More of a splort if you ask me.
Speak for yourself.
I would assume that, at least during basic, no opportunity is spared to break down the individual and subject him to punishment, and that this would be an excellent example of such opportunity.
A spanking? In uniform? Too bad Otto’s gone.
I found it happened a lot during Basic (lots of stress and hot, fit men around). The second most common dream was dreaming about Basic, which sucks.
Masturbating in bunks? Please.
That’s what watchtowers are for.
I didn’t even know you could have wet dreams after a certain age. Thought they were just a puberty thing. I love learning new things.
Don’t know how they do it in the army, but I imagine they’d just use their handy.
I wonder if artillery men compute ballistic tables for semen. 65° angle, wind conditions optimal, splooge for effect !
The first computers were built specifically to calculate ballistics tables.
Your tax dollars at work. 
I had a wet dream in the Army once. I was out in the tent city portion of the field in Grafenwoehr Germany and had gotten quite drunk.
It was winter, so I passed out in my sleeping bag which was on top of my cot. It started to rain, and apparently there was a leak in our tent which happened to be strategically located right above my general groin area.
So, having gone to bed with a full bladder, coupled with the drip-drip-drip in the AO of my gonads, I proceeded to have a dream that I was peeing gelatin, and it felt SO GOOD that I…woke up pissing myself. I was wet. Wet dream.
True story.
That’s danger close right there.
Yes, there might be a joke there. But dishonorable discharge has a real meaning, and for things like getting caught with another soldier, it can be a dishonorable discharge. So, assuming the OP is asking a serious question, the answer given may well mislead him.
I’ve only had one in my life and I was in my 20s. Renting a room in a family’s apartment in Madrid, didn’t feel comfortable tossing off. The pisser was that the dream was about this girl from high school that I couldn’t stand. :mad:
Seriously? For fucks sake, there’s no * might be* there.
If dudes thought the Op wasn;t asking a serious question (which I think it can be) then it should be reported, not use it as an excuse to spread misinformation.
It would be amazing to some that having consensual sex with another soldier- even hetero sex- can be grounds for a discharge at times. The Military is strange, so why is it impossible that evidence of masturbation could lead to a discipline issue during basic training?
Of course, maybe you know it’s a joke- that’s nice. Maybe the poster didn’t mean it as one (can you speak for him) and maybe someone might take it seriously.
Seriously seriously, what happens is that the individual has to do his laundry earlier than expected or has to put in more things than he expected. I mean, really, what in the world does the OP think would happen?
bangs head repeatedly off desk
Divided by a common language…:dubious:
Dude, it was just a joke that you spectacularly missed.
There is absolutely no one on God’s green earth who is so stupid that they could not recognize that that comment is a joke. No one.
No, I saw it as a poor attempt as a joke. But do you have much interaction with dudes of average intelligence? They are very stupid. I have found I can’t go very wrong by under-estimating the intelligence of the average person or the masses.
I was 19 when I entered Basic (2 months) and AIT (2 more months) for the Army Reserves. I’m sure I was a once or twice a day jacker at that age. I was about halfway through AIT before I ever felt the urge to spank. And no wet dreams. Those uniforms don’t do much to flatter the figures of the few girls that we saw. I always assummed that this was so common that the saltpeter UL arose.