I live in constant existential dread that every heartbeat will be my last. How about you? See, I gave religion a try, but just didn’t buy into the blind faith aspect. And while I feel there may be a creator, I don’t think it is one you can have a personal relationship with. I simply chose Christianity because it was close by. It could have been Islam, Zoroastrianism, Hinduism, Ancient Egyptian, etc. if I was born somewhere, or somewhen else. It is logical to assume when you are dead you lose track of time and everything else. One second, or one trillion years are the same when you are dead. The Sun will die and Earth will be burned away, and even the universe will experience heat death, and you’ll not know about any of it, unless you come back as a Boltzmann brain in the dead void. The thought of losing myself to the void is utterly terrifying. I feel that there is also the possibility that given an infinite cosmos, we just come back an infinite amount of times and lead the same lives ad infinitum. There’s no heaven or hell, just an endless loop. Of course, I remain agnostic about that.
You know, when I contemplate death my brain just doesn’t compute it. I get nonsensical infinities and smoke comes out of my ears. If you know anything about theoretical physics, when your equations return infinities or rather singularities you know it has broken down. Prime example: the singularity of a black hole. It is on another level that our knowledge cannot penetrate at the moment. Death for me is that singularity.
Far greater men than I have faced death. Lou Thesz, Johnny Valentine, Carl Sagan, Lemmy, George Carlin, Albert Einstein, Norm Macdonald, etc. I could keep going. Yet, I wonder if those greats experienced any apprehension before their deaths. Do you think they were at peace? Do you think their consciousnesses could still be around somewhere in this universe, or another one? Like information falling into a black hole isn’t lost forever, do you think our information isn’t necessarily lost forever to the black hole of death?