speaking as staff member
Uh, people, if even sven has not revealed her name by now, maybe she doesn’t want to. So let’s not belabour the point, OK?
end of staff member speech
Duh, people… she’s obviously a big, beefy warrior viking. I think that should say it all.
It sounds to me like you could have SA (Social Anxiety) . The primary symptom is fear of being embarassed in public. I have it too, so i understand just how you feel. If you dont have it , just ignore me 
I’ll reiterate by saying for goodness sake get over it! If it’s happened many times surely by now you have come up with a witty retort? If not, I’d start working on that now, or just laugh along. As has been said they’re not laughing at you, they’re laughing at the coincidence of your name. I mean seriously, if your name wasn’t linked with an infamous person would they even bat an eyelid?
Fear of being embarassed in public? Isn’t that kind of normal? I certainly don’t go out looking to be embarassed in public, but then again, I’m mature and thick skinned enough to realise when something warrants being embarassed about. Why is it when someone has a little problem, someone comes up with a name for it? No wonder we have so many paranoid people in the world. Sheesh!
I have a similar problem, well not really but let’s say I do. My name is Osiris and I always know when the teacher comes to my name before they even say it. They either can’t pronounce it or want to discuss Egyptian theology for a while. There’s always this very distinct pregnant pause, which I’m sure you recognize, when they get there. I kinda pretend that I’m on a talk show.
It is a real shame. Your given name is actually one of my most favorite names of all. I think that it will get better. Within 20 years most people will probably not think anything about the name. Small comfort for present situations I know.
Of course you’re not stuck with it. Do you have a good middle name? You could switch them out. That way you’d still have your name but on all official documents you be known as Middle Last. Or at most Middle F. Last. Just a suggestion. Although if you do that you should do it before you graduate.
Although since you’re almost certainly going to keep it I’d say that it would be in your best interest to build up a small repitoire of things to say, like others have suggested. That will help keep you from being the passive and object member of the conversation and make you active and subject. While zinging the teacher is tough I think at least seeming confident and sure of yourself will help to make you feel confident and sure.
Oh, another (and better) suggestion. Every professor has e-mail. You know what classes you are going to take. You know who the profesors will be. E-mail the professors before the start of classes and tell them how to address you. Tell them you will not appreciate them making note about the name in that way. Take charge and nip it in the bud.
I agree with the posters that say “file a complaint.”
Guy at the supermarket checkout? That’s customer service. Customer service doesn’t get to make fun of the customer’s name, 'cause that’s a disservice. I’d file a complaint to the checkout guy’s manager also.
Well…hm…
I have a few options. The point here, I think, is to be effective. So these are a few suggestions:
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I really one earlier suggestion: Speak to professors before class begins and let them know that you’re a little sensitive about your name and that you’ve had a few bad experiences. I can’t imagine a professor then being a jerk about it.
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Change your name. This may seem a bit extreme to you and it does mean some legwork. And…well, it’s your name, you know? You’re fairly attached to it, most likely. I’d imagine this would be a change in your first name. It normally means getting a court order which really isn’t all that hard. All the University’s that I’ve worked at have had a student legal office and they have all included doing name changes - for free! It normally involves publishing a notice in a newspaper for a few weeks and then getting the court’s approval.
I have considered changing my name before - but I’ll be damned if I’ll do it now because it is on my diploma’s and my law license and that just seems like a pain in the butt now.
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Be honest about it. Imagine the professor’s surprise if you had stood up and said, “People love to tease me about my name and perhaps I should let it roll off my back but I’m not like that - it hurts my feelings and I find it an insensitive trait in people to tease me about my name - let alone a professional who I would think would have the education, class and style not to take such a cheap and easy shot.” Whoooaaaaaaaaa, that’d make them stop dead in their tracks and it also doesn’t hold you accountable for saying something…well, downright rude and mean in response.
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Learn to laugh at it - if you can’t do that, then eliminate this option. You know what you’re capable of and what you’re not - and if this isn’t it, then move on to other options.
I’m sorry your feelings were hurt by this - I think, though, that until you take some action on it, you’ll encounter this for a while. My best to you,
Tibs.
Unfortunately eirroc, many people such as yourself are ignorant of the third most common mental illness called social phobia or social anxiety. Do yourself a favour and educate yourself before you call a mental illness a “little problem”:rolleyes:
I can’t believe I’m this late to this tread and still get to be the first to make this reference:
Samir: No one is this country can ever pronounce my name right. It’s not that hard: Nayee-Nanajar. Nayeenanajar.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well, at least you’re name isn’t Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know, there’s nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There WAS nothing wrong with it. Until I was about 12 years old, and that no-talent-ass-clown because famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Why don’t you just go by Mike, instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change it? He’s the one who sucks.
