A spin-off of Oakminster’s thread. I just wanna learn some new dirty jokes. There’s no such thing as a joke too dirty for this thread. Anything goes. I’ll begin with the nastiest joke I know.
Two fishermen are sitting by a lake enjoying the tranquility over a couple of beers. Although they were both regulars, the first fisherman had noticed that for the past couple of weeks the second fisherman had been consistently arriving before him, and going home later. So he asked
“What’s the matter buddy? Trouble at home?”
“Not really” the second fisherman replied “I’m actually on my honeymoon”.
“Your honeymoon?” The first guy exclaimed “Then why aren’t you back home shafting your wife?”
“Nah mate” he replied “She’s got syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes, crabs, the lot. I wouldn’t touch it with yours!”
“Okay” the first guy said hesitantly, shifting slightly further away from him “Well…couldn’t you take her up the ass?”
“Fuck no!” his friend said, shuddering “She’s haemorrhoids, piles, constant diarrhoea, you name it. Plus, she shits so violently that it’s kinda pushed her asshole out, so her rectum just sorta hangs there. I call her ‘Blossom’.”
“Oh, Christ!” the first guy exclaimed “Well…for fucks sake, mate, couldn’t you at least get her to give you a blowjob or something?”
“No way” said the second fisherman “On the one hand, she hasn’t got any teeth, but on the other hand, she’s got pyhorrea, halitosis, ulcers, oral thrush. God, it’s a mess in there.”
“Well then why’d you fucking marry her then?!?”
“For the maggots”.