cork-screw pig penis

[Irishman]

So this classic column reran. The original date is February 24, 1984. I began to wonder if a more recent search would be more successful.

http://137.222.110.150/calnet/abdpel11/page2.htm

This site appears to be an anatomy class on animal sex organs. It has all sorts of instructions for dissecting different animals’ genetalia. From this page:

What is unusual about the shape of the pig penis?

[from pop-up window]
Answer
Non-erect it has a single turn at its distal extremity and erect it has up to seven corkscrew-like turns.

But no picture.

http://cal.vet.upenn.edu/swine/abc.html
This is the “Swine Production Glossary” by the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine.

Penis fibro-elastic with no glans penis; the distal 5-6cm has a counter-clockwise coil which “locks” into the cervix of the female; the urethral orifice is a small slit 1 cm from the distal end of the penis; the sigmoid flexure is located cranial to the scrotum

No picture.

I consider it confirmed, but still want to see it. (Um, did I just say I want to see a pig penis? Sheesh.)

Okay, you would think with the internet, there would surely be a picture of a pig’s penis somewhere. But I’ve spent over an hour going through links, running various searches with combinations of the words “penis”, “pig”, “shape”, “anatomy”, and “picture”, and I can’t turn one up. Oh well.

However, you can imagine some of the links google found. Just looking at the excerpts google includes after each link gave some fun results.

How to Sex Guinea Pigs (Cavies)
… Young males have a donut shape around their rectum where … The testicle area is less
pronounced, but the penis can …

Sex and the single pig-faced boy
… House when men come rushing in for their year-end penis … plastic surgeon so he could
look more like a pig … The truth is, Chinese tradition says that the shape of …

10-234 LABS
… of a direct electrical current through the pig’s … Bunging - freeing the anus. Remove
penis or mammary

Ran by an Elite Team of Broccoli.
… you know, get in shape, gain some muscle mass. … penis deserves a goat, and every goat
deserves a penis!” “Actually, One of the key ingredients in the Pig …

Okay, anybody else think they can do better?

[Arnold_Winkelried]

Welcome to the SDMB, and thank thee for posting thy comment.
Please include a link to Cecil’s column if it’s on the Straight Dope web site.
To include a link, it can be as simple as including the web page location in thy post (make sure there is a space before and after the text of the URL).

Cecil’s column can be found on-line at this link:
Does a pig have a corkscrew-shaped penis? (24-Feb-1984)

The column can also be found on pages 60-62 of Cecil Adams’ book «The Straight Dope (1984; reissued 1986, 1998)».

---

moderator, «Comments on Cecil’s Columns»

[Arnold_Winkelried]

Irishman, you could try e-mailing the authors at this website

Your pig knowledge hub

They might be able to point you in the right direction.

[mighty_maxx]

I searched everywhere. I contacted the head of Veternary Illustrations at Purdue University, I"m waiting for his response. I did manage to find this.

[Duck_Duck_Goose]

…but ultimately a mostly unsuccessful one. Irish, I think you’re right–there aren’t any pix of boar penises out there, and furthermore, I think it’s a Dead White Male Pig Conspiracy to keep pictures of their wing-wangs off the Internet. I notice there are plenty of diagrams of sow genitals out there…
Google, “semen collection boars”.

To see a clinical, brightly lit picture of a man wearing rubber gloves collecting semen from a boar, go here http://www.ansc.purdue.edu/swine/porkpage/repro/pubs/basic2.htm and click on “Collect the Boar”. But you can’t see the “corkscrew glans”, just the length of the penis.
Google, “swine penis illustration”.

Sort of. A line drawing that doesn’t show much. It’s not erect and hanging out, but it’s definitely a penis with a twist.
http://www.ag.uiuc.edu/~vista/html_pubs/pigs/pigs.htm#ill

The page also has these gems [sound of female sniggering]:

Exposure to extreme cold, especially wind, can cause the same problems if the scrotum becomes frostbitten…If the testicle itself is frozen, sterility will be permanent.

Boar pens should be located where they will provide maximum exposure to the females to be bred. The presence of females helps stimulate the boars and keeps them interested in their work.

Males should not be abused or teased. They should be handled gently but firmly. They should never be rushed.

