There, I’ve said it. The cheesier the better. My particular favorites involve quirky independent women and rakishly handsome widowers.
I like low hanging fruit and shooting fish in a barrel for sport.
I like ridiculous made-for-TV end-of-the-world movies on the Sci-Fi channel. The worse the writing, acting and special effects, the happier I am. If it involves a teen-ager who is smarter than the world’s leading scientists, I’m in heaven.
My movie choices almost always involve explosions or pratfalls. With the popularity of Joss Whedon on the rise, it’s both.
I think Charlton Heston is a God, and I’ve deliberately stayed out of the ‘worst Twilight Zone episode’ thread because the choices are REALLY pissing me off.
Edit: oh, and to stay with the Christmas theme…“It’s A Wonderful Life” makes me cry every time.
To stay with the Christmas theme myself: I’m one of those people who hunts down the Christmas station in early November and keeps it on my car radio until Dec 26.
I *am *ashamed, but will neither change nor apologize.
“Miracle on 34th Street” (1947) is the best Xmas movie; especially colorized.
If I walk by the TV and “Teletubbies” is on, I’m stuck, transfixed, until it’s done. (Uh-oh)
Have you seen Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus? It involves a quirky independent woman and a rakishly handsome Santa Claus played by Steve Guttenberg. Best. Cheese. Ever. There’s even a sequel, “Meet the Santas”.
I also highly recommend Comfort and Joy, with a quirky independent woman who has an “It’s a Wonderful Life” experience and finds herself married to the rakishly handsome guy.
I look for these two every year.
My mom has an encyclopedic knowledge and memory of all the various Hallmark Xmas movies. It is uncanny, and a bit scary. But she consumes them ravenously. They’re so cornball, it’s kinda sweet, and the women are always girl-next-door gorgeous. I suspect I have quite a few in store in the near future since I try to spend as much time with this time of year as I can.
Sorry, I should’ve added my Christmas-themed one, *The Christmas Box *with Richard Thomas and Maureen O’Hara. I love the mystery and the twists.
I’ll let you and my wife go at the Hallmark movies, then.
I’ll be in the other room watching The Walking Dead or something like that.
Suggestion: if someone comes to the door and offers to switch you to AT&T U-Verse, slam the door in their face. (U-Verse dropped Hallmark Channel a few years ago over carriage fee issues, and there have been reports that some door-to-door salesmen are claiming that U-Verse still carries the channel in order to get people to sign up for the service.)
Ideally the quirky independent woman must realize that she’s really in love with the freespirited artistic dude (bonus points for small beard or permastubble) she’s spent 3/4 of the movie snarking at, not her jerk of a rich boyfriend she’s spent 3/4 of the movie defending to everyone who says she’s a jerk. This must happen after the jerk’s jerkishness is revealed right at the crisis point.
Bonus bonus points if it starts to snow as soon as they share their first kiss.
That noise you hear is my husband and son racing each other up the stairs to go watch “Fast & Loud” in one of the bedrooms. 
I like watching crap documentaries like Ancient Aliens, Paranormal * and shit like that, it lets me express my inner snark. It is sound and activity when I am alone, brainless so I don’t have to pay attention to it while I am logged in killing crap in MMORPGs. Priceless.
My mom LOVES those Hallmark movies. We all watched one together the other day–it was the perfect Hallmark Christmas movie. A young woman is running the family’s sidewalk Christmas tree lot business in New York. The Scroogey owner of the building tries to shut them down. Hunky single guy who works with orphans falls for the young woman. He helps her melt Scrooge’s heart and the tree business is saved!
I didn’t mind so much because it starred Sarah Lancaster, from Chuck. She’s dreamy. :o
My favorite cheesy Christmas movies are ones that involve Santa’s relatives. Sometimes it’s a brother, sometimes a daughter or a son, who has to take over the gift giving business. Come to think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen one with Santa having a sister.
My bold- see footnote.
I like these movies better if there are a couple of murders along the way.
*I believe this is the kind of beard Christina Hendricks referred to in Esquire as a beard “that looks like pubes.” She doesn’t care for them.
I know every single version is cheesy and sentimental and cloyingly sweet, but today is the day that I begin seeking out every single televised version of Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol,” culminating in the best of the best - the 1951 Alistair Sim version. (Second favorite? The Muppets version. Seriously.) So far, I can’t find the 1951 version on anyone’s broadcast schedule. I may have to dig up a VCR and watch my old VHS tape. The horror!
I’ve liked “Handcuffed for Christmas” which COULD be a Hallmark movie but is in fact an ABC Family movie. Melissa Joan Hart is a woman who pretty much kidnaps a guy she doesn’t know to be her boyfriend on a Christmas visit to her parents. Squeaky-clean MJH engaging in stalkerish behavior gives the whole movie a weird frisson. It sounds creepy, but it’s actually lighthearted holiday family fare, though a filthy minded adult like yours truly might conceivably enjoy it for a variety of reasons.
It was the highest rated of all the ABC Family Movies, which does not surprise me at all. Not that ABC Family Movies were ratings leaders.
Not to criticize your choices (they’re great ones), but I prefer the “Christmas Carol” with Patrick Stewart as Scrooge. Of course Mr. Magoo’s “Christmas Carol” is pretty timeless, too.