Story here
I’m almost more aggravated at the victim than the predator who terrorized him. The kids *parents *were asking him to involve the police re their child’s behavior and he demurred. This demented kid stalked this man for three years. This needs to be on record somewhere, because this young psychopath will strike again.
That kid learned jack squat.
Though I’m impressed by his generosity of spirit, I also think he’s an idiot. I reread it just to make sure his only condition was the kid go to counseling. Screw that. If I wanted to avoid “ruining the future” of someone who terrorized me for years for the (pretty big if there), I’d want to see some actual acts of atonement rather than just chatting with a counselor.
Did the kid apologize to the wife, at least?
I hope the man is right that the kid is good at heart. I’m cynical enough to fear that he might be a manipulative bastard or worse, borderline personality…but I hope I’m wrong. And, let’s face it, if he is a borderline, then there’s actually very little that can be done to fix him.
I guess I’m glad the guy chose the generous route. I know I live a happier life assuming people are basically good, even if that means the occasional disappointment from someone who isn’t.
And if he is an actual psychopath, all counseling will do is teach him how to better manipulate and fool people and not get caught next time. Because there will be a next time.
The kid learned that if you burst into tears and say I’m sorry, I didnt really mean to make your life hell- it just might work. I do think that the kid needs counseling, but hell, if the parents are urging stronger action, maybe you should listen to them? They do know the kid better than you do.
The kid started doing this stuff to the blogger when he was fourteen. He’s a psycho. His parents encouraged use of the authorities because they know he’s nuts. This blogger dude might be a nice guy, and that’s what made him a great target for three years. I’m sure while this kid might drop the harassment (while he still has the blogger’s address which is terrifying) of this one person, he’s got a list of others he’s still actively trolling. If the blogger did what the kid’s parents encouraged him to do, the police would have been able to find the list of other people. Nice going.
Maybe foolish, but what is this victim’s failure? To protect other victims from the same offender? I don’t see how that is his responsibility.
Actually, having worked in mental health, I would be more optimistic if the kid was a borderline. Borderlines can get better with a special kind of counseling called DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) and also tend to “mellow out” as they get older.
Antisocials really can’t be fixed, though. Counseling does NOT help them and may make things worse. You can’t teach empathy to an antisocial.
The extent of this kid’s horrible behavior does seem to me to go beyond normal kid hijinks and suggest that he really is antisocial. I don’t think most kids with any normal level of empathy would terrorize people in such a relentless and cruel way.
Based on
if I had been the guy this thread would have been
Doper shoots friend’s kid who was threatening him. Pre-emptive self defense?
Wow. The “victim” is a complete douche. They finally had to make laws that allowed law enforcement to step in on behalf of battered spouses EVEN WHEN THE SPOUSE OBJECTED. Clearly they need to do that with internet trolls as well. Too bad the parents can’t take that evidence to the police and have their son prosecuted on behalf of the victim.
There is no way I would ever let a troll get off. It seems like most of the comments are saying the same thing.
Why Borderline Personality Disorder? Sounds like a psychopath/sociopath.
Slightly off topic(only ever so), but the shrink industry really needs to choose which “______path” word they’re going to use and stick with it.
If my kid did something like this I’d be her worst fucking nightmare. Her victim would have to settle for leftovers.
Forgiveness is great – this man is a better person than most – but you can forgive and still lay the smack down, which he should have done.
you don’t give up a game with no downsides or repercussions - you get better at it.
For a Jew he was certainly a very good Christian.
I think he handled it fine. The parents of the boy must start acting like parents. The police are not to be that boy’s parents. They need to watch what he does and modify his behavior.
One of the commenters compared the guy to Neville Chamberlain. Good call.
I hope his parents do for this kid what the idiot blogger didn’t. Seriously, this kid is a psychopath. It’s not about forgiveness. You can forgive someone and still make sure they take responsibility for what they did.
That kid is fucking dangerous.
It’s my understanding that in criminal cases, the victim doesn’t actually have a say in whether the criminal gets prosecuted; that’s up to the DA because the cases aren’t civil, it’s not the victim as plaintiff, it’s the state vs. the defendant. At least, it’s my understanding that it’s that way in the United States. Am I mistaken on this, or is it a different matter in Ireland?
'Cause it was late and I got my best friend’s diagnosis mixed up with my brother’s diagnosis in my head. :smack: Yes, antisocial personality disorder is the one I meant. Scary stuff.
Sorry for sowing confusion.
:dubious: First of all, what?
Second, the guy committed criminal acts, so no, the police aren’t supposed to be his parents, the police deal with criminals. And that teen, fucked-up enough to be that utterly uncaring about some other human beings as to terrorize them for years, committed criminal acts.
It’s not like he’d have to do the heavy lifting himself.
And really, we’re all on the same side in this regard: Traynor disagrees that his chosen method will be ineffective, not whether we should try to nip this in the bud at all.