Help interpreting this Song Lyric about Ian Paisley?

Cafe Society
1

Well, Ian Paisley made the news today.
Hearing his name reminded me of a song lyric I had always wondered about.

It’s a folk song that is popular in Irish-American pubs. It’s called “The Liar”.
Throughout the song, the narrator tells various absurd and comical lies. Each verse is a different lie. Example:

It was during World War 2, I met them all
There was Roosevelt and Churchill and de Gaulle
The one day I nearly fainted
I was having my house painted
There was Hitler hanging paper in the hall

Well, there’s a verse that references Ian Paisley and I’ve never fully understood the joke.

When King Billy crossed The Boyne I heard him call
On his followers to follow til they fall
Then he said “We’ll win quite easily
And they’ll canonize Ian Paisley!”
Then he up and sang a verse of “Derry’s Walls”

Now, since the overarching joke of the song is that all these verses tell absurd lies, the humor in this verse is expected to follow that formula. I don’t understand the history well enough, though, to fully appreciate the humor.

First off: Irish-Americans tend to look at all Irish folk songs through green-tinted glassed.
Maybe this is part of my trouble understanding. Surely there are Irish folk songs that should be read through orange-tinted glasses. Is this one of them?

Either way, I’m not entirely sure what an Irish folk-singer’s take would be on the Williamite-Jacobite war. It was a war between two would-be British kings. Whether William or James, it was still going to be a British king who would end up ruling over Ireland. Still, I’ve always understood William to be a villain in Irish folklore so I start with the assumption that this verse is meant to make fun of William.

If William is a villain, what would the joke be?
It’s not a joke that he was foolish to think that he would win, because he did win at The Boyne. Maybe it’s a joke because he didn’t “win quite easily”? Or does it mean that it was foolishly short-sighted to think that winning easily at The Boyne would be the final matter- rather than the centuries of conflict that would follow?

If the joke is that “We’ll win quite easily” is short-sighted …
“They’ll canonize Ian Paisley”, o.k. Paisley ended up being a controversial and divisive figure- not a universally loved character who the public would canonize. So this supports the notion that the joke is on William for being short-sighted and wrong. But who is “they” in “They’ll canonize Ian Paisley”? I do not know whether the COE/I canonizes saints or not. Certainly, the Catholics aren’t going to canonize Ian Paisley. Going back to the notion that William is being depicted as short-sighted and wrong, does “they” refer to the Irish people? The joke is the idea that the Irish people would celebrate Ian Paisley and embrace the notion that Ireland should be a protestant country?

“Then he up and sang a verse of ‘Derry’s Walls’”
As I interpret “Derry’s Walls”, it seems to unambiguously celebrate a Williamite victory, so it’s not out of character for William to sing it (unless the anachronism is the only joke).
So, you can see, I have a really crappy and spotty grasp on the history.
So, help me out? What’s the joke in this verse? Am I on the right track at all?

2

Ian Paisley was a pretty staunch anti-Catholic. The Church of England doesn’t canonize (actually, Paisley was Presbyterian, and they don’t either) and the idea that Catholics would ever canonize Paisley is patently ridiculous.

Also, the Glorious Revolution resulted in the Catholic James fleeing, to be replaced by the Protestant William and Mary.

Taken together, you can look at the verse as the Catholics’ revenge on the Protestants.

3

It’s a not-entirely-serious verse about William crossing the Boyne with a reference to a more modern figure. The “They will canonize Ian Paisley” bit is just a dig at the stature Paisley gained amongst parts of the Unionist community.

4

So, Baron Greenback, you’d say the “They” in the lyric would refer to the Unionist community. That’s a good uncomplicated reading, seems to be what makes the most sense. So, the humor is in the narrator placing himself at the Battle of the Boyne, the boyish reckless depiction of William, and the anachronisms of William knowing “Derry’s Walls” and Ian Paisley.

5

May we all be so lucky…

For any Irishman back then it was exactly the same as for any Welshman, Lowland Scots, Highlander or Englishman — we can subdivide indefinitely, which is one reason nationalism and self-determination is essentially absurd — some were loyal to their King; some were direct traitors and served William the Thief or Parliament; some followed any of the major chiefs or identifications such as Old English, or Old Irish, or Irish new aristocracy, etc. etc.; and some hid under the bed.
And, any of these could be catholic or anglican or presbyterian or quaker or deist: religion was not a sure marker to political belief.
Why it should matter that one’s King is foreign or resides elsewhere or rules other lands is baffling nonsense. Provided he was legitimate heir-general by primogeniture he can be an African Pygmy for all royalist theory cares.

Franz Josef ruled a number of lands; Prussia was composed of a number of counties often far apart; France rules far-off Martinique as a departmente of France.

Since you have no political power whatsoever, you are going to be no worse of if your ruler[s] are in the next town or three countries along.

Mostly, having local people whom one knows and loathes in charge of everyone nearby doesn’t work so well. Particularly if they’re small-minded parochial bigots.

6

The only people who do any canonizing are the Catholics, and it’s a ridiculous lie to say they’d do anything to honor Paisley, who set himself up as the mortal enemy of Catholicism. So it fits right in with the rest of the song.

And I had a hunch that’s what this thread would be about.

I saw Eve go pick an apple off a tree
She came over and she offered one to me
I said no thank you Madam, you can try your luck with Adam
Me, I’ll have my fish and chips and tea

7

The lie is just that the singer was present at one of the most crucial and mythologised moments in Irish history. It really is that simple. That’s the same lie at the heart of all the other verses. ‘I met Hitler! And I was there at the Battle of the Boyne! And I was there in the Garden of Eden!’ He’s claiming to be an Irish Forrest Gump. The rest of the stuff is just comic nonsense around that core lie.

God, I haven’t heard that song since I was a kid…