser's a couple of weeks ago, and asked if she had caught the series Sherlock. She hadn't, so I called up an image of Benedict Cumberbatch on my iPhone, thinking she might think he was hot too. She looked and said, "Oh, yeah, I know about him - my mom thinks he's good-looking." Hairdresser is about 35.

She then called up an image of who she and the other hairdressers were aching for at the moment: Tatum somebody-or-other. She showed me the image and I thought he looked like a greasy thugpunk.

Sigh. And here I thought Cumberbatch was the young woman's heartthrob of the moment. Apparently he only appeals to us crones.

I'm 36, and I adore him. I think she's crazy.

[purplehorseshoe]

Originally Posted by FairyChatMom

... We won't talk about my memory...

Why? Forgot what you were going to say?

[Inner Stickler]

Originally Posted by Anaamika

I'm 36, and I adore him. I think she's crazy.

I'm 23 and I'm pretty sure if Benedict Cumberbatch winked at me, my pants would undo themselves.

[Vita Beata]

Originally Posted by missred

For me, it was when I began to look at every pair of shoes that I buy more for comfort than fashion.

Yes! Daughter ran off with my nice heeled boots saying, "Mom, you don't even wear heels any more." ...sniffs...

[Parenchyma]

This gif of Sherlock taking his scarf off (with optimal display of curls, cheekbones, and neck) was on the office computer of the place I worked last week. All middle-aged women, and whenever there wasn't an invoice on the screen, we enjoyed the eye candy.

Although they originally found it posted on a college girl's tumblr.