Specifically, I think that you have imagined yourself to be offended by a lot of people in this thread who ain’t here.
“Here’s what men cannot seem to understand, [note absence of qualifiers] and that all women [note that the fact that every woman is included in this sweeping generalization and that the ‘fact’ that there are no exceptions is underscored by the word ‘all’] know from bitter experience.”
Did I imagine this appearing upthread?
Some men probably do not “understand”; many women may indeed “know” what men “really mean” when they make these comments and many women have had experiences that preceded this idea, but no. It is not all men, probably not even most. of those that do not understand, probably some could if it was explained to them, and not all women are frightened and intimidated by remarks directed toward them.
Oh. So: not all men. I see.
It seems like you have a problem with elbows using mild hyperbole, but you don’t have a problem adding your own heaping of inflammatory modifiers. Who said anyone was “frightened and intimidated by remarks,” let alone “all women?”
What did you mean when you said “any human being in that woman’s position would be made to feel vulnerable and uncomfortable being subjected to that spectrum of interactions”?
I am a human being–a human woman, even! I enjoy walking around in heavily populated areas and people’s remarks seldom detract from that enjoyment. I do not feel vulnerable or uncomfortable when men make silly comments to me. I definitely do not want anyone following me or attempting to force interaction on me, but I still do not feel vulnerable in those situations, as I know the risk of actual physical harm is very low.
When you agree with what someone says, any generalization of an entire group of people is mere “hyperbole,” whereas things you disagree with are “inflammatory.” Got it.
Can’t you just shut up and be white-knighted, already? 
Seriously … it was a close call. There was a man getting ready to smile and tip his hat toward you.
I’m not defending anyone or their dumb opinions. The idea that this video was some sort of attempt to shame black men is completely off base.
I don’t get it either. On most days, most of the topics on SDMB are, well… boring. So I look for the ones that seem interesting, or start a thread of my own. Or do something different. What I don’t do is go on other people’s threads and make angry comments about how they shouldn’t be talking about whatever they’re talking about. That would be stupid.
On “men don’t get it”: I’m happy to hear about something I don’t know about, especially if it’s important. But I don’t think that being either a man or a woman automatically makes someone’s perspectives valid or invalid.
And if you’re honestly concerned about people “not getting it”, my suggestion would be to politely explain it. Dismissing people, on the other hand, because they’ve only ever been one gender, is counter-productive.
As I said earlier, where I live people often exchange pleasantries. It’s just common curtesy. Heck, sometimes people even tell me to “smile”. (Which I admit is a bit annoying, because it implies I had an unfriendly look, without knowing it.) But claiming that any and all comments, at least from men to women, are automatically sexual harassment seems, well, insane to me.
So now it’s our fault for not explaining it to you politely???
What’s wrong with that objection? Objecting to baseless sweeping generalisations is perfectly valid. When some deranged Muslim blows up a bus or shoots three dozen holidaymakers on a beach because he thinks his kill-crazy desert superdaddy will give him a fucking pat on the head for it, people start #notallmusliming left, right, and centre, especially round here. Why can’t a man object to disparaging generalisations about all men without getting the kind of haughty, eye-rolling ‘Here we go again’ type of response that would be roundly condemned when offered in response to a similar defence of any other group?
AnaMan is a woman not a man, she is relating her real world experiences of walking while female which does not correlate with the previously expressed notion based on “bitter experience” that practically every non-solicited greeting or acknowledgement of her presence or appearance by men regardless of how seeming courteous, fleeting or deferential is actually probing her sexual receptivity.
What did you mean when you said “any human being in that woman’s position would be made to feel vulnerable and uncomfortable being subjected to that spectrum of interactions”?
Okay…but what does that have to do with what I wrote? Forgive me for being dense, but I don’t see it. AnaMen objected to elbows’ sweeping generalisation of all men and Jimmy Chitwood responded ‘Oh. I see. Not all men’. As in ‘Yeah, yeah #notallmen :rolleyes: Change the record’.
I was objecting to Jimmy’s blasé dismissal of AnaMen’s valid point.
I wasn’t contradicting you. I was correcting her gender and noting the fact that she is a *woman *expressing this opinion based on her real life experience and that makes it especially on point.
