How much should I spend on an engagement ring?

In My Humble Opinion
21

Oh also want to add, yes you can save a lot of money by going to a small jeweller…one that you can trust. One of my mom’s clients, a nice local jeweller, sold her a Tiffany style ring with really high end stones for about 7K whereas the equivalent from Tiffany would have cost 15K (it was her 25th anniversary present).

My parents bought me expensive diamond studs from Alaska for my law school graduation gift and I lost one (the backing was awful) and my mom had the leftover stud appraised to get a replacement and the jeweller was very surprised to hear what they had paid for the both of them. Actually, I think I started a thread about how to replace the diamond on the sly, a year and a half ago (I finally just told them).

22

Gross or net? :smiley:

23

If they start at 18k and go to 50k (and let’s face it, someone who has her heart set on a Tiffany ring isn’t likely to want the teenist, cheapest one) you’re probably not getting out of there for less than 30k. I’d recommend against faking it without her knowledge - if she ever finds out you will be in big trouble.

Does your fiancee know that you can’t afford this ring without going into serious debt?

24

Let’s be frank here (sorry, Frank). If she is serious about wanting that piece of crap as an engagement ring, really serious about it…dump the mercenary bitch and go find a woman that cares about you, not your money or what kind of diamond she’s gonna get.

25

When your woman starts to creatively interpret arbitrary guidelines for her own benefit, you know it is time to find a new woman.

To the OP, much of what you say is truly chilling on so many levels and I doubt you will know that for another 5 years or so.

26

I’m in the “it’s hideous” camp, but to each his/her own. I just came in here to tell you to do your research and insist on a good warranty when you buy the ring. Most places (yes, even Tiffany) give you a warranty that only says “we sold you an actual diamond” and don’t do anything in case of damage etc. You should have it insured, of course, but I found out recently that diamonds can actually chip and break (despite their hardness). My fiance’s cousin was featured on our local news in a “consumer investigation” segment on diamonds and warranties; she and her husband bought her ring at Tiffany and then her diamond chipped and broke in several places only a few years later. When they contacted Tiffany, they were told that the warranty didn’t cover damage or flaws to the stone. And it’s not like she’s really hard on her ring or anything; she’s a massage therapist in a spa.

If it were me, I’d buy my diamond online (someplace like bluenile, like Anu suggested) and have a designer or local jeweler make it in a similar style to the Tiffany ring - that way, your fiancee gets the ring she wants and you’re not paying twice as much for the Tiffany name. Most of them come from DeBeers anyway, no matter who sells them to you. The exceptions are the lab-created diamonds and Canadian or Russian diamonds.

Personally, I’m thrilled with my $200 white gold and sapphire claddagh ring, but if I were into the look of diamonds I’d rather have had a moissanite or a lab-created diamond.

27

And does she understand how much that debt might mean to your lifestyle as a couple? Debt brought into the marriage is one of the biggest sources of conflict for newlyweds (PDF). Money is, of course, one of the most likely issues for any married couple to fight about.

28

You’ll also need to schedule an expensive ring on your homeowner’s insurance. It won’t be covered under normal “jewelry” type claims. It needs it’s own policy based on the worth of that particular piece. And you’ll have to pay considerably more for that coverage.

I worked with two gold digg…um…women who had very specific demands for their engagement rings. One told her fiance not to even bother approaching her with anything less than 2 carats (and he actually married her). The other waltzed into the office with a 3.2 carat rock that she got from a wonderful guy that she wouldn’t have looked twice at had he been a plain old gainfully employed guy.

29

Just to let you know the difference between cultured (lab) and mined (natural) diamonds, which are chemically identical, MSN money once wrote an article about how a rare yellow diamond from nature retailed at 22K while the cultured equivalent was just over 6K. I mean, that is a HUGE difference.

Also, if you are going to spend that type of money on a ring, you really need to purchase insurance.

I think more accurately one ought to consider whether they are financially compatible. So far she hasn’t done anything other than ask-why should she be crucified for that? To me the ring is ugly and purchasing from Tiffany is merely a poor choice because you can get better product for cheaper.

It may be that she either thinks the OP is wealthy or is from a very wealthy background herself, and ostensibly she’s marrying an upper-income professional. I think it’s more important to consider her reaction if gatorman tells her they should shoot for something more affordable.

30

Might want to tell her that Audrey Hepburn said, in Breakfast at Tiffanys, that diamonds before 40 are tacky.

Or find a vintage ring. Personally, I think diamonds are over-rated.

31

Geez, for $18K+, they better throw in free breakfast for life.

