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Old 06-03-2013, 03:07 PM
Whitney Harper is offline
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How often should adult children visit elderly parents?


I know of someone who lives within 20 minutes driving time of her aging parents, and she visits them only about 3 times a year (holidays), and calls them about once every 2 months. She never offers them any help whatsoever. Her days are wide-open, and she clearly has the time. I think this is terrible. My opinion is that if an adult sibling lives near their aging parents, that the adult sibling should visit their parents at a minimum of once a month, preferably more. Personally, I would say once a week, or every two weeks would be second best. I might add that she does accept money from them, in other words, she takes, but she does not give back. Would like to hear opinions on this subject!
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Old 06-03-2013, 03:16 PM
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I know of someone who lives within 20 minutes driving time of her aging parents, and she visits them only about 3 times a year (holidays), and calls them about once every 2 months. She never offers them any help whatsoever. Her days are wide-open, and she clearly has the time. I think this is terrible. My opinion is that if an adult sibling lives near their aging parents, that the adult sibling should visit their parents at a minimum of once a month, preferably more. Personally, I would say once a week, or every two weeks would be second best. I might add that she does accept money from them, in other words, she takes, but she does not give back. Would like to hear opinions on this subject!
I live 15-20 minutes from my day, whom I love but do not like. I see him at least once a week.
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Old 06-03-2013, 03:38 PM
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This is way too open-ended a question to be resolvable by debate; I think it's gonna wind up in IMHO.

Every parent-child relationship is different, and I don't see how we can prescribe a general rule for how often the average adult child should visit their parents.

"As often as is acceptable to all the parties concerned" would be the generic answer, followed by "and it's not really any of anybody else's business". Is there a reason the OP is so eager to tell the "someone" of whom they speak that she's not visiting her elderly parents enough?
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Old 06-03-2013, 03:46 PM
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I am not that fond of my dad either. I live about 2.5 hours away from him. I don't see him that often, but that's also a facet of the fact that he lives with family neither of us are very fond of. I call him weekly though.

Accepting money from them does put a different twist on it. But really it's between the parents and the kids. And really, parents should accept that their kids have lives now, apart from them. You can't expect to see your kid once a week, that's frankly ridiculous*, I don't see anyone once a week except my coworkers and my SO.

*Unless the kid and the parents are happy to see them. I know parents whose kids are always visiting and mooching and the parents, while they love their kids, would be happy to not always have to be available!
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Old 06-03-2013, 03:57 PM
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I am not that fond of my dad either. I live about 2.5 hours away from him. I don't see him that often, but that's also a facet of the fact that he lives with family neither of us are very fond of. I call him weekly though.

Accepting money from them does put a different twist on it. But really it's between the parents and the kids. And really, parents should accept that their kids have lives now, apart from them. You can't expect to see your kid once a week, that's frankly ridiculous*, I don't see anyone once a week except my coworkers and my SO.

*Unless the kid and the parents are happy to see them. I know parents whose kids are always visiting and mooching and the parents, while they love their kids, would be happy to not always have to be available!
If I didn't take my dad cooked food on Sundays, he'd be subsisting on pop-tarts, cheerios, and apple juice.
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Old 06-03-2013, 04:00 PM
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Yep, it's really between the family members. My grandmother had 10 kids and for as long as she was alive (she died a few years ago at age 104) her grown kids visited her every day - all of them. Typically everyone would stop by on their way home from work, or taking my cousins somewhere. This was a piece of cake since everyone lived within a mile or two of her (deliberately - they've tried to buy the houses on either side of her whenever they came on the market).

Some of my cousins are similar with my aunts. One of my aunts sees or talks to her 5 daughters every day, though two live out of town, and when she retired her son bought a duplex so she could live next door to him.
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Old 06-03-2013, 05:28 PM
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I moved 600 miles away from my parents just so I wouldn't have to visit more than once a year. When I lived closer, I got nagged a lot to do something I didn't want to do.

Really, OP, what other families do is none of your business. And if this sibling is your sibling, it's probably still none of your business. One sibling doesn't have more responsibility than another, just because she happens to live closer.


Roddy
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Old 06-03-2013, 05:41 PM
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How often should adult children visit elderly parents?
Whenever their cage needs a hosedown.