And under “Artificial Insemination”:

The boar may need several exposures to the dummy before he understands its purpose.

I love the Internet.

[Atreyu]

*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose *
penis with a twist

Aside from the semi-obligatory “band name” remark, as a male I feel the need to point out that the words “penis” and “twist” should NEVER be in the same sentence…except when the sentence involves instructions on what not to do with that particular organ.

Yow!

[rowrrbazzle]

also from the Purdue link:

Always allow the boar to complete his ejaculation (5-8 minutes). If you let loose too soon, be prepared for a challenge. He will not want to leave the dummy. You will make this mistake only once or maybe twice.

[Electronic_Chaos]

Actually, “penis with a twist” sounds more like a drink than a band name. “Bartender, double penis with a twist, on the rocks.”

[Lee_47]

Could this possibly explain the rumor that a pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes?

[Irishman]

Sorry, Arnold. I got so busy with google I forgot the most important link.

maxx,

Ducky, you were much more successful than I was. The picture from your first link is actually pretty good. You can’t see the tip, but if you look you can see the penis itself has a twist. You win!

rowrrbazzle, I noticed that line, too.

Lee 47, I did find this: http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_064b.html .

I think I have seen that 30 min rumor floating around on an email.

[Duck_Duck_Goose]

The Better Half wants you all to know that he thinks the SDMB is the home of many hopeless degenerates, his own wife included.

We had the following conversation this morning:

“So, what’s new with your friends at the Straight Dope?”
“Well, last night I spent an hour on Google, looking for a picture of a boar’s penis…”
“???”
[defensively] “It was for one of Cecil’s columns…”
“!!!”

[Chronos]

Ducky, I would have thought you’d have learned by now. The proper answer to that question is “You don’t want to know”.

[refusal]

I found another rather good drawing “50) Penis of boar. (A) Non - erectile state. (B) Erectile state.”

http://www.ucd.ie/~vetanat/images/50.gif

To give credit where it’s due, this is linked to from http://www.ucd.ie/~vetanat/images/image.html

I can’t find a photograph, but I imagine the structure won’t show up as clearly in a photo, and anatomical drawings are better for this kind of thing. Not that I’m an expert of course.

Also, apparently in chapter 2 of Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy, a woman throws a pig’s pezzle (or penis) at Jude. So these hogs’ knobs sure get around. I don’t think there was any reference to its shape though.

I also came across the claim that a pig’s penis curves clockwise in the northern hemisphere and clockwise in the south, but I think this might be an urban legend (that was searching rec.humor.oracle.d for “pig penis” but the URL was a monstrosity).

[refusal]

Duh, that should have been “counter-clockwise in the south”. Serves me right for trying to be flippant about so serious a subject.

[Northern_Piper]

*Originally posted by Irishman *
(Um, did I just say I want to see a pig penis? Sheesh.)

Not only do you want to see a picture of a pig penis, you want to see it in the erect state!

Words fail me!

[Abe]

Pretty amazing, this Internet thing. When I first read Cecil’s column I wanted to see for myself the anatomical wonders of these common farm animals. I came across a video clip of a massive male pig copulating roughly with a woman, but looking for simple non-pornographic visuals of the porcine penis proved to be a frustrating task.

You may have better luck if you search for pig porn rather than zoology pictures. Of course you’d then have to sift through the endless “free xxx” links.

If I may relate from my disgusting pig + woman viewing experience, it is a highly bizarre thing indeed. The pig’s penis was very thin and clearly corkscrew-shaped, and he was definitely “screwing it in” during copulation (in a clockwise manner if I remember correctly). After a few moments of screwing (literally, not metaphorically) and once properly engaged there would be a few quick thrusts and the screw-in process would begin again, because I think the penis slipped out of the woman’s vagina quite frequently (the human vagina being built in the hope of something NOT corkscrew-shaped).

[gkitf16]

Should we suppose, however morbidly, that perchance the passionate embrace of interlocking parts results in, shall we say, a cross-threading of said parts, a pitch mis-match, or (God forbid) stripped threads if the male hasn’t gotten any in weeks and just can’t contain himself?:eek::D:D:smack: Where would you get a Heli-Coil to repair THAT!!! Hello, Ace Hardware and Vet Supply…hold on a minute…hey Earl, I need a size 8 coarse thread again!