[ul]
[li]If you are having a baby girl and even remotely mention how one name that she adores reminds you of That Cute Girl from High School, your wife will never ever like that name again.[/li][li]Oh, and it is your fault. You bastard![/li][li]If the kids are misbehaving, even if you are at work. It is your fault[/li][li]If the kids are misbehaving and you are at home. It is your fault[/li][li]If it is your night to watch the kids and spend quality time with them and you fall asleep on the living room floor and the kids become free-range children in the frig. It is most certainly your fault.[/li][li]If you go on a romantic vacation and she sees someone wearing the same swimsuit as her and the other woman looks better in it. It is your fault.[/li][li]If you are in debt, despite not having made a purchase other than a cup of coffee every morning for the last year. It is your fault.[/li][li]If you put a .79 burrito from 7-11 on your credit card when you are two blocks from home and starved, she will never let you forget it.[/li][li]If she buys another purse that she doesn’t need and probably will never use and it cost $150, she will hide it in her closet and pull it out pretending it was lost. Despite the credit card bill stating otherwise.[/li][li]When she wears control top panty hose, she will be crabby.[/li][/ul]
Here ya go.
catsix will generalize about women in ways that obviously don’t include her, confusing me.
Daniel
I for one can’t stand women and their never-ending power plays, thinking they run the roost and shit, for that is what I do - rule the roost like the big cock (rooster) that I am. I plan on starting the 2005 He-Man Woman Hater’s Club at the earliest opportunity.
But I have to go now, my girlfriend has determined that I am not spending enough quality time with her and I must depart the dope.
:rolleyes:
Spoken like a true virgin.
You only need to know one, boys:
- Women are obviously the superior sex.
Sad to say, I can no longer believe this.
Not because of you, dear. You are obviously superior.
Aw, crap. Now she knows I like her.
- Men have full wallets
:rolleyes: Are we done fighting ignorance yet?
I just think that a societal double standard exists whereby it is acceptable to generalize about men, but it is not considered the same when the women are the topic up for generalizing.
To be honest, I think both are wrong.
It’s funny: As a guilty pleasure, my wife watches the occasional TV movie featuring Men Behaving Badly, especially toward their Wonderful, Brilliant Female Companion. The Lifetime Channel is especially good for such pap. Frankly, though I think the shows are total steaming crap (poorly written, poorly acted, rotten production values, horrendous background music), I don’t find the plots altogether implausible. In fact, a number of them are based on true stories. One particularly egregious example featured John Ritter acting the part of a physician who poisoned two of his wives (the protagonist was an ex) with selenium, giving them inexplicable chronic symptoms that ultimately led to their deaths. I lasted about 10 minutes before I had to flee the room to go play with power tools (in this instance, I’m serious: I was charged with the task of building some shelves). I poked my head in about five minutes before the end, to see Dr. Ritter calling his ex-wife from prison, making empty threats about an appeal. The epilogue informs us the poor woman died soon after of cancer caused by the poisoning. These tales of feminine woe at the hands of Bad Men lead inevitably to the following sort of conversation:
“That bastard.”
“Yeah, sounds like he was a first-class S.O.B.”
“What a bastard!”
“Mmmm.”
“How could he do that to his wife??”
“I dunno. Guess he was deranged or something; a sociopath of some sort.”
“That poor woman. That’s just awful.”
“Yep.”
I feel the eyes on me.
“Men are just dogs.”
“Yep.”
“You would never do that, would you?”
“What??”
“Look, if we’re having relationship troubles, I want to know about it before you go and do something clandestine.”
“What in the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m just saying.”
“O.K. Honey, I promise not to poison you to death if you piss me off.”
“You mean you promise not to poison me at all.”
“Well…”
“You men are dogs.”
“You don’t say.”
“A while ago, I saw another one, and there was this guy, this total fucking bastard, who had something like three wives. He was a pilot, and he had a wife in every city he flew to, practically.”
“Wow.”
“Can you believe that?”
“Words fail me.”
“Awful. Awful, awful, awful.”
“Speaking of awful, what sadist was responsible for that craptastic John Ritter vehicle, anyway?”
“Don’t make fun of my show. I don’t want to think, I want to relax.”
“And get paranoid about homicidal maniac husbands.”
“Right.”
“And that’s entertaining, I take it.”
“Go build your shelves.”
“Your shelves, you mean.”
“Go off! I discard you! Let me enjoy my private!”
“Mmm. When I’m done, I want my red meat rare and bloody. Got it?”
“Get out.”
“Man need meat…go to basement…build wall…::grunt, belch, grunt::”
Tries to figure out if it’s offensive or funny, then decides to try anyway
Women are an enigma, because they possess nature’s rubix cube.
For the reading impaired, the OP to which you link bemoans ignorant and offensive stereotypes–as exhibited by much of this thread–against both genders.
And I for one agree with her.
All that “kernel of truth” shit is just one of the excuses people use to screw someone over based on prejudice.
My comment about reading impaired is about some of the people in featherlou’s thread who seem to ignore the universality of her complaint.
Sorry for posting twice in a row.
Read the full thread. I wrote the kernel of truth statement and it was a misstatement. It’s been revised (as well as it can be) to ‘perceived’ kernel of truth.
Gee.
I saw it as simply low brow humor.
/throws bucket of water on impending flame war 
This is a bad thing?
That’s swell.
Well, it does sort of ruin my plans to be suave and all.