And it's best not to wait more than two weeks between times, believe me.
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Old 06-03-2013, 05:47 PM
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I live about three hundred miles away from my parents. I visit them every couple of months. I call them weekly. I don't take money from them (nor do they take money from me).
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Old 06-03-2013, 05:54 PM
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If I didn't take my dad cooked food on Sundays, he'd be subsisting on pop-tarts, cheerios, and apple juice.
He can't make a sandwich? How awful.

I probably see my parents in person about 5-6 times a year, but I talk to them at least once a week at the very least. We usually do Facetime between my wife's phone and my mom's iPad pretty frequently as well.

My brother, who lives in Houston with the parents sees them once a week or thereabouts, and helps out a lot around the house with them, since they're getting elderly and Dad's Parkinson's disease keeps him from doing a lot of what he'd otherwise do. Mom's just very small (4'11") so there's a lot of stuff she might be able to do if she was taller, that Andy takes care of.

I can't imagine just leaving my parents to their own devices if I lived 20 minutes away.
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Old 06-03-2013, 06:08 PM
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He can't make a sandwich? How awful.
I was being hyperbolic, of course. But cold cuts and bread are about Dad's limit. He was honestly surprised to find out there was a difference between real hot chocolate and that powdered crap, for instance. He's pushing 80, has been widowed since '06, and just never learned to cook. He's also very forgetful and bad about following directions, so frozen dinners often turn out badly. My wife, two of my sisters, and I bring him stuff he can microwave.
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Old 06-03-2013, 06:22 PM
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I'm a big fan of my parents, but we live very far apart. Some years I only see them at Christmas. Others we manage a second or third visit there, here, or somewhere between. We usually speak weekly.
When I lived much closer (1-2 hours) to grandparents, I think we only saw them a few times a year.
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Old 06-03-2013, 06:26 PM
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As often as bearable, unless you're a family of bears, in which case, never.

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Old 06-03-2013, 11:18 PM
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This is way too open-ended a question to be resolvable by debate; I think it's gonna wind up in IMHO.
You are correct, sir!
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Old 06-04-2013, 03:04 AM
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Old 06-04-2013, 04:01 AM
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I haven't seen my father since 1987. We exchange emails every other month. He's 80 and lives in Phoenix. I have no plans to see him or go to his funeral when the time comes. I do not love him, or care for him or even like him. Any chance at a normal relationship was lost decades ago.

My mother lives near Pasadena, CA. I saw her for the first time this century last year. She is 77. I do not love her, but I do care for her and would do more to help her if I could. She gives me $40 a month. I have tried to get her to stop, but she insist. I have no plans to see her again.

My brother see her about once a week. He lives in Pasadena. He and I don't talk to each other.

I live in San Francisco. I'm on disability. I'm a urban hermit. I don't like traveling.


IMHO parents have a responsibility to the children they bring into this world, but beyond that anything else is extra and nothing should be expected.
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Old 06-04-2013, 04:37 AM
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I live a couple thousand miles away from my parents. I go see them a couple times a year if I can. Even if I lived closer I doubt I'd be visiting them every week, that's frankly stupid.
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Old 06-04-2013, 06:26 AM
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Everyone's parents are different and of course the answer tailors to the person.
I had a good relationship with my parents. They've both passed. I always make a habit of telling people to see their parents while they can & to love them while they've got them. I only say that because, there's just so many more times that you can.

And then you can't.


I won't get into the whole "my parents remains are being held hostage in urns on one of my selfish sister's mantles and I couldn't see them if I wanted to" issue.
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Old 06-04-2013, 06:39 AM
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I live 3 hours drive from my mum, dad died a few years back.

I speak to her on the phone every sunday night at 7:30. I like routine and I've told her not to call me during the week unless it's urgent. If I didn't give her boundaries she'd call whenever something panicked her (which is basically every 30 seconds) so this way she knows she has to figure shit out for herself and stop panicking over rubbish. It works, she's been trained.

I see her 2-3 times a year, now my kids are older they like going up to visit to get away from the city every now and then, especially my daughter.

As afar as the OP goes, it totally depends on the individual situation. Don't judge another person until you've walked a mile in their shoes as the old saying goes.



Then you can judge them all you like, cos you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
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Old 06-04-2013, 06:51 AM
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I think this is terrible. My opinion is that if an adult sibling lives near their aging parents, that the adult sibling should visit their parents at a minimum of once a month, preferably more. Personally, I would say once a week, or every two weeks would be second best.
Why would you presume to tell another human being how they should manage relationships that have nothing to do with you, especially when you have no idea what factors are involved?

