The re-awakening of the zombie thread on being cheated out your inheritance made me wonder how many people are counting on some form of inheritance from their parents or grandparents. Maybe counting on is too strong of a phrase. So are you going to be disappointed if you get nothing, or if everything goes to someone or group of people not including yourself.
All of my grandparents are passed. I was able to receive a few sentimental items from their possessions, like photos and other non valuable things that I have to remember them. My dad’s parents really had nothing of financial value left when they died. And what my mother’s parents had was split between my mom and her brother, no quibbling or arguing.
I actually expect my parents to split their estate evenly between my brother, sister and I. But, if they decided to give it all away, or all of it to either of my siblings and none to me, I really wouldn’t have too much heartache over it. They are both in their 70’s, so it could be a while before I found out. I have tried to live my life where I am not and won’t be dependent on other’s including the government for any future support.
Nope. In fact, I have been actively discouraging my mother from planning any sort of inheritance for us. I keep telling her that she’s worked very hard and should spend her retirement in care-free extravagance!
I’ll be disappointed if she dies with a dime to her name.
Not counting on an inheritence, nor do I think I deserve some portion of my parent’s money that I did nothing to earn. I hope they enjoy the money they’ve earned.
That said, I would be disapointed if I didn’t receive anything. They have some healthy savings and it would change my life.
I see it as a sort of lottery that you don’t really want to win, as it means your parents have died.
I don’t expect anything from my grandparents, as we aren’t close. I didn’t receive anything from my father’s parents.
In my family what you expected to inherit were family heirlooms. A pocket watch, a painting, a carved table - things like that. I was not brought up with any financial expectations.
Through the years I have encountered family situations that make it clear that many, many people DO feel entitled to whatever their parents have. It baffles me.
One fight I remember in particular centered around a man my age, who lived in his parents’ basement in NY. His folks wanted to sell the house and retire to Florida. He raise a fuss. Said the house was his “birthright” and he wouldn’t get out. Broke his mother’s heart, but she did have a big hand in why he turned out with such an overdeveloped sense of entitlement.
Another friend of mine grew up with parents who have made clear throughout her life that she and all her siblings will inherit money when they die. I think that’s a mistake. Should the people responsible for your health care know ahead of time that they’ll each get $200k when you croak? Someone might not rush with your inhaler.
Another guy I know took some pretty big financial risks bolstered by the assumption that his parents, who were then in their 80s would kick off soon and he’d be rolling in dough. His parents are now in their 90s and he’s lost his business and his wife.
I would be pleased to check out in a way that requires little of my son as far as straightening out my affairs, and that he might get a windfall that would allow him to take a really nice vacation, or buy a room of new furniture with his future hypothetical family.
My parents are divorced. I probably won’t get jack squat. If I do, it’ll be a nice surprise, but I’m not counting on anything.
I’m *definitely *not counting on anything from my mom. She just went onto long-term disability due to blindness (diabetic retinopathy), and is on the fast track to qualifying for SSDI as a result. She’s probably going to have to sell her house within the next 12 months. She’s only 50. Likely she’ll live another 10-25 years (our family tends to be short-lived). I don’t expect there to be anything left when she’s gone, and have told her as much–enjoy your money while you can, don’t save it for me!
Not sure about my dad, at all. I don’t know in the first place whether he will even have any money to leave. But even if he does, I’m not sure whether he intends to leave me anything. I haven’t been in touch with him in years, because of what he put me through as a kid. There’s a chance he may feel guilty enough to include me in his will (despite the fact that I’d rather be homeless in the gutter than call him), but I’m not holding my breath. If my sister is named as his sole heir, I’d like to think she might give me something from the estate, given that she has been emotionally supportive of my refusal to contact him. But I’m not willing to risk my relationship with her over cash. Maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll die intestate.
Anything my parents have to leave (their house and whatever’s in it) will end up with my brother. He was the one who got married and had a family so they’ll get everything while my sister and I get the shaft. This has already been explained to us in no uncertain terms. It’s pretty fucked up frankly but it was not unexpected.
My grandparents are all long gone. The only grandparent that lived long enough for me to remember left behind $10,000, split three ways between myself and my two siblings.
“Counting on”? No. I’m not planning on it and if there is nothing, I will be fine. But I do know that they want to split it evenly among me and my sister, and I’m sure they will also donate some amount. I just hope they live a long and happy life, and if they use it all up, more power to them, they have been good parents.
Counting on? depending on? feeling entitled to? no
Expect that there will be something to inherit? yes, because I know my parents (well, just my mom now), and I know the will. I am the executor when the time comes. That being said, I love that my mom is doing a lot of travelling and spending the money she and my dad worked so hard for. I just wish my dad would have had more time to enjoy it, too.
We did inherit a nice amount from my in-laws, and a small amount from my grandmother. We were thankful, but at the same time it was strange, spending money someone else had worked hard for.
I’m not counting on it – we have an income that will be sufficient to maintain our current standard of living, although it’s going to be a little hair-raising when the kids hit college age in about 15 years. I certainly expect that my parents will leave the bulk of their estate to me and my sister, and probably my in-laws will do the same for my wife and brother-in-law. In either case, esp. that of my in-laws, it might be a big windfall, but we’ve never discussed it, and my wife and I don’t make plans based on it materializing someday.
