I must say that i’m rather bemused–and a little amused–at those who seem to think that whether you follow this archaic custom or not is somehow indicative of your overall character or your concern for women.
Remember that, in the eighteenth century, the gentlemen who rose when a lady came to the table were often the same men who supported the law of coverture, and other laws that restricted women’s rights to own property and women’s rights in general.
In the nineteenth century, the gentlemen who rose when a lady came to the table were often the same men who consistently argued against women’s right to vote, or to initiate divorce proceedings.
For much of the twentieth century, the gentlemen who rose when a lady came to the table were often the same men who thought that women shouldn’t be allowed to have careers, and should stick to the role of home-making and child-rearing.
The problem with so many of these gender-based social customs is that an important part of their function was to add a veneer of respect, in order to make up for the fact that women were severely restricted in the level at which they could participate in society. Men were willing to let women have their seat on a train, but not willing to let them have the vote, or a job. Which do you think shows a greater amount of respect?
The fact that i don’t rise for a woman when she walks to the table does not indicate a lack of respect for her, and that fact that you do is not, by itself, any real indication that you do respect her.
Note that i’m not making an argument about general politeness here. If i’m waiting at a restaurant table and the other guests arrive, i will often rise to meet them, particularly if it is a formal occasion, or if there are people in th party that i have not met before. If, on the other hand, it’s an informal get-together among a few friends, i see no need to stand when the women arrive, or when they need to go to the bathroom.
Similarly with opening doors or other everyday interactions. If i’m going through a door and someone is coming through behind me, or someone is entering from the other direction, i will hold it open, whether that person is a man or a woman.
On preview, i agree completely with acsenray’s position.
And if people want to stand when a woman comes to the table, knock yourselves out. It makes no difference to me. But to suggest that those who choose not to follow this custom have been “raised by hyenas” is ignorance in the extreme.