Maybe they don't like each other. Maybe each time she visits, the daughter gets a ration of shit from her parents about the way she's living her life. Maybe [any of a thousand different possibilities].

If you live close to your folks, by all means visit them as often (or as little) as you wish, and be grateful that total strangers aren't criticizing you for the infrequency of your visits.
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Old 06-04-2013, 07:56 AM
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I believe it is a pattern of behavior established early in the lives of those involved.

For example, when my siblings and I were pre-teens, my mother remarried, and she and her new husband decided to move the family halfway across the country, away from all relatives. From that point on, we had little-to-no contact with the family we'd known prior to the move (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.). So, we grew up without any family-bonding type of relationships. Grandparents were visited on average once every two years until we were well into our late teens, when contact with them dropped to phone calls on birthdays (ours, not theirs) and Christmas and nothing else. I never knew the birthdays of my Grandparents and was never asked or encouraged to send them cards or gifts for any occasion whatsoever.

After leaving home in my early twenties, this learned behavior continued in the same way towards my parents; we very rarely communicated, visited on Christmas for a year or two, then a phone conversation once or twice a year was pretty much it.

Given the above, I felt a variety of emotions when my mother (now quite elderly) over the last few years decided that we need to communicate and visit more often (even though I currently live over 2K miles away from her), mostly becoming quite abusive and rude about it. I find her behavior fascinating and strange given the history, but have maintained "high ground" and refuse to return any rudeness or harsh words. So far, anyway.

Last edited by nogwart; 06-04-2013 at 07:58 AM.
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Old 06-04-2013, 08:12 AM
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When both of my parents were alive I saw them maybe once a week.
It depended on what was going on. They traveled a lot after my father retired.

After my father died I made sure I saw my mother at least once a week and called her everyday.

Now I live with my mother and I can go several days without seeing or talking to her even when she is home. That probably sounds strange but we live on different floors and unless we are both in the kitchen/dining room at the same time we don't run into each other. When her bf isn't here I'll check on her. When she is traveling we don't talk at all unless something important comes up.

If she were living by herself I would call her everyday to check up on her and if I lived close enough I'd see her at least once a week. I'd feel like scum if my mother died at home and laid there for days or weeks without anybody noticing.
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Old 06-04-2013, 10:24 AM
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Perhaps I should have made my post more clear. The daughter is given by her parents quite a large sum of money every Christmas, and she and her husband use a lot of the money for travel; Hawaii, Europe, etc. (first-class). She can wait in security lines, etc. at airports but cannot visit her parents who live 20 minutes away, and literally has never said to them "Is there anything I can help you with?", as her parents do not drive anymore. I see her as selfish and spoiled, but her parents love her as she is their daughter, and their relationship is good between them. I maintain my position that adult children of aging parents should visit their parents on a timely basis, if they live in the area. I have the utmost respect for children of aging parents that do visit their parents. Unless there was terrible abuse, all adult children of aging parents should visit their parents. It's called doing the right thing, and having high moral standards.
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Old 06-04-2013, 11:32 AM
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We have six kids in our family, my mom just passed at 94. My sister lived next door and one sister stayed with my mother. The four brothers would visit at least once a month and usually at least once a week phone calls. My mom would talk incessantly about religion and the wondeful priests and drive us all nuts.
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Old 06-04-2013, 11:34 AM
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I agree that the daughter described by the OP sounds very selfish and spoiled. Her parents should be ashamed that they raised such a child.
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Old 06-04-2013, 12:11 PM
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If I didn't take my dad cooked food on Sundays, he'd be subsisting on pop-tarts, cheerios, and apple juice.
And you just have to go and screw that up?

