Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-12-2001, 02:43 PM
Carnac the Magnificent! Carnac the Magnificent! is offline
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Netherfield Park
Posts: 3,021
The problem with wearing business socks (or any socks) every day is that the constant rubbing eventually wears the hair off one's ankle area. While this is not a problem Monday through Friday, on weekends at the beach or elsewhere, these hairless look weird.

Short of having hair transplantation, does anybody know how to combat/prevent this dread affliction? I usually wear dark, calf-length Gold Toe socks, or a comparable English brand. Sandals or flipflops won't cut it in my profession, and going sockless is a definite no-no.
Old 10-12-2001, 02:53 PM
Corrvin Corrvin is offline
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
Posts: 779
Try looser socks, and (I'm not familiar with the brand you cite, so I may be off base here) also try wearing cotton socks instead. I wear socks almost every day, and alas, I still end up shaving my ankles. Also, try moisturizing your legs so that the hair isn't rubbing between dry sock and dry skin. I'm not suggesting greasing them up, just a little more moisture.

Old 10-12-2001, 02:57 PM
Kamandi Kamandi is offline
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 1,631
Try wearing sock liners under your socks. Liners are very thin, kind of a stocking material - usually nylon or polypropylene or somesuch, and only cost a few bucks a pair.

I wear them under hiking socks to prevent blisters. The liners kind of grip my skin, so any friction or rubbing occurs between the liner and the outer sock, not between the sock and my foot.

I'd imagine this would also prevent hair loss.

Of course, you could always shave your legs...
Old 10-12-2001, 02:59 PM
evilhanz evilhanz is offline
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 1,176
Interstingly, this problem also affects gym teachers.
Old 10-12-2001, 03:08 PM
Kamandi Kamandi is offline
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 1,631
Why not do what all the other hairless-ankled businessmen do and wear your socks to the beach?
Old 10-12-2001, 03:31 PM
Anal Scurvy Anal Scurvy is offline
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 784
There is the option of strutting around a beach with your hairless ankles and, if anyone says anything ("Hey, silly businessman, where's your hair?") just shoot them a blank look. Examine yourself, then pretend to realize they must be referring to your ankles. Just laugh and thump them on the back, "Oh, I guess you've never met a professional kickboxer before!"
Old 10-12-2001, 04:27 PM
'Uigi 'Uigi is offline
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: pluffmudville
Posts: 317
1. Wear boat shoes; no socks. If the client doesn't like it tell him to FO.

2. Tattoo your feet/legs to mid-calf in a pleasing Argyle pattern. When at the beach, you could claim the tattoos are the custom of British royalty. (Alternately, use temporary wash-off "tattoos".)

3. Have a sex change operation. That way, you wouldn't have to wear "socks", you'd be expected to shave you're legs, and, I'll bet that panty hose don't chafe quite as much.

4. Apply liberal quantities of Petroleum Jelly (scented if preferred) to your feet/ankles.

5. Give two weeks notice.
Old 10-12-2001, 05:32 PM
Muffin Muffin is offline
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Great White North
Posts: 20,088
First, feed your ankles with Rogaine.

Second, carefully weave your now copious ankle hair.

Third, dye your woven ankle hair black.

Forth, if anyone asks, tell them you are wearing angora socks.
Old 10-12-2001, 07:06 PM
mnemosyne mnemosyne is offline
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Montréal, Québec
Posts: 8,772
I don't know what the big deal is. My SO has naturally hairless ankles, and I think it's sexy. But maybe that's just me...
Old 10-12-2001, 08:15 PM
bibliophage bibliophage is offline
Charter Member
Charter Member
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Maine
Posts: 10,279
I smell a business opportunity. Somebody could make a killing. Ankle-Toupee®, $19.99 + s&h. Ron Popeil, where are you?
Old 10-12-2001, 08:19 PM
mipsman mipsman is offline
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: New York, NY USA
Posts: 501
I thought ankles were naturally bald? If socks can remove ankle hair, wouldn't that give some credibility to the idea that male pattern baldness is because that is where your head rubs against the pillow.
Old 10-12-2001, 08:54 PM
Laughing Lagomorph Laughing Lagomorph is offline
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Banks of the Assabet
Posts: 3,906
Three words: paint-on socks.
Old 10-12-2001, 09:39 PM
shine shine is offline
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 5
or, just go ahead and shave the rest of your legs... some chicks dig that.
Blue Skies...
Old 10-12-2001, 10:41 PM
Terminus Est Terminus Est is offline
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: The tropics
Posts: 6,835
I don't get it. How hairy is the rest of your body, that your hairless ankles stand out so much?
Old 10-12-2001, 11:06 PM
Ringo Ringo is offline
Charter Member
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Houston, TX, USA
Posts: 11,261
I'm with mipsman, as a life long wearer of b'ness attire (including socks), I thought my ankles were naturally hairless.

