We’re doing things a bit backwards compared to the “traditional” model.
First, I found out I was pregnant, then we decided to get married next month, and today we bought the wedding rings.
Now I’m kind of hankering for some kind of engagement memento. Maybe it’s the extra hormones rushing through my body but all of a sudden I want to be a girly-girl and have some sparkle. Plus this is the one and only time in my life I’ll be engaged and I guess I just want something to mark the occasion!
Married / Engaged Lady Dopers - do you have an engagement ring? If yes, what’s it like? If not, do you have something else instead? (e.g. earrings, a necklace, a car? )
I don’t have an engagement ring; when I found the absolutely perfect ring, it had a filigree setting that wasn’t compatible with wearing another ring on the same finger, and it was just a few months till the wedding, so I just made it my wedding band. My ring is gorgeous, though, a trillion cut tanzanite in a gold filigree setting that accents the shape of the stone. The stone is small and flat so I never have issues with catching it on stuff, which is great since I work with my hands a lot. (I don’t wear it at work, though, because cleaning blood and poo out of all the little nooks and crannies is a pain in the keister.) I found it on Ebay, and with shipping and insurance it came to right about $45.
I have a small diamond solitaire, but I didn’t get it until we’d been married about 18 years or so. Then at 25 years, we upgraded with a “wrap” a band with diamonds that fits around the solitaire.like these I like my rings, they are all sparkly and pretty.
My engagement ring is a sapphire with side diamonds, rather than the traditional diamond solitaire. Mr Neville and I picked it out together. I didn’t want a diamond because that’s what everybody does, plus the idea of someone sizing up the worth of my (then-) fiance by the size of my diamond squicked me out.
A long time ago, my soon-to-be fiancee had mentioned that since she was a little girl, she always dreamed of having a 2 carat blue diamond ring. I had no idea there even were such a thing as blue diamonds. When I shopped around and saw the price - I almost had a heart attack. We’re talking down-payment on a house type funds; something I couldn’t be able to afford if I worked 168 hours a week non-stop.
Realizing she definitely couldn’t be marrying me for my money, I did the next best thing. I bought a cheap, costume jewelry band, glued the logo from a can of Blue Diamond Almonds on the face of the ring and strung two baby carrots off of it.
When I presented it to her on bended knee she found it amusing - but after saying ‘yes’ - she kept asking, ‘that’s not really my only ring, is it?’
My engagement ring is an anniversary band with 14 tiny diamonds, .28 ct. total. At the time I was working in a field that precluded having a giant protruding rock on your hand that might scratch film. I also do not have “pretty” hands, so flashy would have been wasted on me.
My wedding band is plain gold with twisty swirls on it all the way around.
Last year Mr. S bought me a sweet little gold emerald (my birthstone) ring with a little diamond accent, after I told him that I’d always wanted a little emerald ring that was a gift from him. (This during a discussion about how I’d let him slide on getting me gifts while he was unemployed for four years, but now that he had a job I’d like to have a little something to unwrap for my birthday – not expensive, but just something after several years of nothing. He said he’d been thinking along the same lines, and was thinking about jewelry but had no idea what to choose. That’s when I fessed up. I wasn’t gold-digging, honest! Besides, gold-digging with Mr. S would make for slim pickin’s. )
I picked out my own ring (simple, small diamond) and it’s nice, but I never wear it. Guess I’m just not that into rings.
What should I have gotten? Diamond studs. I got some small ones a few years ago and I love them. They sparkle, they’re subtle, they don’t get caught on things and I feel comfortable wearing them anywhere.
I picked out the Ogress’s engagement ring all by myself. I chose a plain Tiffany-style white gold band with a simple but elegant trellis, and a 1.0 carat Kanchanaburi diamond-cut sapphire. I ran the jeweler like a dog to get exactly the stone I wanted. The supplier would only ship 5 at a time, and I sent him back…well, quite a few times. It’s understated, yet (IMO) undeniably classy as all hell. No channel diamonds, no secondary stones. One sapphire.
