I read somewhere where a CZ had a hardness rating (or whatever the official term is 
) of 8.3, which is pretty good, I think.
Dictated for Mrs. Cornflakes, the expert on all things formal and/or stylish:
"Plan an incredibly romantic evening to propose to her. Remember the whole night has to be about her. I’m sure she suggested some play or something else that she has always wanted to do to which you have always been reluctant; this is the time to do it.
"During the course of the evening, produce a ring box that is empty and ask her to marry you. Open the box, and tell her that because this ring is for her, that you wanted her to have the exact ring that she wants. Then you can go antiquing, all the stores and to gem shows and allow her to have her ring.
“It doesn’t necessarily have to cost two months salary (it probably won’t), but if the ring she wants costs that much, don’t balk. Give her what she wants.”
Might I add that you don’t want the one you love to start the rest of her life with a compromise. It’s a disservice to you, as well as to her, and it sets the next five decades (more or less) off on the wrong foot. It doesn’t sound like this is an issue, but I think it bears repeating.
Let me tell you what I did. It was wedding rings, but it still counts
What you need to do is find out if there is a silversmith (or goldsmith, I suppose) in your area who designs his/her own rings. Then you talk to them and tell them what you want, they show you some designs, and you end up with an entirely ORIGINAL piece of art to declare your love with.
It could have a ruby or emerald, sapphire or amathyst. What’s her favorite color? (I bet it’s not clear )
Pick a stone matches her favorite color.
On top of that, you’ll be supporting the work of a local artisan. Can’t beat that!
-K.
I seem to be in minority here, but I told my SO that under no circumstances would I accept a real diamond from him.
Why should he waste his money on a piece of jewelry? That money could be put to much better use.
I know a diamond is supposed to symbolize that your love will last forever, yadda yadda yadda. But, my first husband gave me a real diamond. It was a beautiful ring that was custom made for me. My ex was a jerk. The diamond paid for some bills after we divorced. So what was that diamond really a symbol of?
I don’t think you can tell the difference between a good synthetic diamond and a real one. I’m sure a jeweler can, but I don’t think that your friends and co-workers can - which is who “needS” to be impressed.
On that note - I really prefer other stones to diamonds any day. Sapphires, emeralds, and garnets are so much prettier, IMO. And, I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with an engagement ring with one of those stones instead of diamonds.
Your engagement suggestions from MSN Gaming zone are all great, but I can still top them all. You know the collectible card game Magic: The Gathering? Well, the rarest card is called “Wedding in Paradise”, with a print run of one. Richard Garfield, the inventor of the game, had it special-made, with the text “both players must immediately quit the game and get married”. He rigged his deck, and played it in a game with his girlfriend, now wife.
Sorry about you getting puke all over your keyboard again
My brother in law used this one on my sister. The fact that he is now my brother in law shows that it worked. It’s also rather inexpensive.
He went out and bought some fortune cookies. He took the fortune out and replaced it with one of his own (“I love you, will you marry me?”, or something of that ilk). He then took it to a chinese resturaunt and arranged to have it brought to the table as the dessert. The rest is history.
Zev Steinhardt
Just a quick comment on the symbolism of diamonds… they are not forever, they are all slowly turning into graphite. They just last a really long time. Or as the saying goes “Diamonds are only metastable, graphite is a girl’s best friend.” (sorry, don’t know the source, I just know I didn’t invent it.) Diamonds are definitely overhyped, they’re not even that pretty usually. Now emeralds and opals…
If you can find out which gems your girlfriend likes, that should help. What have you seen her wearing?
Although I wouldn’t worry ~too~ much about the ring, afterall, if she really loves you and wants to marry you she’ll say yes no matter how badly or well the proposal may go.
Garnets are the only gemstones she’s worn… and that’s because I bought them for her. Her jewelry tends to be very simply and very… well, metallic. Her favorite bracelet is a bunch of small, linked steel plates with copper figures attached to each plate.
I’m sure that you’re right… that she’ll accept no matter how much of a mess I make of the production. I do want it to be special, though, and as close to perfect as I can make it.
As I said on the Debeers thread, remember that unless you plan on a REALLY long engagement, any debt you pick up will be her debt too. Now, I don’t know how your relationship works, but my guess is that in this day and age she is not the type to wash her hands completly of all things finnacial and let you worry about it all; she may not like the ring so much if a year from now she is still writting the checks to VISA to pay it off. This is not really a gift from you to her–it is your first joint purchase.
A bit of advise–keep the receipt and make it clear to her that you will be 100% not offended if she dosen’t love it and prefers that the two of you go together to pick something else out. If she is a great girl, she probably will feel obligated to act like she loves it even if she dosen’t in order to spare your feelings. Make sure that a)this isn’t true–be prepared to acknowledsge that rejection of the ring would not be rejection of you, and B) that she knows this.
I am getting married next month to a wonderful man who agrees with me that DeBeers has too much money already. Consequently, I have an engagement ring with a garnet in it. It was made by Walker Metalsmiths http://www.celtarts.com/rings.htm and has a great Celtic knot pattern. I picked a garnet because I like the color and garnets symbolize fidelity.
I wanted to chime in again about planning a nice place to do it, as some of the posters here have described. It’s neat because it gives you a place to go back to, a place that is significant.
