Most well-known sex joke?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I can’t for the life of me remember how this conversation started at work, but I thought EVERYONE had heard this joke:

1st person: Do you smoke after sex?
2nd person: I don’t know. I’ve never looked.

But I’ve been astounded that fewer than half the people I’ve asked say they’ve heard it before. I’ve heard this joke in movies and on TV. I haven’t had any issues with people being offended, in fact most who say they hadn’t heard it burst out laughing when I told them.

Which means two things to me. One is that I need to back to my dustbin of old jokes that I gave up telling at about age 12, figuring everybody has heard them. There’s probably still amusement to be had.

2nd, is there a better known sex joke?

Please keep it reasonably clean given the forum. Besides, really well known jokes probably aren’t all that filthy… Anyway, use a spoiler box if you feel you must.

2

1st person: Cream in your coffee?
2nd person: Not lately.

3

“What’s a blowjob?”
“Five dollars. Same as in town.”

4

I haven’t heard ANY of these jokes! I have a feeling regionality might have something to do with it though.

5

“Because Thursday’s your turn in the barrel.”

“That’s how you wave a towel!”

6

Do you talk to your husband/wife after sex?
Sometimes, if there’s a phone nearby.

7

Three men want to visit a prostitute, but they only have enough money for one of them.
So the chosen guy goes in to her room.

After a while he staggers out, bent double in agony.

“What happened?”

"Well she was beautiful and sexy. She got me undressed, gave me a relaxing massage, then when I was well aroused she opened a tin of pineapple rings. :confused: She slid them, one by one, onto my throbbing member. :eek: Then she added whipped cream, and started licking her lips. :cool: "

“WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?!”

“It looked so good, I ate it myself…”

8

A man in Boston holds his groin as he stumbles towards the street, flagging a passing taxi.

The taxi pulls over, and the man jumps in. “Take me to a hospital”, he cries.

“Peter Bent?” ask the cabbie. (Implying the famous Peter Bent Brigham hospital in beantown)

“Bent? I think she bit it off!”

9

HE: “Would you sleep with me for $1,000,000?”

SHE: “Um … well, I guess if you really had a million bucks.”

HE: “Okay, I don’t, but how about $5?”

SHE: “I should say not! What kind of person do you think I am?”

HE: “Madam, we have already established that – all we are doing now is dickering over your price.”

10

So far I hadn’t heard the towel joke or the Peter Bent joke. The latter is regional (though I got it even though I skipped reading the parenthetical note.)

Of the ones posted, I think the OP’s is the most well-known. freckafree’s is one of my ‘old standards’.

11

A traveling salesman’s car breaks down on a rural road right near a farmhouse.

The farmer tows the car in with his tractor, and tells the salesman he’ll have to sleep there overnight before he can get him or his car into town.

He calls his nubile daughter, and the three of them begin searching the area for a punchline that has not already been used with this joke.

12

Through unusual circumstances, the husband discovers his wife has been cheating on him. Usually with the milkman.

13

And the nun says “I’m not gargling that after Sister Assumpta’s had her arse in it!”

14

Sor… Presa!

(speaking of nuns)

15

Women have three kinds of orgasms.

Positive- Oh yes! Oh yes!

Negative-Oh no! Oh no!

Religious-Oh God! Oh God!

And fake- Oh Boyo Jim! Oh Boyo Jim!

(Apologies to the OP, you were convenient to ridicule.)

16

“We usually ride the horse to the house of ill repute in town.”

17

“Give me four shots of whiskey.”
“What’s the occasion.”
“My first blow job.”
“Congratulations, have one on the house.”
“No thanks. If four shots won’t kill the taste nothing will.”

18

“Very well, you are sentenced to death by ooga booga!”

19

“Ok, now where’s the bitch with the toothache?”

20

“I imagine you’ll be wanting the bridal, then?”

“No, I’ll just hold onto her ears until she gets used to it.”