[Clippy]
It looks like you’re trying to use VB codes!
[/Clippy]
Joey, I KNEW somebody was gonna say that the moment I hit “submit.”
Good for you. I wish I had a prize to hand out.
Find all files named “filename**.act**” - they’re in a directory called “actors.” Then, either delete 'em or change the extension; I recommend changing the extension if you’re on someone else’s machine. That way you can easily restore them when you’re done and you don’t have to worry about changing that person’s settings. The help file still works as expected (well, as expected for a Microsoft product).
“That word isn’t in the dictionary. Did you mean to type ‘motherfucking’?”
Clippy must die.
My office help has his name as “Clippit” 
. I always give him the axe when he pops up and use the robot-looking character. He reminds me of the little creatures from “Batteries Not Included”, that cheesy alien-robot movie from the 80’s. I think he’s cute, in an annonyingly rage-inducing kind of way.
I hate that smarmy winking paper clip.
Clippy looks a bit like my ex-boyfriend, and therefore I find this rant highly amusing. I think the resemblance lies, to quote porcupine, in the smarmy winking. Nice work, BioHazard!
[mutter]Thinks he writes better than me[/mutter]
In Asia, you can get a help “actor” in the form of an anime-style Japanese office lady. I thought she was cute.
Sad, huh?
Oh UncleBeer thank you so much! My office for some reason won’t tell us to lose the little creep, and they’ll be pissed if they find out I’ve been meddling with my computer. But I’m so glad to see the last of him. I always thought he looked like a dirty old man, and I hated to see him snivelling and drooling in my letters.
umm, there’s this thing called preferences? and you can use it to make sure the paperclip and/or his buddies NEVER show up ever again. Just a thought…
I’m hitting myself in the head with a brick and it hurts! OW! Why does microsoft keep making me hit myself? OW! Microsoft sucks because they’re making me hit myself.
Oh, you mean i can stop hitting myself? Who would have guessed that? Microsoft is evil, so I thought THEY must be forcing me to hit myself over the head.
What’s really interesting, though, is that I find the cat or dog to be far less annoying than the paperclip even though they (I guess) appear just as often.
I know how to kill clippy, I just couldn’t at the time because the owner of the comp for some INSANE reason wanted to keep it on there.
Somewhere, there’s a hysterical cartoon showing a screenshot of someone typing a suicide note indicating that Clippy’s driven them over the edge. Clippy’s also there saying, “It looks like you’re trying to write a suicide note…” I remember the first time I “discovered” Clippy. I was at home, alone writing something, when I paused to think about whatever it was that I was working on. Suddenly, I heard “tap, tap, tap” from somewhere, damn near jumped out of my skin! Naturally, I started screaming at the PC when I discovered what it was.
Ooh! Ooh! Have you seen the “hidden settings” “screenshot” that someone’s done? One of the settings is: “Annoy me with that sodding paperclip!” Priceless, I tells ya!
I believe the satanic wire’s full name is Clippy McAsspixel. The easiest way to get rid of him that I’ve found was to ask him “How do I get rid of this fucking paperclip?” He’ll then helpfully tell you how to disable him.
My mother, on the other hand – an avid computer user since the early eighties and an A+ certified technician – just changes 'im to the cat and leaves him there. Further proof that she’s bloody insane.
I keep looking for a site in which you can do all the obvious violent things to that stupid clip. It really seems like there should be a place to do that. I mean, look at all the flash sites where you can beat up on Bill Clinton or George Bush or the “Do you hear me now?” guy or that dumb singing bass or Santa’s elves or Christmas carolers…
Why hasn’t someone put together a flash swf to let you bend the clip all outa shape, pound him with a hammer, torture him with some pliers, melt him with a soldering iron, grind him up in some gears? Think of how therapeutic that would be. Think of how popular it would be.
I say that the internet is not complete until we have such a thing. There is a big obvious gap out there that is waiting to be filled.
and Kalashnikov: First, that switch isn’t universally available in earlier versions, where you could turn him off in MS Word only to have him reappear in MS Access and reset his properties in the other office products. Second, every time I go and help a cow-orker he shows up and gets in the way. I’ve not seen him be actually helpful yet. Or if you reinstall things he has a tendancy to come back…