My husband could barely choke the words out (nervousness, plus he was close to tears, guess it was all that freedom he was kissing goodbye to) and didn’t get down on one knee so the words and gesture weren’t necessarily memorable–but he did it when we were touring this knockout amazing house and gardens (The Biltmore Mansion) and THAT was really memorable. We’re looking forward to going back there someday as a special trip. Plus we got a christmas ornament of the place. My friends got engaged in a restaurant, which is now a really special place for them to go back to. Other friends got engaged near a bell tower, which they keep a framed print of. Blah blah blah, you get the idea
i always wanted the non-traditional engagement ring, either sapphires or emeralds with platinum.
that was until we went ring shopping. i tried on sooooooo many rings that day, and nothing captured my attention the way the diamonds did–according to nen at least.
they’re just so sparkly and shiny and glowing.
i imagine that skott has already chosen a way to catch the heart of his beloved, but i had to tell my story because it’s wonderful and i want to brag (i can’t tell my friends anymore because they’ve heard it already and are sick of it).
about a week before the proposal, nen told me that he had a surprise for me. he would give me one hint each day. the first one ws carbon. next, he gave me the atomic weight of rhodium. i had to call 3 SMELTING PLANTS to find out what rhodium was used for (the plating on platinum rings, since it’s a much stronger metal). next he had me tracking down the future uses for buckyballs, those strange carbon structures which will someday be used to make synthetic diamonds. this one took a few days.
after all of this, i wanted to think that the surprise was a diamond, but wouldn’t dare–so i was stumped. i was afraid that if i guessed it, he would feel that anything else would be a disappointment. so i wouldn’t let myself think it.
nen asked me to meet him at our favorite tree and said that he wanted to “talk about our relationship”–it was nerve-wracking because he seemed all unhappy and tense (an act, i later learned). i was half afraid he was going to dump me because i was moving 700 miles away.
then he got down on one knee and recited the most beautiful sonnet, and took the (shiny shiny shiny) ring out of his pocket…
…perfect
(i don’t remember anything else because i was too busy crying)
Oh, crap. Not that story again!
Okay, so based on all the input, here’s what I’m thinking:
- Design/buy the ring, without gemstones.
- Go antiquing for a diamond ring.
- Take the diamond out of the old ring and put it into a new one.
- Auction off the antique, gemless ring.
What’s you think?
As far as time and place, I got the time pretty much down: Our aniversary is coming up. The place, however, remains up in the air. There’s just not a lot of “special” places in Santa Rosa.
Note to Skott:
The atomic mass of Rhodium is 102.9055 amu.
Try to take the long view, Skott: the execs at DeBeers have a special little niche carved out by the guys in red suits with the pitchforks already.
I bought my then-girlfriend (now wife, thank-you-very-much) a wonderful diamond–the trick is to find a jeweler you like who sells only unmounted stones. Gem professionals are much more likely to let you have your stone at a reasonable price–and they’ll show you the differences in quality that you just can’t see in a mounted stone. Get something within your budget–a diamond doesn’t have to be top-grade to be beautiful. The one I got for my wife has a minor flaw in it, which my wife loves, because nothing should be as perfect as our love for each other (OK, that sounds awful to most guys, and looks awful as I write it, but–well, hell, my wife and I are soulmates, and it’s true).
Anyway, my advice boils down to:
A) Buy a diamond. No matter how much you may hate DeBeers, and your girlfriend says it doesn’t matter–it matters.
B) Buy the stone from a gem dealer, not a jeweler (try to find a dealer in the nearest large city). Get the dealer to recommend a setting type, then buy the ring with that setting type from a jeweler. Obviously, have the jeweler set it.
Although it sounds like you decided on a diamond, I’m going to encourage you to get a colored stone.
When I got engaged, my engagement set was a large (2 carat) marquis sapphire, with 4 tiny baguette diamonds. The diamonds cost more than the rest of the set and frankly didn’t add that much to the look. I got on the average of one compliment a month on how beautiful and unusual the ring was.
Also, don’t think size is so important. Unless she’s a gold-digger, she will value the ring much more because it symbolizes your engagement than because of how much she could sell it for.
P.S. Personal opinion on cubic zirconias: if the engagement ring symbolizes your relationship, do you really want it to be something artificial?
Hey, guess what? I finally proposed!! (Oh, and she said yes, BTW.) Thanks for all your help, suggestions, and ideas.
You can read the details here:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=48770
P.S. Do I get the award for most self-referential posts yet? 
I still razz Mr. Scarlett about this. He says the next time he asks someone to marry him, he’ll do a better job.
How did he propose? Well, let’s just say that he was on his knees. And I wasn’t. Do the math.
<blush>
before my fiancee dumped my last month…
sniff…ahem
Her family lives in the Shenandoah Mountains and we were planning on going there for Christmas. We also have a favorite Bed and Breakfast about 80 miles from there and I had booked “our” room there for Christmas Eve. We would get to her folks early Christmas day.
This place has a great fireplace in our room and we have spent more than one night rolling around , declaring our love for each other in various “ways”. Our ultimate goal was to purchase the Inn when the Innkeepers sell it in about 3 years and own and operate it ourselves.
Well after some champagne, but before the “rolling” got fully underway I was going to say the following:
“What are you going to do next Christmas?”
await puzzled response…
“What are you doing the Christmas after that?”
another puzzled look…
I rise to one knee…open the ringbox…
“What are you dong the next 50 Christmases? Spend them here with me…as my wife.”
Alas it turns out she had a little infedelity thing that reared its ugly head. Thank God I found out now and not December 26!