My engagement ring is a ‘braid’ of white gold (it’s not really a braid, being cast, but looks like one). It doesn’t go on my finger with my wedding band, but that’s OK. I’ve been known to wear it over the winter when my fingers shrink and my wedding ring is suddenly too big, or on my right hand if I’m feeling dressy.
We originally tried to get it in silver, and the jeweler was so horrified (because it wouldn’t last a lifetime of wear that we weren’t planning on anyway) that he gave us a discount for the white gold.
At first, we had thought it would be fun to go and get a funky cheap ring from the street vendors in our town, but everything was too ugly that day.
My husband and I shopped for rings together. He wanted to get me a large diamond solitaire engagement ring, but I love Black Hills Gold, and chose a wedding set with a 1/2 karat diamond engagement ring which fits into the wedding ring by way of overlapping yellow, rose, and green gold leaves. There are four side diamonds, two on either side of the center stone, which I liked as we have four children.
This was our second marriage to each other, (semi-long story), for our first wedding we had $99.00 plain gold bands, and that was good enough for me. Now I tease him about “upgrading” my central stone.
What I wanted, actually, was a garnet engagement ring, it’s my birthstone, and it’s different than a diamond. However, our choices were limited to what was available on the island.
Congratulations on your engagement, may you share many happy years, and many blessings for the baby!
We have matching bracelets, made of sterling celtic knotwork strung on leather thongs. They’re pretty, but the leather keeps them from being *too *girly, so WhyDad likes to wear his. We’ll often wear them instead of our wedding bands when we’re going to be drumming a lot, because rings do nasty things to hand drums.
In Japan there is no tradition of engagement rings - it has of course come in big now, but it is a purely manufactured custom. The groom used to bring 3 months worth of salary (sometimes more) to his bride to set up the home. Now that has turned into the standard price for an engagement ring (so 5-10,000 dollars. Eeek.)
When we got engaged, I asked for a ring. My husband to be asked why I wanted one, so I explained about the symbol of a ring being eternal, with no end. He liked that but was horrified at the thought of three months wages gone on it. He was most relieved when I said that was unnecessary!
I don’t like rings that stick up, so solitaires and the like are out. I found a gold band with 6 small diamonds in a row across it, and took him to see it. “You can’t have that, it stops!” he said. And promptly picked out an eternity ring in gold set with diamonds all the way around. I absolutely LOVE it. Still get pleasure from seeing it on my hand 14 years later. It was cheap (ish) because it is set in gold and wedding/engagement rings here are platinum only. The woman in the shop when she heard it was for an engagement ring almost refused to sell it!
My wedding rings - yes, I have two - are 2mm wide plain gold bands, one on each side of the diamond band. One for our Japanese ceremony and one for our English ceremony. (And to be prosaic - the diamond band is very slightly loose so the gold rings act as keepers!) My husband thinks that wedding rings aren’t real unless they are platinum, so he has a platinum/titanium 2mm wide band. The jeweller said he should have the titanium added as 2mm is very thin, and my husband works where a ring might easily get damaged.
That’s my engagement ring. Please excuse the creepy looking finger. I didn’t like the classic solitaire. I wanted something with an antique feel. The band matches it. Instead of the four bezzled diamonds and the big one in the center it has seven bezzled diamonds. I rarely wear them together. It’s too much on my hand.
I’m so glad someone feels like I do on this!
I had no interest in a diamond. I have always loved my birthstone (amethyst).
HE wanted to go on his own and suprise me. I was ok with this, but gave him some tips on what I admire in a ring.
He did an awesome job. White gold band (one of my preferences) a beautiful amethyst stone in the middle and 5 tiny diamonds on each side of it.
I’m so happy someone else feels this way about engagement rings because my totally materialistic co-workers look at me with a combination of confusion and pity when they find out this ring is my engagement ring. These women walk around with obscenely large flashy jewelry and even talk about “trading up” their engagement and wedding rings. I couldnt imagine trading off a symbol like that.
I feel pity for them that they base the worth of their marriage on how much money they owe on their Kays jeweler account.
If you want a big rock, and you can afford it, great! But don’t come to work six months later and tell me how much of a trade in you got for it as you blind me with the ungodly flashy replacement.
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