I will say I've never been to the beach and thought, "Hmmm..., ::snicker:: look at that guy with the hairless ankles!"
Old 10-12-2001, 11:34 PM
OxyMoron OxyMoron is offline
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: New York City Boy
Posts: 2,524
C'mon, Term, haven't you ever noticed it - in a locker room, on the beach? A guy doesn't have to be a fur ball for the contrast to kinda pop out.

'Course, I'm gay and a legs man, so I spend more time looking. Guys in's about the only redeeming thing about summer, y'know?

Anyway, I've been wondering about this for a long time - is it really just from sock friction? Do the poor follicles choke to death? What a helluva way to die: Hosiery Asphyxiation.

I've been lucky, it's not too evident yet on me. But I have a couple of odd factors: first, I have big calves, so my socks are always falling down. (No, I will not wear garters, or whatever the hell they're called, they make a man look 97, and no, I will not wear knee-highs, as they're invariably tight and itchy.) Second, I get out of my work socks as soon as I possibly can, and put on some nice, soft, loose cotton athletic socks.
Old 10-13-2001, 12:29 AM
Terminus Est Terminus Est is offline
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: The tropics
Posts: 6,835
Er, I don't particularly have the urge to stare at men's hairy bodies on the beach. Too busy staring at the women, donchaknow?

Besides, my ankles are hairless and I so thought everyone else's were. Do y'all have hairy feet as well?
Old 10-13-2001, 12:49 AM
Violet Violet is offline
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: USA
Posts: 3,231
I wouldn't think less of a guy who has this condition. It's his mind that's more important.
Old 10-13-2001, 01:23 AM
BigGiantHead BigGiantHead is offline
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Houston-ish, TX, USA
Posts: 335
I dunno about this whole sock-driven depilation theory. I also wear socks every day, albeit cotton many times. Still, a number of them are quite close-fitting. Just to verify my theory, I peeled today's pair off, and the hairline, while indeed above the ankle, is also below the sockline. And these are about as tall as most I wear. I also have fairly hairly legs, and don't think it looks at all unnatural for the ankles to be bare. I think it would be MORE disconcerting if the hair ran full-thickness all the way onto the foot. Hobbit, anyone?

- Dave
(who will forgo Rogained ankles, kthnxbye)
Old 10-13-2001, 01:33 PM
dunne u. wurrie dunne u. wurrie is offline
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 149
Well, if you're like some of us, by the time you reach your forties, most of the hair on your legs will stop growing altogether, so the contrast won't be as great.

So you've got that to look forward to.

But on the plus side, the copious hair which now grows out of my ears makes for a really impressive comb-over to cover the newly bald head! Don't I feel lucky!
Old 10-13-2001, 01:53 PM
glowbug glowbug is offline
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 20
How freaking arbitrary. One word; anklets. I don't know if they come in any other colors besides white but maybe if you searched long and hard you could find some. Then, have your pants hemmed so they cover any trace of your inexplicably deviant fashion faux pas.
Old 10-13-2001, 02:11 PM
KneadToKnow KneadToKnow is offline
Voodoo Adult (Slight Return)
Charter Member
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Charlotte, NC, USA
Posts: 24,934
Originally posted by mipsman
wouldn't that give some credibility to the idea that male pattern baldness is because that is where your head rubs against the pillow.
Damn, mipsman ... what position do you sleep in?
Did you see that ludicrous display last night?


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:10 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to:

Send comments about this website to:

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to:

Copyright © 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

Copyright © 2017