Homebrew: That was a pretty darn funny scene. I thought of it too.
even sven: I have to say that I think that’s pretty shoddy behavior from a college professor, but I agree you shouldn’t file a complaint. At least until you’ve exhausted other options or unless this kind of behavior continues. It sounds like you’ve got the right attitude in dealing with this professor for now.
Changing your name sounds like a pretty drastic step. Have you tried already to develop some humourous comments surrounding your name? I’m colorblind and I often have to ask people what color something is, which can be embarrassing. I’ve developed a pretty good sense of humour about it over the years, but I used to be very self-conscious about it. All I’m trying to say is that, as hard as it sounds, you might be able to overcome this without changing your name. I think that’d probably be worth a shot.
Another example. . . I happen to share the same last name as a couple of well-known singers and one actress. People don’t have a negative reaction to the name, but I still get comments. The other oddity about my name is that people often ask how to spell it, even though it is only 4 letters long and two of them are the same (I imagine that’ll give it away!). So, I’ve combined those two things. When people hesitate after hearing my name, I say, “Spelled just like *****, yep.” And that nearly always heads off any further comments.
So am I the only one wondering how the next class went?
Were there any comments?
Did any students say anything after class?
Did she put any special inflection to your name this time?
All these questions and more will be answered when we hear Catherine the Great say…
even sven
As this is something you’ve got to deal with all the time, you need to learn to handle it yourself. The best defense is a good offense. Try this the next time anyone jokes about your name.
Prof.: Linda Lovelace! Hah! Are you the . . . ?
You: No, I’m not. Are you a complete idiot?
Prof: Err, no.
You: Good! I’m glad we got that all cleared up.
Your first line has to be delivered in a casual, conversational tone and you’ve got to remain dead silent until the other party responds, no matter how long it takes.
I can guarantee that anyone overhearing this little by-play won’t be laughing at you 
Another suggestion for a humorous response:
Idiot: Mary Lou Retton… The Mary Lou Retton?
You: No, I’m the other one.
I sympathize; I have an unusual name that gets regularly butchered. Even after careful pre-ceremony coaching, the judge still mispronounced it at my wedding. :rolleyes: I have no intention of changing it, though, so I’ve had to add a bunch of standardized responses to my toolbox for dealing with the predictable mistakes and questions. I suggest you do the same; hence the above sample exchange.
Although I agree with the various posters here who have said that your professor’s behavior was totally unprofessional. Letting you be mocked in front of the class? What the hell was she thinking?
I feel for you, I have a name that’s butchered on a regular basis.
Elvira… yeah like the Mistress of the Dark…
It also doesn’t help that I have long dark hair, though I’m not quite as well endowed as she is.
And if it isn’t that comment, people just can’t pronounce it. I live in California, there’s a big latino influence, you’d think that with my VERY hispanic last name they’d think about how to pronounce it… but they don’t. When I was younger I was highly sensitive about it, I dreaded substitute teachers and I’d often end up crying, can you tell it was a really soft spot? Learn to live with it, I just kinda steel myself against the comments I know are coming and smile politely, it’s useless to get all torn up about it for the millionth time. Though I tend to go by my nickname so much that plenty of people are surprised when they realize it’s not my legal name… so that’s another option for you. When teachers or professors call my name and either mispronounce or stumble over it I merely supply them with my nickname.
Kitty
Receptionist: Who do you think you are, Zaphod Beeblebrox?
ZB: Count the heads.
R: THE Zaphod Beeblebrox?
ZB: Didn’t you hear? I come in 6-packs now.
Yarwitz, just because I don’t happen to agree with you, doesn’t mean I’m ignorant or uneducated about such things.
I’m against complaint filing. If you have to file a complaint every time someone makes fun of your name, you’ll be known not as the Tonya Harding (or whatever) who kneecapped Nancy Kerrigan, but as the Tonya Harding who files complaints whenever someone tries to be funny. “So are you the Tonya Harding who kneecapped Nancy Kerrigan, or the Tonya Harding that sues everyone that asks if you’re the Tonya Harding that kneecapped everyone. I not sure which I’m hoping for.” When I was in high school when the murders happened 20 miles away, the students were far too frightened to offend me. Weirdly this was the first time they had a good opening and didn’t, as if they had suddenly grown up. The teachers on the other hand (at least on of which had the twinkie killer as a student many years before – he kept quite) were suddenly comedians, and bad ones at that. There are in fact funny Dan White jokes, but after all this time, I’m the only one who remembers them, or why they are funny.
I’d suggest developing a thicker skin. You’re going to keep hearing it. If you want to humilliate them back, practice having no reaction, like my former employer Jim Jones, or have a couple snappy comeback lines such as suggested above. If you’d give us a link to your name, I’m sure that Fenris/Scylla or I could write you some original material.
Well, I’m thinking that sven (were she to do anything about this) isn’t going to go nuts every time some random person says something derogatory about her name. But fer chrissake, this is a professer at her school. He should know better than to insult a student on their first meeting based on her name.