I’m an only child. My mother doesn’t have any money, but she has a little 2-bdr/1-bath rental house (we used to live there; now she lives in an apartment). She refers to it as “The Estate.” My parents bought it in 1964 for ~$13,000; its market value right this second is probably $40K. That’s the whole ball of wax.
I told my dad to die broke. I did not need or want any of his wealth or possessions, and he worked hard in life and deserved to enjoy himself. He did not heed my advice and so only after he was gone I learned what he had. It was not a lot, but my brother sure felt entitled to half of everything, even tho he did not raise a finger to help dad, or spend any time with him during his final months, and sure was not around to deal with arrangements and aftermath, etc. Bro even kept track of dad’s inheritances over the years (while probably rubbing his hands together). Dad arranged for a not-even split of things and that developed into a problem with my brother.
All I can say it that parents and adult children should have an honest discussion about this - what you do not want to have, as in my situation, is for people to be surprised by your decisions after you are gone, and leave it to someone who is already grieving to try to defend and explain your decision. No, I am not bitter.
Not expecting anything from my parents. If anything, I’m worried about how exactly they’re going to make it. Same for my dad’s mom, whose husband died in 1999.
My mom’s mom, my beloved grandma who I lived with for a bit, recently passed away. I have what I really wanted - good memories, photos, and a few beloved household items (blankets, inexpensive jewelry, etc). I’m told I’ve got something more substantial coming when I’m 25. Whatever it is, I’ll be grateful. When her husband (my step-grandfather) passes, I think there’ll be more, but if there isn’t, that’s fine. They’ve been extraordinarily generous already. I’d gladly give back all the stuff just to still have her.
My grandfather outlived all three of his children, so he has set up a memorial fund in their names. He has specified that this money go to charity, and every Christmas, he has his grandchildren pick out some charities to donate some of the fund money to. He has very clearly let me know that we grandchildren will inherit this fund when he dies, and it has made me take a more thorough and critical look at some of the charities I’ve heard about.
I’m not counting on anything, but it’s a point of sadness for me.
My parents have a home with property. They moved in before I was born and I grew up there, never had lived anywhere else. My parents told me numerous times as I grew up that the little ranch would be mine someday. Then my ma died when I was 22, and my father married a lady who is somewhat disturbed. She really dislikes me and thinks I’m out to get her, and that I want to steal from her. I’m a really nice person and I’d never steal, but Dad is very passive and does not intervene when she accuses me of things. My dad refuses to do any estate planning, and he’s quite a bit older than her, so I figure he’ll go first and she will have nothing further to do with me, and anything left after she goes will go to her own daughter.
I’m not angry about not getting an inheritance, I just feel kind of abandoned by my father, and that makes me sad. It’s taken me years to come to terms with “losing” my childhood home, and I still have nightmares of the day when it’s sold and likely bulldozed.
My mom died last year. She had saved a bunch for retirement and then never retired. I’ve discussed my dad’s estate with him. He’s saved up enough that he makes more in interest and investments than he spends, so there’ll probably be a healthy balance left over. I’m not in a hurry to see it.
Neither of them are misers, though. Mom traveled a lot in the last decade. Dad and my stepmother retired to Phoenix and leave town in their RV during the hot weather. He’s free to spend every penny, and he knows that; but he seems to have everything he needs or wants already. All that boring financial talk of putting a little bit away for a long time is true. It paid off for them and I’m kinda the same way. None of us are the first-class and caviar types.
I suppose what would bother me is if my stepmother outlives my dad and overrides his wishes. She has a daughter she’s estranged from. If she rewrote things to give everything to her daughter, I wouldn’t appreciate it, but I don’t foresee that happening.
I am expecting to inherit 1/4 of my parents estate when they die, because that’s what they’ve told us will happen. My mom spends a lot of time going through jewelry and earmarking who’ll get what, and gets very disappointed when I tell her I don’t want anything. (I don’t wear much jewelry and it’s freaking morbid.)
They don’t have much in cash or investments, but do have a retirement property they built a large home on, with outbuildings and lots of vehicles, ATVs and such. So the total value will probably be pretty decent. The problem will be that out of four siblings, two won’t want the property and two will, and the two that will won’t have any way to buy the other two out. So, either we’ll fight about it and drag things through probate lawyers and such, or two of us will bow out with nothing and leave it to the others to fight over.
My stupid dad will probably die before his stupid fifth wife and I’m sure she’ll leave all his money to her stupid kids, so whatever. His lack of prioritizing his real kids is why we’re not close. If I sound callous, I’m not. I’m very worried for when he dies because I’ll feel so guilty for not being close with him even though it’s his own fault.
I’m sure my mom and stepdad will leave their money to my sisters and me (and maybe our kids), and I would be very hurt if for some reason they didn’t, but if they just didn’t *have *any money to leave, I wouldn’t be upset about that, just extremely upset about the fact that they died. I’m terrified of the thought of my mom dying and even if she was leaving me millions, that would be no consolation. I’d fall apart so much that there’s no way I’d be able to enjoy any money.