How do Daleks, you know, do it?
According to a button I once saw at an sf convention,
Daleks don’t climb stair. Daleks level the building
Where is the coin slot in a Dalek? The one you put a penny in to get a gumball?
They’re for her pleasure, of course. Big duh right there.
BEINGS WHO CANNOT READ WILL BE EASILY CRUSHED BY THE DALEKS!
THE BEING KNOWN AS THE DOCTOR IS AN ENEMY OF THE DALEKS AND WILL BE EXTERMINATED IN ANY OF HIS INCARNATIONS! BUT IN HIS FOURTH INCARNATION HE ALTERED OUR HISTORY AND STARTED A DALEK CIVIL WAR WHICH NEARLY DECIMATED US AND SET BACK OUR DEVELOPMENT A THOUSAND YEARS, SO THAT IS THE ONE THAT REALLY BUGS US.
DALEK TECHNOLOGY IS SUPREME!
YOUR BASEMENT WILL NOT PROTECT YOU FROM THE DALEKS! YOUR MOTHER WILL NOT PROTECT YOU FROM THE DALEKS! YOUR E.T. NIGHT-LIGHT WILL CERTAINLY NOT PROTECT YOU FROM THE DALEKS!
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
BOOKS ARE INFERIOR TECHNOLOGY, BUT IF THE NEED ARISES, THAT’S WHAT SLAVES AND OGRONS ARE FOR!
THE DALEKS DO NOT FORMALLY OBSERVE ANY HOLIDAYS BUT WE HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO PROFESS A DESIRE FOR PLUM PUDDING!
THIS IS SOMETHING THE DALEKS DO NOT DISCUSS WITH OUTSIDERS!
THEY LOCATE ETHERIC BEAM TRANSMISSIONS! KATY MANNING IS KNOWN TO THE DALEKS AND FOR CERTAIN REASONS SHE WILL BE EXTERMINATED LAST!
THOSE BEINGS THAT ARE NOT EXTERMINATED WILL SERVE THE DALEKS BY BEING SHAPED INTO A FORM SUITABLE FOR OUR CASINGS! ALL WILL BECOME LIKE THE DALEKS OR BE EXTERMINATED!
Almost cracked a rib laughing at this! Cheers, Legomancer.
Could you keep the noise down please? You have aggressive , rater grating sounding voices and there really is no call for it.
I may have to speak to the BBC Radiophonic Workshop about you otherwise.
that should be ‘rather’
Please apologise to the Daleks on my behalf.
Is K-9 your pet? You seem to have similar voices.
Who made the design decision to use sink plungers? Wouldn’t soemthing a little more scary be appropriate?
Is North Korean Leader Kim Jong Il really a Dalek? He certainly sounds like one.
Ever thought about an anger management course?
If the Daleks reign supreme why does a single renegade time lord with a broken-down Tardis contually thwart their plans?
Also, if Daleks reign supreme, logically, their cuisine also reigns surpreme. Have you ever thought of appearing on Iron Chef? Or is “Iron Chef” just another name for a Dalek cook?
What’s Davros like, really? I bet at home, he’s just a big teddy bear, right? C’mon you can tell us.
Did you know that when Lego types what you say, you come out sounding like Beldar Conehead?* Maybe you ought to talk to him about that.
So,who would win in a three-corner fight between Daleks, Borg, and Coneheads?
Armilla: Okay, THOSE Daleks are actually scary.
Legomancer: Kudos, man. Funniest thread so far this year.
I mean, among the 27 threads I’ve actually read.
[sub]*It’s true! That’s EXACTLY how it’s sounding in my head![/sub]
So, how you doin’?
YOUR QUESTION MAKES NO SENSE! SHOULD THAT BE ‘RATHER’?
THE DALEKS’ SPELLING AND GRAMMAR ARE SUPREME! TYPOS HAVE BEEN EXTERMINATED!
NONE OF THE THREE UNITS DESIGNATED ‘K-9’ ARE CURRENTLY IN DALEK POSSESSION. HOWEVER, THEY WILL EVENTUALLY SERVE THE DALEKS OR BE EXTERMINATED!
THE DALEKS WERE ORIGINALLY DESIGNED BY DAVROS! OUR MANIPULATORS HAVE NOT IMPEDED OUR ABILITY TO CONQUER SPACE, TIME, OR KATY MANNING, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
HE IS NOT A DALEK! HE IS A ZYGON IN DISGUISE! PERHAPS I HAVE SAID TOO MUCH! MOVING ON…
THIS HAS BEEN SUGGESTED IN THE PAST BY OTHERS, WHO OFTEN FOLLOW THEIR SUGGESTION WITH ‘OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO!’ AND SCREAMS OF PAIN!
THE DOCTOR IS MERELY A NUISANCE! HE SHALL NOT STOP THE DALEKS!
THE ENTITY KNOWN AS CHAIRMAN KAGA HAS DECLINED ALL CHALLENGES FROM THE DALEKS! HE WILL NEVER TASTE OUR SUPERIOR DALEK CUISINE BUT HE WILL TASTE OUR DEATH RAYS!
DAVROS IS NOT A DALEK AND THEREFORE IS INFERIOR TO THE DALEKS! HE IS NOT VITAL TO THE DALEK VICTORY!
FINE THANK YOU AND YOURSELF?
I’m fine.
Oh, and what do you think of Cybermen? Terence Dicks once called them “great silver lummoxes”. Do you agree with this statement? Explain.
Dear Dalek;
My in-laws just can’t seem to keep their nose out of my business. You see, they’re constantly telling us how to discipline our kids - do this, don’t do that. They call four, five times a week and that’s all I hear. My wife can’t seem to stand up to them, but I don’t know if it’s my place to confront them directly. What should I do?
Signed,
Perturbed in Pittsburgh