We live 5 miles from my parents and see them at least once per week, on average. We live 6 hours from my mother-in-law, so only see her 3-5 times per year. FIL is 2 hours away, but we only see him 1-2 times per year. It's an odd dynamic. Phone conversations are more frequent than visits in all cases
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Old 06-04-2013, 12:19 PM
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I don't believe adult children really owe their parents anything. If you've been a good mother or father, hopefully your children will turn out ok and will want to see you because they love you. If they don't, I pretty much always assume the parents deserve it somehow. By the same token, though, I do not believe parents owe anything to their kids once they're grown. All of it is voluntary, and I think the best thing is to keep your nose out of other people's personal business, which this certainly is.
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Old 06-04-2013, 01:19 PM
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Perhaps I should have made my post more clear. The daughter is given by her parents quite a large sum of money every Christmas, and she and her husband use a lot of the money for travel; Hawaii, Europe, etc. (first-class). She can wait in security lines, etc. at airports but cannot visit her parents who live 20 minutes away, and literally has never said to them "Is there anything I can help you with?", as her parents do not drive anymore. I see her as selfish and spoiled, but her parents love her as she is their daughter, and their relationship is good between them. I maintain my position that adult children of aging parents should visit their parents on a timely basis, if they live in the area. I have the utmost respect for children of aging parents that do visit their parents. Unless there was terrible abuse, all adult children of aging parents should visit their parents. It's called doing the right thing, and having high moral standards.
This girl does sound very spoiled, but you know, it's still none of YOUR business, unless you are the parent! Why don't her parents say something, if that's what they want? Trust me, if it's really bothering them, the resentment will eventually spill over. In the meantime, maybe they are happy they can give money to their daughter and let her travel. Maybe they didn't get to travel much, and now they are wish-fulfilling through their daughter. Maybe their daughter happy makes them happy.
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Old 06-04-2013, 01:28 PM
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I live 15-20 minutes from my day, whom I love but do not like. I see him at least once a week.
My parents live in the same sub division around the block and I don't even see them once a week. They both drive and are in their late 60s so I don't know if that is "elderly". They can (and do) pop in whenever they want.

My brother calls them daily and my sister's partner does as well so I guess I am the bad sibling. If they need me they can stop by on the way back from their errands.
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Old 06-04-2013, 04:54 PM
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I used to see my mother two or three times a week and talk to her on the phone about that often. She lived about ten or fifteen minutes away. Before I had children (and before she retired), we'd see her maybe once a month and I'd call every couple of weeks. Mr. Legend's parents were always a bit clingier, so we visited them every couple of weeks before we had kids, even though they lived an hour away, and we talked to them on the phone every few days. After we had children, we saw them weekly unless there was some special circumstance, and talked to them every other day or so. I'm eternally grateful that my kids got the chance to grow up knowing their grandparents well.

Once our mom could be considered "elderly" (and, oh, how she hated that word!), my brother called her a couple of times a week and usually visited her once a week. Before that, he talked to her less frequently, but they still had pretty regular contact. He lived about 30 minutes away.

Now that my mom and my mother-in-law are dead, we see my father-in-law at least once a week, and we talk to him on the phone almost nightly. Sometimes it's a hassle, but he's 84 and I know we don't have that much more time with him, so it's worth it.

However, if our family didn't feel like visiting that often, or if we felt like visiting daily, I would still consider it none of anyone else's business.
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Old 06-04-2013, 07:22 PM
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OP, to make an assessment of what she should do, don't you need to sit down with the parents and ask them what they want? maybe they are paying her not to come over..who knows.
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Old 06-04-2013, 09:03 PM
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I know of someone who lives within 20 minutes driving time of her aging parents, and she visits them only about 3 times a year (holidays), and calls them about once every 2 months. She never offers them any help whatsoever. Her days are wide-open, and she clearly has the time. I think this is terrible. My opinion is that if an adult sibling lives near their aging parents, that the adult sibling should visit their parents at a minimum of once a month, preferably more. Personally, I would say once a week, or every two weeks would be second best. I might add that she does accept money from them, in other words, she takes, but she does not give back. Would like to hear opinions on this subject!
Has it ever occurred to you that the relationship of that individual with her parents may not be stellar and that she doesn't -want- them in her life in a more than perfunctory manner?

Adult child here, elderly parents 9 hours away, and visiting them once a year is plenty and enough.

