Thanks for asking, but No, I don’t want to hold your goddamn baby. And when you ask me in 2 minutes if I’m sure, I still won’t want to hold your goddamn baby. What’s that you say? I show more affection to your dog than I do your goddamn baby? That’s something. How about that. I’ll tell you what: YOU hold your goddamn baby!
Happy Holidays.
Yeah, but you have to admit that it’s the cutest baby everrrrrrr, right?
The least you could do is link to a photo of you holding the goddamn baby.
John: That may be what they thought, but it looked like your regular run of the mill baby to me.
Jackmannii: I didn’t hold the goddamn baby.
The dog was nice.
I don’t want to see your baby photos either. All babies look alike, and so do the pictures.
Once you hold someone’s baby, they’ve got you for child support.
You like dogs better than most people you’ve met too huh…
i used to be the best drop kicker back in high school. wanna see?
I don’t want to hold your baby. I don’t want to watch you talk baby talk to your baby. I don’t want to smell your baby. Guess I better be going…
Yes, but where do you stand on just eating him right up?
I’ve gotten very skilled, over the years, at hiding behind Aunt Margaret, the moment one of the cousins comes anywhere near, carrying the latest baby. If that fails, I’ll go around to the other side of the dinner table. I’ve even been known to duck under the dinner table, just to keep some safe distance.
Babies are…moist…
Interesting way to speak to your wife. 
Yeah he really is breathtaking.
I thought Elaine was breathtaking!
Well, you will feel differently after you have one of your own!
My suggestion is to always be holding the dog, that way your arms are full. What, the dog is a full grown St Bernard? So just sit on the floor…then your arms and lap is full.
Human babies are boring. Let me hold a kitten.
Court order be damned! Of course I’ll hold your baby.
All I’m gonna say is, if Joseph had been a better father and held the kid, maybe Jesus wouldn’t have had all those daddy issues and we wouldn’t be in this fucking mess.
Am I allowed to juggle the baby?
My response to these threads, having been the parent of a newborn, is, “well I don’t want to LET your germy ass hold my baby. Everybody’s happy!”