32

You meant free blowjobs, didn’t you?

33

Some of you have mentioned that the ring will actually LOSE value over time. I was under the impression that because Tiffany’s does not repeat its designs that their stuff actually appreciates with time… anyone has any info on this??

I have a bonus of about 30K coming in right after I graduate which I was going to use to pay for the ring, as far as school loans I have the military paying for school…

34

No woman is worth 30K. Dump the wench and get it over with.

35

I knew a couple who bought a ring *worth *$25k. They were both partners in a large firm, their combined income was well into 7 figures, had no debt, and they both owned homes. A friend of her father’s found the diamond she wanted, and made the simple platinum setting. The diamond came in at just over 1 carat, but it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. It looked alive, it was so brilliant and fiery. Her fiance got teased for buying such a “small” diamond, but honestly, it put all the larger ones in the shade. (It particularly embarrassed the women with the 100K rings, because it looked *much *better.) They paid less than half the retail value. Oh, and they paid cash, too. It was equivalent to them taking a nice vacation.

In my observations of people who spent truly incredible amounts of money on engagement rings, the bigger and more expensive the ring, the shorter the marriage. What’s a $30k+ diamond worth if the marriage doesn’t last 2 years? It’s not worth $30k anymore, that’s for sure.

On preview, diamonds do not increase their value, not if you pay full markup for it. It’s like a car, it depreciates in value as soon as you take it out of the store. It may, with time, return to the original value, depending on the setting and the stone. Plus, diamonds may be forever, but setting styles change. What’s trendy today will look terribly dated 10-20 years from now, and the ring may only have value as loose gemstones and whatever the metal is worth on the market.

Find a jeweler who is willing to spend time to educate you, and show you what you’re looking at. Learn the 4Cs: color, cut, clarity, carats. Do this before you get your bonus, so you’re not tempted. Spend plenty of time looking at *lots *of diamonds, don’t just grab the first one that you like.

36

Some women *are *worth way more than $30,000. They’re the ones that you never even ask about spending money on.

Wenches? Wenches are a whole different ballgame. No self respecting wench would ask for something like that.

37

If you have the cash in hand to pay for the ring, that sure beats a loan–then you only pay the cost of the ring, not cost of ring plus interest.

ETA: Though I’m still not sold on the issue of opportunity cost–what are you giving up the option to spend that bonus on if you spend most of it on a ring?

I wouldn’t be surprised if vintage Tiffany rings are (mostly) only going to increase in value. But I bet in the short term that people willing to pay 18K+ for a Tiffany diamond ring are going to go directly to the source. (Sorry, not going to research that for you). Plus, don’t forget the difference between what you pay the retailer for an item you buy, and what the retailer will pay you if you sell it).

But, really, even if you can afford $18K for a ring, and you are sure she’d love it, I think you need to talk to her about your finances, your priorities, and your anticipated income for the next few years, as well as the next twenty or so years. And the military is paying for school? Great, but have you and she thought about what that means for your/her lifestyle for the next few years? (Not being specific, because I’m not military, I don’t know what you are looking at. But if you will be serving in the military, even as a dentist rather than a high risk role, you need to think about what this means for your lifestyle.)

You know, I don’t want to be discouraging, and put a damper on your dreams. And if your girlfriend would be happiest with an expensive ring, and you can afford it, go for it, be happy, it’s your money.

But 18 K is a lot of money to spend on a diamond ring. Especially if you are young, about to graduate, in the military, etc. And if you are thinking of this ring as an investment, keep in mind that (even aside from the difference between the value of the ring as you buy it and the value of the ring if you sell it) selling the ring may not be an option available to you. (In other words, you break up or divorce, she may keep the ring.)

38

Google for yourself… I had fair luck with: “diamond ring” investment

As someone from a middle class upbringing I find the concept of spending more than a thousand bucks on an engagement ring to be wasteful.

Now as a 10th anniversary vow renewal? Sure. As an engagement ring when you don’t have home/retirement/college funds or any of that already taken care of? Heck no.

And just on a personal opinion poll front… the ring selected is gaudy. Very ugly. I have testes not ovaries so take that for that it’s worth.

39

I’ve heard of 10k sign on bonus’, and even brand new cars, but 30k!? Law firm or what? Wow! (the 10k sign on bonus and the car were for a Pharmacist)

40

YOU’RE A GIRL?!
I always assumed you were a guy.

But anyway that ring is oogly but still probably worth more than my life. That’s awfully unfair of her to expect something like that. Is there more to the story?