Last edited by Waxwinged; 06-04-2013 at 09:04 PM.
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Old 06-04-2013, 09:44 PM
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My sisters were 90 minutes away, I lived in town. They visited every 8-10 weeks while I was the local on call person. Once Dad passed they increased their visits to 24 hours every two weeks while I was still on call. Even in my supposed day off, if the whole family wanted to be together, then I gave up my day off. Now that Mom is gone too, there are lots of hard feelings. Probably won't see them face to face again. Alright by me.
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Old 06-05-2013, 05:52 AM
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My sisters were 90 minutes away, I lived in town. They visited every 8-10 weeks while I was the local on call person. Once Dad passed they increased their visits to 24 hours every two weeks while I was still on call. Even in my supposed day off, if the whole family wanted to be together, then I gave up my day off. Now that Mom is gone too, there are lots of hard feelings. Probably won't see them face to face again. Alright by me.
I'll admit I feel some guilt over this issue in my family. As I wrote above, I live a few hundred miles away from my parents. My sister lives several states away. My brother lives next door to them. So inevitably he ends up having a much greater burden than either my sister or I do. As you note, he's the one who's "on call".
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Old 06-05-2013, 08:26 AM
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My feeling is that if you don't visit for the parents, then visit to give your siblings some time off. Just be aware how much the other caretakers are giving.
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Old 06-05-2013, 08:53 PM
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I'll admit I feel some guilt over this issue in my family. As I wrote above, I live a few hundred miles away from my parents. My sister lives several states away. My brother lives next door to them. So inevitably he ends up having a much greater burden than either my sister or I do. As you note, he's the one who's "on call".
yes. I'm 2 hours from my parents, on sibling is across the country, one is 20 minutes away and one is a 5 minute walk. The two who are closer do end up beating more of the burden.i try to do what I can, but I admit I don't visit often.
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Old 06-05-2013, 09:18 PM
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I really feel like the OP is being awfully nosy.

It all boils down to three things:
1) How the parent raised the child as to what was expected family behavior - did the parents visit their own parents? Did they make it obvious that the kids needed to DO anything in order to get money and perks from their parents?

2) The current relationship between the parents and adult child. Maybe they're estranged. Maybe they are totally different personality types, and love each other dearly but can't stand to be in the same room? Maybe the parents or the child aren't really emotional or close by nature, and choose to keep their distance. Maybe the parents were abusive, and now they feel guilty so they're paying for the child to have a lovely life now.

3) It isn't anyone else's business! If they are happy with their arrangement, then yay for them! If they aren't happy, well, they're all grownups, so they can work it out themselves. If they aren't able or willing to work it out themselves, they aren't going to welcome a nosy stranger telling them what for like they don't already know it.
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Old 06-05-2013, 09:30 PM
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My office moved over an hour away from the retirement community my mother lives in, so no more dropping by for lunch, and frankly, after work and my now tripled drive, I'm tired. I see her every weekend, at which point she a.) bitches I don't come more often and b.)bitches because I can't stay longer. To her, my weekends, when I have errands, cleaning, the usual, are HER time. Visiting is now a chore I add to my list. And the ALZ means we have the same 5 conversations everytime.
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Old 06-05-2013, 11:53 PM
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I live in another country so I try to see my folks a couple times a year usually for several weeks at a time with my kids. Now that one of them is school age that doesn't happen as frequently. One sibling lives with them to care for them and another visits every weekend and stays over. If I lived in the same area I would be visiting a couple times a week probably living in the same neighborhood. They have significant health issues and I like hanging out in the house I grew up in.
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Old 06-06-2013, 05:29 PM
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It isn't really for anyone else to say what's the right amount of visiting for anyone else. I think the natural tendency is to compare other people's behavior with our own. If I lived that close to my mom I'd be over there a lot more, but I'd visit my dad on more or less the schedule described in the OP.
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Old 06-09-2013, 03:22 PM
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I'm 2000 miles away from my parents, and they live in a closed-minded village that doesn't tolerate my lifestyle (I'm a lesbian). I've never been back since I moved here.
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Old 06-09-2013, 04:25 PM
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As often as you like. If you don't get along, then they need to make their own friends. You can't buy someone's love with lavish gifts.

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Old 06-09-2013, 05:24 PM
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Maybe the parents don't WANT to be visited. Not everyone enjoys the company of their children.
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Old 06-10-2013, 02:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bryan Ekers View Post
As often as bearable, unless you're a family of bears, in which case, never.
That sounds about right to me...
  #45  
Old 06-10-2013, 06:17 AM
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FairyChatMom is offline
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My mom (she'll be 80 in January) lives about 2 hours from me, but all of my sibs are within 30 minutes of her, one sister living about 6 miles away. Mom is widowed, living alone in a house that's too big for her on almost 7 acres. I'd love for her to move into a condo, but she likes the solitude and the garden. My brother helps her manage her finances, my youngest sis will go see her every couple of weeks to help out with big chores, the nearby sister and BIL pop in frequently. The other sister and I see her occasionally, since we lived the farthest away. But between email and the phone, we all stay pretty well connected.

