SC woman charged with stabbing husband with ceramic squirrel

[Johnny_L.A]

Link

A South Carolina woman was held on a domestic abuse charge for allegedly stabbing her common-law husband with a decorative ceramic squirrel when he came home late on Christmas Eve without any beer.

Sounds like a rocky relationship. Still, she could have stabbed him in the nuts.

Let’s see…
[ul][li]Southern state? Check.[/li][li]Common-law marriage? Check.[/li][li]Beer issue? Check.[/li][li]Tacky decoration? Check.[/ul][/li]
Way to perpetuate the stereotype, woman! (I wonder if they live in a trailer?)

[running_coach]

@Johnny_L.A

Link
Sounds like a rocky relationship. Still, she could have stabbed him in the nuts.

Let’s see…
[ul][li]Southern state? Check.[/li][li]Common-law marriage? Check.[/li][li]Beer issue? Check.[/li][li]Tacky decoration? Check.[/ul][/li]
Way to perpetuate the stereotype, woman! (I wonder if they live in a trailer?)

Only if she threw the squirrel.

[FairyChatMom]

I love the last line in the story:

The condition of the squirrel wasn’t reported.

[ThelmaLou]

I guess now TSA will start confiscating ceramic knick knacks before you board an airplane. :rolleyes:

[silenus]

Thanks, Obama!

[Cat_Whisperer]

@ThelmaLou

I guess now TSA will start confiscating ceramic knick knacks before you board an airplane. :rolleyes:

“Start?”

[Digital_is_the_new_Analog]

I’d like to apologize, on behalf of Florida, for not doing this first.

[carnivorousplant]

I would not approach within a mile of that woman without bringing alcohol.

[Tamerlane]

Why is a ceramic squirrel sharp? And, you know, where? An ear? Those tree-rats don’t even have pointy tails.

[Johnny_L.A]

You know who else is associated with dangerous squirrels? :dubious:

[cmyk]

[QUOTE=NBC News]
The man fled to a neighbor’s home to call 911, and when officers arrived shortly after midnight — on Christmas Day by now — they found him covered in blood with cuts on his shoulder and face, according to the report. When he took off his shirt, they found a big gash in his chest, it said.
[/QUOTE]

It said? IT SAID?!

Did they interview the squirrel? Really, he’s a victim too here. Just for existing, really.

[cmyk]

@Johnny_L.A

You know who else is associated with dangerous squirrels? :dubious:

And…

Though he’s drinking from a moose (Moose & Squirrel!), there was that scene where the squirrel invades their home.

[MikeG]

Wait, a man made himself a sandwich? I dunno about that.

[Iggy]

@Johnny_L.A

…
Way to perpetuate the stereotype, woman! (I wonder if they live in a trailer?)

Checking out Google Street view, most of the homes appear to be stick built but there are a couple of trailers!

[Siam_Sam]

Oh, just great. Now this will bring all the ceramic-squirrel-grabbers out of the woodwork.

[cmyk]

Which part of the squirrel was used to do the stabbing? I’m guessing the tail, but when kitsch is used as impaling weapons, you never can be certain.

[blondebear]

@Tamerlane

Why is a ceramic squirrel sharp? And, you know, where? An ear? Those tree-rats don’t even have pointy tails.

Considering the extent of the injuries, I’m wondering if the weapon was, in reality, a ceramic jackalope.

[Spoons]

From the linked NBC News report:

When he took off his shirt, they [i.e. police] found a big gash in his chest…

Well, at least the squirrel didn’t go for his nuts.

[carnivorousplant]

@Tamerlane

Why is a ceramic squirrel sharp? And, you know, where? An ear? Those tree-rats don’t even have pointy tails.

You have obviously never been to South Carolina.

[Count_Blucher]

@ThelmaLou

I guess now TSA will start confiscating ceramic knick knacks before you board an airplane. :rolleyes:

“Watch me pull a ceramic squirrel out of a hat…!”

“…Again…?”