Your thoughts on death and dying. Are you afraid?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Not wanting to start a grim mood with this thread, but instead wanting to hear people’s honest answer to this very serious question.

I’ve been suffering from panic-disorder for almost a year now, but thanks to modern medication, I am doing much better and almost feel like I used to. This does not mean that at times I still do not get these horrible panic attacks in which my heart races, I feel depressed and I feel a sense of hopelesness.

I have a very forgetful mind, and for two days I forgot to take my anti-anxiety meds, and I felt like crap. I did’nt know why, but then I remembered about the meds and after a while a felt better.

Well in today’s specific panic attack, I got into the the mental cycle of thinking: what would it be like to die?

All religious promises aside, I believe that death is no more different than what life was before you were born, namely nothing.

Now trying to think about, how would I feel if all of a sudden, for whatever reason, I became nothing again?

Sure this is a bit complicated and maybe contradictory, because, If you are nothing, then you don’t have a specific feeling towards it because, your not alive to feel it.

But, thinking about becoming nothing produces me no joy, but no sadness either. The idea of no be able to live anymore is disturbing though. I’m alive now, and so are you, and although things can be pretty crappy at times, it sure is good to be alive, you know?

I’ve often though to myself, when I’m dead, I’m dead, no use in worrying about it. Still, I feel that it is not something which is very inviting for lack of a better word.

Getting into this mood is a bit depressing, but it also allows for a moment of perspective, which is good, though a bit harsh.

What are your views on death and dying? Are you afraid of it? Do you think about it often? Any other perspective you may want to add?

2

not really. It’s not like I’ll know it when it happens. I guess I would if I was dying slowly for some reason. The pain would suck, but the whole experience would probably be pretty fascinating.

3

I’m afraid of it in the same way that I am anything that is unknown and unknowable, but am not particularly scared of experiencing it. I already sort of did, before I was born. I’ll just be returning to that state.

4

I’m glad to hear that you’ve gotten help and that you’re doing better. I don’t normally get panic attacks, however, there was a phase in college and high school where I’d get random panic attacks. They would ALWAYS be about that one thing you just described there in that mental cycle of could I handle not existing (which of course is silly as I wouldn’t be around to have such thoughts).

It always freaked me out, and I started to realize only really happened when I had TONS of free time and nothing to do, and I was uncertain about my future. Since then, I’ve enrolled in school, am taking classes, and meeting people and just … well being busy. That’s the only way I got over those sorts of thoughts. Because the sort answer to your Original question is simple: Yeah. I’m scared. It’s especially upsetting as I don’t have a strong religious faith system to lie back on (oh, I’ll just go to heaven and it’ll be okay!) sorta thing. And so it’s tough. I try not to think about it often.
So you’re TOTALLY not alone in your OP, I could have written that 6 months ago, except for the got help part. I just kept trying to push it away until I stopped having the attacks (as nothing else ever freaked me out- it was only this one topic).

But I’ve realized- I’m wasting so much time worrying about death, that if this really IS it, then it kinda sucks that if I did get a chance to feel and view back over my life before I ceased to exist, that it’d be kinda sucky to just look back and see me worrying all the time about this one final moment. So I’ve tried to relax a bit about it, and if it happens, it’ll happen. But I’m just trying to focus on the here and the now about this world and existence rather than try to have a negative affect on myself by worrying about something I can’t change.
(I’ve been thinking about it with the whole “What about the Large Hardon collider” thread actually. And so if we all get wiped out in a few Days, I think i’ll be okay with that. I’m not gonna freak out- if it happens, it happens, if not, I’m gonna go to class and do my work like I normally do. Kinda ironic too though, that I try not to think about Death so much, since about 3 days a week I’m doing Cadaver dissections, so I’m basically confronted with Death right in front of me. But after the first hour, it didn’t freak me out at all. It’s… kinda cool, and very educational.

C’est la vie.
Good luck to you again though, and hopefully you can eventually stop having these attacks yourself- but yeah, you totally just described my thoughts back in the Day. You’re not alone.
~R

5

I have always expected it to be peaceful, soothing, and joyful. I subscribe to the “ascending to heaven” model myself and it gives me a lot of peace. I don’t think about it much but when I do it feels good to not be afraid. If I’m wrong and I just fade to black, at least I lived a happy life without fear of dying.

Many years ago I experienced something that might be described as a near-death experience. I can only hope dying really is that beautiful.

6

My mother and I have both had ‘near death experiences’ and it left both of us without any fear of our eventual death. Though her (three in a day!) experience was through illness and mine through violence, we both had a complete disconnect from what was going on in our bodies - we both felt at peace and both felt very strongly that there was a further irrevocable step where we - as individuals - would cease.

Other than that they were utterly different and we both think that next time it will be different again. If pressed for a description, it was like dreaming. As though the brain was giving itself a story to make sense of the situation.

I waver between atheism and agnosticism, which has no bearing except that the experience had nothing to do with any faith or expectations I held.

7

I have no fear of death. I’m actually kind of curious.

I’m certainly in no hurry for it to happen, but if it was to occur sooner rather than later I don’t think I’d be as upset about it as some might expect.

8

I “died” (stopped breathing, no pulse, turned blue) and was revived on May 23rd of this year. I’m not sure how long I was gone for, exactly, but I was definitely gone.

It absolutely changed my view of death, and I am absolutely afraid to die. Just hearing or thinking about death gives me pretty bad anxiety.

