Hi. I’m a 16 year old guy, brown eyes and hair.5’8 and 290lbs. I’m a brony and a massive geek. I’m a heavy smoker and drink and do other substances as often as I can. I’m also gay, exclusively bottom, only because my dick is 2 inches hard. I’ve wanted a relationship for so long, someone to hold me and cuddle with. Everything I do ends in failure. I’m so tired of trying . should I kill myself? I probably sound like some angsty little bitch. Guess I know how they feel now. My mom died a year ago, and I still feel nothing about it. I know I care, I loved her, but I have 0 emotions on the subject. I was so fuckin high, I played with her tits as she aspyhxiated right in front of me. At least I later found out it was natural causes, nothing Wed been taking that night. If I hadn’t been so fucked up, i coulda saved her. She was only 36. I have a strange obsession with gore. At night, I think about intricate methods of torturing and murdering people.i don’t need anyone one to tell me, I know I’m a fuckin psycho, I melted a squirrels face of with a blowtorch while it was still alive. I feel like I should end myself, but I’m scared. I’ve tried Christianity, Buddhism, wicca,Taoism,paganism,Catholicism, satanism and others.I’m an athiest now. What if there’s nothing? Just cease to exist. I’d rather be tortured in hell for all eternity than that. I like incest, beastiality(dogs only) I’ve had sex with both my cousins. I had thought for awhile the younger really loved me, but he has a girlfriend now and he’ll barely talk to me anymore. I was submissive slut, just like he liked, and he still tossed me aside for that ugly whore. I gave him my GODDAMN virginity. But now that i think about it, he never tried to please or pleasure me. Guess i walked into that one.I have a fine homelife, a caring father and loving step !mother. My brothers a little goof ball . it’s all fine, I don’t understand why I feel this way. I’ve tried therapists. I’ve been to the teen mental “home” 5 times and rehab 2 times. This is the last place I’m turning to. Any thoughts?
Aren’t people supposed to reply
Get a live journal.
Reported.
Get help son. The type you need you won’t find here.
Well what do you want? We are just a website. You need actual humans to help you get your shit together.