Dangerous Christmas Toys - 2004

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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I started a similar thread last year about this very subject. Sure you see these lists all the time but some things still slip through the watchful eye of consumer advocates. Here are some that made the 2003 list: (and thanks to all who participated)

[ul]
[li]Dr. Kevorkian’s Li’l Euthanasier[/li][li]Fisher-Price “My first Gas Oven Inspection” Kit[/li][li]Li’l Tykes “Running With Scissors Junior Olympics Relay Race”[/li][li]Mr Bubble’s “Rock and Roll Bathtub Electric Guitar” (includes 200 watt amplifier)[/li][li]The Fisher Price Tattoo Parlor (REAL WORKING TATTOO NEEDLES!)[/li][li]From Mattell, “Dodge That Shotput” - an interesting variation of DodgeBall[/li][li]“Marathon Man” Dentist Kit[/li][li]“My First Civil War Field Hospital” with real working bone saw[/li][li]Ted Kazinski’s “Fun Time Chemistry Set”[/li][li]Hasbro’s “Mr Grenade Head”[/li][li]Lil’ Tykes First X-Ray Machine[/li][li]Dr. Monoxide’s Indoor Internal Combustion Engine - learn how a real engine works![/li][li]Capt’n Patches Pirate Sun-gazing Spyglass[/li][li]Gallon o’ Mercury[/li][li]Crazy Kidz Stuntcar Driver Playset - contains booster seat and pedal extenders along with easty to read instructions for kids to use on mom or dad’s real car![/li][li]From Handy Andy Tools “My Little Nail Gun”[/li][li]Mattell’s Junior Deputy “I’m the Neighborhood FBI Informant” Badge[/li][li]Easy-Bake "Pint-Sized Meth Lab[/li]
… And don’t forget books:
[li]“The Milkshake Under The Kitchen Sink” - Kevorkian Kids Interactive Books[/li][li]“Pretty Girls Don’t Eat” - Julie Bulimia, Young Adults Classics[/li][/ul]

Thanks to all who helped uncover these toys of terror. Still, that was last year, so please submit your choices for 2004.

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Salem Witch Discovery Kit - Matches sold separately.

My Lil’ Defibrillator

Quickly Quickfinger - The game of rabid badgers.

Juggle Chainsaws in 10 Easy Minutes DVD

Urban Bimbo Roofies Lab

3

One Eyed Pete’s Lawn Darts Xtreme
Charlton Heston’s My First Skeet Kit (for children 2-8)
Lil’ OJ Knife Set
Roman Polanski’s My First Doll House.

4

Uncle Milton’s Fire Ant Farm

Ch-ch-ch-Chia ‘Medicinal’ Herb Garden

“Li’l Lush” Working Microbrewery Set

My First Phlebotomy Kit

Spiderman!! Wall Crawling Suction Cups

5

STD Clinic Barbie
Little Jedi’s Make-Your-Own Real Working Lightsaber Kit
Little Tykes Working Dentist Drill
Mattel Plastic Surgery Kit with My First Botox

(BTW, got a link to last year’s thread?)

6

The Little Shop of Horrors Flower Seeds Pack
Curse Like 'Em - Marshall Mathers, Illustrated Dictionary
Porsche Brown’s 8" Scissors

7

Owens Corning Pink Panther Cotton Candy Maker

Li’l Prestone Snow Cone Factory - Now with chartreuse syrup!

8

An Aunt Farm.

Hasbro’s “My first orbital lobotomy” kit - complete with ice pick and mirror.

9

My Own Turkey Fryer Kit

Li’l Electrician Wall Outlet Repair Kit

Uncle Vanilla Dogg’s Car Prowl Set With FREE Gas Siphon!

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Also, the popular book, “So, You’ve Found the Key to Daddy’s liquor cabinet.”

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Another popular book, “Daddy Has a Mistress, Mommy Doesn’t Know: Your Guide to Getting Anything You Want.”

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Okay, we’re off to a good start.
Guinastasia wanted a link to the 2003 list and here it is:

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Tonka Toddler Trepanation

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Books:

Gary Glitter’s Fun Guide to the Web

Daddy drinks because you cry

Other Items:

My Little Drugs Mule-Complete with condoms and either heroin or cocaine!

The Little Tykes Big Ol’ Block of Sodium

Fun With Mercury (includes 250ml of shiny liquid metal to get you started!)

Shake ‘n’ Bake-Coprophagy Edition

Dress Up Osama- Complete with fake beard and turban (robes sold seperately)

Action Man-Abu Ghraib Playset

(damn I have a sick mind)

15

My Very Own Bed o’ Nails
Li’l Snake Charmer Kit with Flute, Basket and Live Cobra
Learn to Walk on Fire–Includes Coals and Lighter Fluid

16

Play Dough plastic explosives kit.

Toddler Time jewelry set with real working body piercing gun.

Gerber plastic bedding and dry cleaning bags.

My Little Pony artificial insemination kit.

Hasbro Emergency Room Operation. Remove bullets, sex toys, and knives for points.

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Hot Wheels Chop Shop (additional cars not included, available for “purchase” separately)

My First Streetwalker Barbie

Poison Dart Frog Habitat

Legos Really Really Sharp Blocks

My First Vivisection Kit
Books:
Taxidermy for Toddlers
Barbie Visits the Gulag
Barney the Dinosaur’s Guide to Small Edible Mammals

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**Hungry Hungry Herpes

Newts and Adders

My Pointy Pony

Transformers**

19

Trunk
I take it when you said “Transformers”, you were not talking about those sissy toy robots that were availbale some years ago. I’m sure you meant real transformers. The kind you might find at your local power company’s sub-station or at least the smaller versions that are found at the top of “phone” poles.

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I want that lightsaber kit!