My biggest worry about my mother is if she fell or was hurt badly at home. Because of her isolation, no one could hear her call for help. My pleas that she carry her cell phone at all times have been unheeded. A child can only do so much with and for a stubborn parent. I should enlist my bro to press the phone issue - for some reason, his word carries more weight with her.
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Old 06-29-2013, 06:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Whitney Harper View Post
I know of someone who lives within 20 minutes driving time of her aging parents, and she visits them only about 3 times a year (holidays), and calls them about once every 2 months. She never offers them any help whatsoever. Her days are wide-open, and she clearly has the time. I think this is terrible. My opinion is that if an adult sibling lives near their aging parents, that the adult sibling should visit their parents at a minimum of once a month, preferably more. Personally, I would say once a week, or every two weeks would be second best. I might add that she does accept money from them, in other words, she takes, but she does not give back. Would like to hear opinions on this subject!

Since I am considered an elderly parent, I feel my children have lives of their own and can visit me when ever they desire to, they have lives of their own, children and grandchildren, My children do visit when they can. I am always happy to see them, but I like that they visit me as they do and are not pressured to come to visit. I know it is because they want to visit my husband and I and don't feel obligated. With the Phone and internet I feel they are showing concern for us.
  #47  
Old 06-29-2013, 07:44 AM
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I'm an over the road truck driver. This keeps me away from home for 4 to 5 weeks at a time. I try to call my dad (my mom has passed on) once a week and I try to spend a day with him every time I'm in town.
  #48  
Old 06-29-2013, 09:53 AM
RickJay is offline
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This is an interesting question in that my sister and I have quite different approaches to the same set of parents despite the fact that we have more or less the same relationship with them.

My sister used to call my parents literally every day, or at least 5-6 times a week. She and her husband made an effort to see them once a month of so (they live a 3-hour drive away, and the drive necessitates driving through most of Toronto, among the worst cities to drive through in North America.) By way of comparison, I call once a week. Unless they call me first, in which case I've no reason to call them. I visit on Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, and their birthdays, and maybe once or twice a year when I'm passing through anyway. They are very resistant to the idea of coming to visit my sister and I (we live close to each other) so that'll only happen on the kids' birthdays, really.

This isn't because I am less fond of them or them of me, not at all. It's just what works for me. I have time for a call a week, more or less. I don't even know what the hell else there would be to talk about. And what's funny is that my sister's relationship with them is FAR more acrimonious - she gets into battles with my parents, especially my mother, that are completely baffling to me, whereas my relationship with them has been happy and genial for as long as I can remember. I have tried to coach my sister into the idea that maybe a grown woman doesn't need to talk to Mommy and Daddy every day, and to her credit she's backing off a little.
  #49  
Old 06-29-2013, 11:52 AM
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I used to live 50 miles (about an hour drive) away from my mom and would visit, drive her to doctor's appointments, and take her to the grocery store between 1-3x a month. My sister lived over 1000 miles away, visited once a year, did nothing (compared to my contributions) in my mom's day-to-day life, but my mom liked her better. I got tired of feeling like I was being taken advantage of, stopped visiting, implied that she should start taking the (free!) disability bus for groceries, and recommended she find a doctor in her new city. Because I wasn't going to be making the 6-hour round trip to her house, to the doctor, back to her house, and back home on my dime anymore. She wouldn't pay for the gas to cover it, not to mention the amount of PTO I ran through for her emergencies, and I was running myself broke with nothing to show for it but stress and anger from her hammering through a laundry list of my faults every single minute we spent together.

Now I live 700 miles away. I wouldn't say I moved away because of my mom--I moved because of my boyfriend--but her actions sure as hell didn't give me a reason to stay. If I visit every 5 years between now and her death, that would be too often.

Last edited by Rachellelogram; 06-29-2013 at 11:55 AM.
  #50  
Old 06-29-2013, 01:02 PM
R3d Anonymous is online now
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That is pretty sad. There's got to be something up with her. But the fact that she's taking money from them and not returning it and showing as if she hardly cares about them seems bratty.

Anyway, my parent's parents (a.k.a my grandparents) live in India, so we only get to see them at most, once every two years for a few days.

And it sucks for my parents, and quite a pain for them every time our vacation is over.
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