Ah, sorry. I get it now. Thanks for the correction.
I’m not sure why you thing the “exercise” is “bankrupt”. The only clue you’ve given is that it’s “only two minutes”.
I think - please correct me if I’m wrong - you’re implying that all ten hours were like the 2 minutes shown. Of course, I can’t prove it, since I don’t have access to the other 9 hours and 58 minutes, but I think it’s a safe guess, given the context of the video, (and that they’re asking for donations) that the 2 minutes represented the worst interactions they could pull, from the ten hours they filmed.
What agenda?
.
No, harassment could be either words or conduct.
Could you please point out where I said I’ve “had an experience like this one”?
And if not, why are you claiming I said something I didn’t say?
That’s right. And that’s what I said:
Do you see what’s happened here?
[ol]
[li]You lied about what I said.[/li][li]**You called me a liar. **(For saying something you imagined in your head, but I never actually said.)[/li][li]You told me what I had really experienced. [/li][li]Which was what what I’d actually said I’d experienced in the first place.[/li][/ol]
I’m not sure what to make of this. If you mean to say I’ve never been verbally abused, or physically intimidated (or, for that matter, physically assaulted), you’d be wrong. If you mean nobody’s ever said, “Hey beautiful,” or “God bless you, mami,” you’d be right.
It’s obvious to me. Because I’m the one who said it, and I know why I said it.
I have no idea what evil intention you think I have. Feel free to tell me, if you like.
Actually, you are engaging with me.
So, why are you bothering? And why are you doing it so disingenously?
What is it?
I’m having trouble parsing this paragraph. It’s obvious you’re accusing me of something, but I’m not sure quite what. Feel free to state the accusation plainly, if you like.
Uh, no… I haven’t. You, however, have demonstrated that you’re either unable or unwilling to read what I actually write.
If this is the quality of content that typical for you, I’d encourage you to stop bothering.
Why not just go on believing I’m whatever monster you’ve conjured up in your head?
Because you watched the same video we did and your response is that there was nothing for the young woman to object to in the way that she was treated
No, that’s not what I said. Here’s what I said:
I’m embarrassed to have to do this, but given the tenor of the thread, I think I must:
I condemn street harassment. I condemn insulting women. I condemn intimidating women. I condemn walking beside a woman for 5 minutes while looking pervy. I condemn making comments about strangers’ bodies on the streets, or anywhere else. I condemn relentlessly asking for a phone number, making comments like “is it because I’m ugly?” or otherwise making a stranger uncomfortable on the street. Women should have the same right and ability to walk in public as anyone else.
My OP was NOT: “It’s perfectly fine to harass women on the street.”
It was, “I was surprised what I saw was not as horrible as I expected,” (Meaning: I expected to see some really horrible shit.) Combined with, "Some of what they were calling “harassment” wasn’t even “harassment”.
Maybe it’s impossible to discuss this subject. Maybe the well’s already too poisoned. I was certainly not prepared for the shit storm after I posted.
But it’s not all bad. I have, at least, learned something.
Your reaction to the video
My view – many women (not all, but many I’ve spoken to and heard from or read) have told me that being greeted/approached by strange men on the street or in public transportation makes them uncomfortable, even if they say something innocuous like “have a nice day”. Because it costs me nothing to refrain from doing so, I have stopped doing so. I don’t say “hello” to strange women on the street (or on the train or bus) unless they say it to me, because I have no interest in even a small chance of making someone feel uncomfortable.
I still might nod and smile at women I pass by, because I’ve never heard or read from women that this makes them feel uncomfortable. But I don’t say anything to them, because it costs me nothing to not do so, and I choose not to risk even a small chance of making a woman feel uncomfortable.
At least in urban areas, I encourage other men to do the same. I understand it might be different in various rural communities (or even some cities), in which it might be considered rude not to say hello. But in the moderate-to-big cities I’ve spent significant amounts of time in (Vancouver, New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Atlanta, Jacksonville FL, Charleston, Providence RI, DC, and NY), I think it’s better for men to not approach/greet strange women on the street or in public transportation.
100% correct. Appropriate greeting manners are very contextual and situational.