I’m an 18 year old paraplegic woman, attending college. There is a guy on my course I’ve been getting to know, but lately the only reason he seems to want to talk to me is because of my disability. I’ve noticed him looking at my wheelchair and my legs (I never have them out though, it’s a wee bit chilly out) with interest, I’m suspecting he’s a devotee of paraplegics. This means that he has a sexual attraction to my paralysis but not necessarily to me as a person.
I am a virgin but that is just by bad luck, should I give this bloke a chance? He is smart and good looking, and intelligent, but surely there will be some normal guy out there for me?
Could anyone help me?
Trust your instincts. You’re still quite young and the world is full of decent people, with some creeps mixed in. Take your time and learn how to sort them out. You don’t want to get into an intimate situation with a skeevy character… :eek:
Are you good-looking, and bravely bearing up under your disability? Do you know a lot about handicap challenges and life, and are you willing to post incessantly about them?
Then welcome! Have we got a (short-lived) starring role for you!
You sound like someone who once came in and duped a bunch of dopers. Some of them still bear scars from that incident. Even if your story is true it will be met with a lot of skepticism.
This board had a past incident with a new user whose first thread ever created was “Should I date a devoté?” quickly followed by a loooong thread titled “Ask the Girl in the Wheelchair” where s/he solicited and answered questions about what it’s like to be quadriplegic. It turned out s/he was a fake, faking, faker, so many people here might be a little gun-shy.
If you’re really, really interested in how the whole saga played out, this Google search of the related threads should keep you busy for a while. And, even though it was started under false pretenses, that first thread I linked above should provide you with a lot of insight and thoughts related to the situation you were asking about.
Oh right, I’ve only been reading these forums a few weeks, all seems quite innocent to me, maybe not?
I’m just asking a perfectly reasonable question to what I thought would be open minder people. Maybe not. If I amnae gonna get a straight answer here I may just go to another forum, thanks for your time.
The google link does nae go anywhere, but I found a thread by someone called Umkay, is this who you’re on about?
I never said this guy is a devotee, I just suspect he might be from the way he acts and I have heard about these weirdo’s before, but I know little about it. If people donnae feel comfortable answering a wee question about it then OK, it’s your choice. :mad:
If anyone can tell me how to upload a photo I will. I’m an 18 year old girl, living in Rutherglen, near Glasgow, Scotland. I attend a local sixth form college as a student. Do you want more proof I exist?
Sorry if that Google link didn’t work - just plug this into Google: “site:straightdope.com umkay” …if you want the whole backstory. (Though, trust me, you don’t.)
But my main point was that you should read that Should I date a devoté? thread, since it quite thoughtfully explores the issues related to what you were asking about, and you’re just not gonna get similarly thoughtful responses from this crowd after all that. If you read that, and at least some of the other thread I linked, I think you will come to understand why people here are being a bit cagey.
Skip all that - it doesn’t matter and won’t help. Refer to the link in my previous post for input on your original question, then get to know the board by reading and posting in other, hopefully unrelated threads. Anything else is unlikely to end well.
I’m not invested enough in the topic to sift through a locked, year old thread but I have to ask…
Can’t someone be a “devotee” (wow, what a euphemism) to your condition as well as appreciate who you are inside? I don’t know if the analogy applies but can’t I be attracted to a great set of tits and also appreciate what the girl has to offer intellectually?
I realize the “creep” vibe as well as the fact that this particular fetish might wave some warning flags but maybe the benefit of the doubt? Hanging out in a group situation to mitigate the threat level? etc.? Not worth giving this guy a shot wholesale face value because he has a wandering eye?
