I appreciate all the responses to my posting a week ago about Dangerous Christmas Toys. Still, parents should be aware of toys that are so boring, children will lose interest very quickly. Here’s some to get you started:
3 Stooges Action Figures - Kids think the 3 Stooges are boring ??? Well, this set contain 3 Stooges all right - Shemp, Joe Besser, and Curly Joe DeRita.
Mr Wizard’s “Paperweight Adventure Kit”
Learn the intricate scientific principles of paperweights, the history of paperweights, and includes most of the materials you will need to build your very own paperweight !!!
Hungry Hungry Sloths - So realistic, each game takes weeks to play!!!
Play-Dough™ Speed-Bump Construction Kit - Teaches children the difficult engineering challenges of speed-bump construction. Also, kids will learn the values of safe responsible driving at reasonable speeds.
Baseball Trivia Game - Think this is about home run hitters, fast ball pitchers and such? No !! This game teaches the arcane technicalities of America’s pasttime. Learn about the balk, the dropped 3rd strike, the infield fly rule, ground rule doubles. Guaranteed to make your kid the life of the party when he says "The dropped 3rd strike is one of 5 ways you can get on base without hitting the ball. Includes a special tribute section “Great Moments In Fan Interference”.
Gee just to give you folks a little more encouragement - here’s another boring toy: Seasonal Affective Disorder Barbie - She sleeps a lot, than watches some television, then she sleeps some more, etc.
The Lint Craft Workshop: Make fashionable purses, scarfs, brooches, and much much more, all from ordinary dryer lint!
Box of Crayons (Special Sepia Selection): Black, charcoal, gray, silver (not metallic; this is another shade of gray), brown, beige, burnt sienna, raw sienna, burnt umber, raw umber, tan, bittersweet, mahogany, almond, desert sand, and white.
From Parker Brothers - “Planning Your Retirement” game. All kinds of fun stuff to do. Investigate IRA’s and 401-K plans. Uh-oh watch out you don’t land on the dreaded “Aggressive Growth Fund” square. And too bad your “Emerging Market” funds crashed and now you have to decide if you want to spend what little money you have left on heating or eating. So what if “Junior” is only 8 ? Tell him he only has 53 more years to think about this stuff.
CIA Photo Analyst Spy Kit: The thrill of the hunt as you examine thousands and thousands of grainy, black and white photos of unremarkable terrain searching for something that is a little different than the last time that photo was taken.
Hours of fun for your kids watching their very own pet snails in this new multi-level habitat including top-level penthouse, exercise wheel, and “snooze tube” (great for when you snail needs some “private time” for sleep). Additional connector pieces available to turn multiple habitats into a complete community complex for multiple snail families and their offspring.
Also availble: oval racetrack for training the professional racing snail (great for winning bar bets!), and new & improved snail maze with moveable walls (a shoe-in for the Junior High Science Fair!)
“Slime-B-Gone” cleaning wipes available at fine pet shops everywhere.
From the makers of the DeerHunter video game…SnipeHunter! Complete with simulated snipe-bag and snipe-call. With the…“unique” prey simulation and "middleonight"™ lighting engine, expect a performance of 900 fps on most systems!
I was hoping DC would get them so we could see Bizarro Chick… wait, that would be redundant. Notice to all Chick fans, the new tract will be out Monday January 3rd!
State-Farm L’il Insurance Salesaman Kit tell all your friend how long until they die with real actuarial tables.
I had a pet snail in college, actually, and he rocked on toast. I rescued him from the middle of a parking lot. My roommate and I made a little terrarium and we brought him lettuce leaves from the dining hall. When you put a piece of lettuce in the terrarium he made a bee-line for it (at a snail’s pace, true, but he made good time) and then he’d drive back and forth on it in lines, like mowing a lawn, chowing down. He lived a happy snail-life for a couple months.
I noticed other posters have mentioned snail racing and assorted snail activities. For those that cannot stand the breakneck, whirlwind lives of snails there’s always “Look at that Glacier Go !!!” - from Milton Bradley
As an extension to the Roller Coaster Tycoon/Zoo Tycoon game line, we have Lawn Tycoon. Apply fertilizer and watch your grass grow - in real time. A special feature lets you zoom in to watch the thatch. Hours of entertainment.
"Hollywood Squares" - Kids Edition - A scaled-down version of the TV show, it only has one square - and the celebrity is Ben Gazara. Kids will have endless hours of fun when they yell “I’ll take Ben Gazara for the block”. “I’ll take Ben Gazara for the win”. Also loads of fun when they find out that Ben Gazara is also the Secret Square !!! And let’s face it - isn’t Ben Gazara the favorite celebrity of kids everywhere?
Lil’ Tikes Chemistry Set: Safety First Edition
What child doesn’t dream of the glamorous world of international chemistry? Creating polymers, titrating acids, discovering new molecules! But before any little scientist can enter the exciting world of chemistry, he must first learn the rules of safety and protocol. This chemistry set comes complete with exciting labs, such as; Your Lab Notebook and You, A Clean Lab Bench is an Organized Lab Bench, Proper Lab Coat Techniques (part 1), Proper Lab Coat Techniques (part 2), Proper Lab Coat Cleaning Techniques, and Filling Out Internal Purchase Orders. Your children will enjoy hours of fun while simultaneously learning important scientific techniques.