I am thankful for every single second I am alive, whether I’m spending it having the best time ever with people I love, or lying in bed staring at the ceiling, because, you know, I should be dead right now instead.

9

I have what I would call an “appropriate” fear of death. I’m not ready to die yet, though it’s not my worst fear, or anywhere close. Perhaps I’ve watched too many movies about the Holocaust, but something akin to that would be my worst- the wrong end of a totalitarian state, or some otherwise completely powerless position (the nightmare where you scream and nothing comes out).
I have had panic attacks, the two most severe of which I thought were stroke/heart attack; my mother was still alive at the time (probably not a coincidence;)) and my worst fears included “what is going to happen to her if I die?” and “I don’t want to live connected to a bunch of tubes with just enough awareness to make it really suck”.

I don’t particularly believe or disbelieve in life after death. I disbelieve in the Fundie Sunday school notions of Heaven and Hell, but I suppose I share (what if I’m not mistaken is) a somewhat Jewish view of “maybe there is some kind of existence beyond, maybe there isn’t, only one way to know and I’m not in any hurry, live your life to be a good person even if there isn’t”. This actually helps b.i.o.n.; I’ve never been a bad person as most would understand the term, but I fear death less now than when I believed in a more conventional afterlife.

10

what was it like?

11

It was like… absolutely nothing. Like going under general anesthesia. One second I was sitting there, the next I was waking up on the floor with about a dozen men in uniform standing around me. It felt like no time passed at all.

12

Given that the opposite of death is… not dying, I would have to say that I don’t fear death. I fear painful and/or ignominous death, but turning over at the end of a long day and going to sleep sounds peaceful.

I don’t know if anyone’s ever read 'Seaward’by Susan Cooper, but what Peth said in it, about going to sleep, that’s stayed with me ever since I read it.

And now that I reread the reviews on Amazon, I’m reminded of what the whole book was about, and it’s actually very appropriate for this thread IMO. If you liked Susan Cooper, and/or need a bit of quietness, this is something I’d recommend. (Although the slow, dreamy feel is very different from her better-known The Dark is Rising books) Now I need to go spelunking in my bookshelves and see about rereading it…

13

Will you tell a bit more of the story?

14

The idea that I will cease to exists one day is incredibly horrific. It’s so sad to realize that one day I won’t be around to watch the world spinning round.

15

I guess I’ll just be honest.

I overdosed on heroin.

I shot up on my living room floor. Stood up and immediately felt incredibly high. I walked to my bedroom, sat down on the computer to chat with a friend, and like I said, it felt like a second later that I was waking up on the floor. No white lights, no visions of lost loved ones, no anything. Just complete nothingness.

I had two friends with me at the time, thankfully. Friend #1 was in the bathroom when I sat down at the computer. He says he exited the bathroom to find me completely unconscious and twitching. At that point I was not breathing (or was breathing too shallowly to detect) but had a very, very weak pulse. After trying to revive me themselves (note: throwing cold water on an OD victim accomplishes nothing but making them cold and wet), friend #2 called 911 and started giving me CPR.

The paramedics told me that by the time they arrived, I was definitely not breathing and my pulse went from “extremely weak” to nonexistant. They said they “bagged” me for five minutes (I assume this means they fed me straight oxygen), after which I sat up, announced that I was fine, and demanded a cigarette (they wouldn’t let me have one). A few of the paramedics seemed extremely shocked that I sat up – guess they thought I was a complete goner.

They stuck me in an ambulance, shot me up with Narcan (worst thing I’ve ever gone through in my life), and delivered me to the hospital. I spent a few hours there, a few hours in police custody, then went home and slept for 15 hours.

I don’t believe many people would freely admit all of this on a public message board, but almost everyone I know in REAL life is aware of my experience, so why the hell not…

16

Not in the slightest but I am afraid of burning to death.

You do realise that Lekatt will be along shortly to wax poetic about his his experiences of life after death, or summink:(

17

Yes, to be honest, I am afraid of death. I do think about it often - partly because of my career (I’m in medicine and have witnessed several deaths), partly because I have had personal experiences with loved ones dying that make me keenly aware of our mortality.
If I dwell on it too much it does make me deeply sad to imagine that after death we all become nothingness…but the way I see it is - I don’t REALLY know what lies ahead and worrying about it won’t change whatever does end up happening, so why make the time I do have here less pleasant by dwelling on it?

Ironically, I think one of the nicest things I’ve seen written about this kind of thing is from someone who is firmly convinced that there is no afterlife:

That is from Richard Dawkins, who I feel is a bit overly fanatic and cranky at times but definitely has some valid points. It’s really kind of amazing that we’re here at all, and every moment we have for experiencing this wonderful life is…well, a blessing if you want to think of it that way. :slight_smile: Just try to enjoy it for however long it lasts.

18

Death doesn’t scare me. Dying does. Dying alone terrifies me.

19

I wasn’t, but recently I found a lump in my breast which turned out to be nothing, but in the four weeks it took to find that out, I was terrified of the prospect. It really brought home to me just how precious my life is, and how much I should treasure it.

20

Frankly, I find it pretty terrifying. I don’t want to leave everyone behind, or, worse, be trapped in a state when only a few people can hear me. The worst thing is, though, that it’s so…uncertain. If it was well-defined, that you got, say, 81 years, and then you keel over dead, then it would be easier to accept. But the whole “randomly dying when you have shit left to do” thing leaves me cold. :frowning: