The Ballad of Larry the Loser, Part 2

Part 1 here
Larry,
Spreading Comet Cleanser on toilet seats, throwing stuff on the floor* and indiscriminately sweeping what YOU feel is trash into a pile, and throwing items down-stairs IS NOT cleaning. It is making the same mess in a different area and it is a passive-aggressive way of saying “Fuck you, you’re going to do what I WANT YOU TO DO!”
Well, James, I would be happy to follow your examples, except for a few small questions and difficulties First, OUR house is for not from “Better Homes and Gardens.” I apologize in advance and wish you luck in your own home. Please let me know when and where you find your accommodations that are equal to these in monetary terms that will also put up with your “assholishness.”
I also thank you for your advice in raising our children. If it wasn’t for the fact that your daughter/my wife for fifteen years was taken from you by the state of California after you left her by herself for three days when she was eleven, I might take your suggestions seriously. If only your neighbors at the time hadn’t noticed the child walking to the mini-mart to buy herself food, you might be the stereotypical American family. I congratulate you on at least leaving her money.
Except, of course, for the fact that, at one point, you two were homeless and living in a Buick (Hey, she had the whole back-seat…) Well, my children were born and raised in apartments (not cars) until we purchased a house.
So, after we moved into the house, your sorry ass moves in . You get the finished part of the basement (and the garage). I only agreed to the basement, but because all the crap you brought, I agreed to the garage too. Yes, I was an idiot.
Well, now, we have two running cars, and a toy for me. By toy, I mean a car that I can work on when I want to, how I want to. You want me to park my “toy” in the dirt next to the driveway so you can use the driveway to fix cars for an extra buck.
SO, for about three hundred a month, you want two finished rooms, a garage/storage area, a driveway, and your will to be done.
Larry, FUCK YOU!
(This post was printed out and pinned to the same wall where he wrote, in my oldest daughter’s stolen blue eyeliner “Clean this shithole Dont test me fool[sic]”)

  • When I came home today, a FUCKING FRYING PAN was on the floor, swept into a pile along with miscellaneous leaves that the dog and cats had carried in. The pan was used for burgers last night. It had some grease in the bottom. HE tossed it on the floor and swept it into a pile that included leaves and a dog food can lid that missed the trash can.

Like my daddy said, when I told him I was marrying my first wife, “Son, you marry the family.”

Yeah. That’s 100% factual. You even marry the damn friends, too.

More of a broadside ballad… HIYO!!!

Boundaries, baby, boundaries.

Why is this guy still living with you? $300 a month doesn’t sound nearly enough to deal with his assholishness. Is there no way for you to make him move out?

I suggest frequent meetings with a cattle prod. To the face.

He’s his wife’s dad. I don’t think the amount of rent matters all that much. He can’t just kick him out, and since the guy can only come up with $300 a month, getting him a new place might be undoable. D.E.S.K.Top668 is pretty much screwed here.

OP, you have my sympathies.

Hi-dee hi-dee hi-dee hi! (Hi-dee hi-dee hi-dee hi!)
Ho-dee ho-dee ho-dee ho! (Ho-dee ho-dee ho-dee ho!)

I was thinking just this morning about starting a thread to bitch about in-laws. I now see that my complaints are miniscule in comparison to yours.

I’ll just be over here nursing the tiny flame of my ire.

Sometimes you get screwed by them too.

Dude seriously? Man up and kick that motherfucker out. Your house should be your refuge.

In all honesty, if it was that bad on a regular basis, I might have to throw an ultimatum to my husband, whom I love dearly and is my best friend. But if there are kids involved, they shouldn’t have to part of that, to say nothing of the lessons they’re learning. Even if you do your best, your kids are absorbing life lessons on how to behave from their gramps. Even if it’s just that it’s acceptable to be a doormat with a flair for the dramatic.

No one should have to live that way, dude.

I noticed your other pit was back in 2010.

You must have the patience of a saint.