So, it seems that we are saying that SUV’s are large and annoying…
The Chevy J-Lo Booty Suburban
The Cadillac Rush Limbaugh
The Lincoln Randy Jackson Navigator
The Ford Star Jones Explorer
and so on…
'Round our place, we call 'em Ford Exploiters. 
the Jeep Juggernaut
the Cadillac Royale (if you’re shopping for a Cadillac SUV, you’ve officially got too much money.)
the Dodge Ball 
**The Subaru BreakBack
The Volkswagen UuberSchweinstukkerAutoBahnHoggenStrecker
The Ford Leviathan
The Ford Leviathan XL
The Ford Leviathan GXL
The Aston-Martin Steely Dan 
The Macro-Cooper, with a 32 valve DUHC
The DeLorean Snootfull
The Chevy Largesse
The Chevy Noblesse Oblige
The Chevy GirlMagnet
BMW’s All-New Bavarian Diesel-Stoker
The Lincoln Abraham, with Polycarbonate Headrests. :eek:
The H-4, by Freuhauf
The Dodge Pythagorus
The Dodge Boudoir ( available only with tinted windows )
The Dodge Prostate- larger, longer, firmer ride than ever before…
The Saturn U.S.S. Enterprise ( god knows, this one’ll sell, sell, sell )
The Lexus John Holmes Deluxe Edition
And, as a nod to what I drive…
The Nissan Inquest. :D**
Cartooniverse
I love that one. How about the Mercury Mountain?
Years ago, I used to work in the service department of a Ford dealership here in DC and we called them Exploders because it truly seemed like every Explorer that came in for service was on the verge of exploding. I think almost 75% of the vehicles that came in for service were Explorers. About 20% were the short-lived Aspire, which we happily called the Expire.
Hey, I would buy a Honda Particle in a moment. With a name like that, it’s gotta be hip.
My wife claims that the Astec, that really ugly SUV, is what a hippopatamus would look like if it evolved wheels.
I like the nic Neal Stevenson came up with in “Snow Crash” - “Bimbo Boxes”.
Dodge Juggernaut
Chevy Entitlement
The Ford Excess
Lincoln Continent
Saturn Destroyer-of-Worlds
GMC Dyson Sphere Hauler
Ford Light Year
Isuzu Megaparsec
Chevrolet Universe
and finally the
Lexus AEO (All Encompassing Object)
Ford Exhauster
GMC Pi SS
Chevy Super Colon
Ford Ranchette
This could possibly be another thread entirely, but are there SUV’s that seem less annoying than others? I personally drive a Jeep Cherokee (and yes I take it off road, and yes I tow things), and I still feel like I’m driving through the valley of the shadow of death when sandwiched between Expeditions or Excursions, but I don’t feel particularly offended by, say, a GMC Scout, which actually has some off-road potential.
For me, the ultimate in offensive SUV’s list reads thusly:
[ol]
[li]Hummer H2[/li][li]Cadillac Escalade[/li][li]Lincoln Navigator[/li][li]Ford Excursion[/li][li]Ford Expedition[/li][/ol]
What are your thoughts?
The Crushinator
Some Doper who posted this in a similar thread a year or two gets credit, but I’m too lazy to look it up:
Rolls-Over Royce
I would substitute the Chevy Suburban for the Expedition. Anything with a stinking diesel engine knocks any of them off the list.
And hey, let’s not forget the monster pickups on the road with the dual wheels in back. My brother has a huge truck with four doors, a full-sized bed, a towing package front and rear, and a Big Foot cabover camper. The goddamn thing is a block long!
I like to play on real names:
Toyota Land Raper
Porsche Cayntfitinthegaraga
Lincoln Naval Blockade
GMC Yukon Valdez
Dodge Blimpie
Cadillac Land Yacht
Ford Flamethrower
Lincoln Factorial
Hummer Roadtrain
Chevy NeoCon, Big Oil Edition
Hyundai Percheron
Bring back the Ford Family Truckster!
Hey! Don’t be dissin’ my car! I’ve owned two of those little golf carts. The first one had gas mileage in the high 40s and passed my, erm, privately conducted crash test, which is why I bought the second one – which has 8 years and 170K miles on it and is showing no signs of stopping. Sure it doesn’t have a lot of poop, but it has served us well.
That said, I did enjoy the automotive review that said the Aspire “aspires to be a real car.”
The Pontiac Pachyderm
My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiat
Saturn Sandcrawler
Dodge Death Star
Ford Fortress
Volkswagen Panzer
Nissan Exponential
Chevy Critical Mass
GMC Globalist