Yes, I “said” it… we’re screwed. When it comes to screwing, we’re screwed, among other things. Men and women are wired so differently, I often wonder if the Gods (or God, depending on your outlook) aren’t laughing their heads off about it! A divine joke, the human condition, hardy har har… sex, love, relationships… WTF! I need a Male to Female dictionary and you guys need the opposite :dubious:. You know what I mean… or… do you? Why? Why are we so different? Why does it have to be this way? Who wrote the damn software and why did they do so!?! BAH! I’m tired of it… (occasionally, anyway).
Thoughts? Suggestions? More ranting? Speaketh now or forever hold thy peace.
(Side note to aforementioned thread: Usually, I’m ok with most of the differences but DAMN! Come on, sometimes it’s like speaking Greek to a deaf dog!)
Most of the time I think the differences aren’t as great as some people imagine. However, I’m a woman who is frequently mistaken for a man in written correspondence, so YMMV.
I agree completely (but I’m another girl who’s often mistaken for a guy on line…and I’ve always been sort of a tomboy in general). I think the gender gap is commonly an excuse we envoke when there are problems in a relationship (or lack of one) and we either a). don’t know what the real problem is, or b). don’t want to deal with it.
I think what it boils down to is that people are vastly different from one to the next–it has nothing to do with being unable to understand the opposite sex; we just can’t get into one another’s heads as much as we’d like in general, regardless of gender. What might sometimes make it seem as if this discrepancy is more severe than it is from man to woman is that (if you’re heterosexual), you’re either in relationships with, or trying to establish them with the opposite sex–this is the most sensitive and intimate kind of relationship, so differences are called even more into play than they would with just your friends or relatives. You’re trying to share every aspect of your life with this person, trying to mesh on everything from sexuality to families to housework, and, unless your bisexual, you never have to look at the same sex in all those different venues.
ITA, Orange Skinner. We understand how each other think well enough to manipulate when we want something, but when we’re confronted, suddenly we have to drag the 3 billion living souls with the same chromosome arrangement as our partner/adversary into it. Largely as an excuse to shrug, bitch, and maintain the status quo rather than put up the guts and effort to change things.
So gay Dopers, any thoughts? Do y’all think communication between same-sex lovers is any easier or more straight-forward?
Well, first you gotta get use to the greek dog talk thing; it doesn’t get any better, you just get older and more accepting of the way things are.
Second, that stuff about getting mistaken for a male in written correpsondence or posts; well that’s just men telling you what they think you want to hear.
Men and women can hear a word and it will conjure up completely different things to them. This is what I’m talking about. And no… I did not have a fight with my spouse. I’m not married but I’ve been with my current boyfriend for almost three years.
Now, understand there are exceptions to this “rule” but I really believe we are generally wired differently, which as I mentioned before doesn’t usually bother me. Take the concept of cheating, for example. Men generally are more accepting of various behaviors that can be construed as cheating by women.
I’m throwing out concepts here. My own ideas of cheating are more open-minded than others (i.e, porn doesn’t mean cheating to me when that’s all a guy can get due to distance or if the woman enjoys it too). Romance is another.
Men are simple, so they say (I have a few male pals who don’t mind me questioning them on this topic). They think about sex a lot, they say what they feel (even to the detriment of the relationship, at times), and they try not to be too dense if they can help it. This is the basic creedo they live by. Not all men but my male friends have told me this. Do you as a male agree?
I’m not a feminist or a lesbian (my poor, poor boyfriend, lol!), and I’m not judging anyone for their opinions.
No, I don’t. I hear every Joe in Palookaville kid about it, but I’ve never had encountered this disconnect (or whatever) in any relationship I’ve had. Particularly in the one I’m in now. Communicate! It’s not that hard to understand!
I do communicate. My OP is valid. I’m not saying the two sexes never understand each other, sometimes it just doesn’t click. It could be a joke, an expression, a look… things don’t always match up between. I enjoy the differences, if I didn’t… I’d play for the other team but I love men. Even with the different thought processes, it’s a glorious thing, love.
Well let’s put the guts to sleep and get right to the women and children of the matter… or something like that. Women just tend to be more subtle and not action-oriented. When a woman tells somebody about a bad day, it’s just to tell about the bad day. But men tend to hear things like that and ask “So where’s the problem to be solved? No problem to be solved? So what are you jabberin at me for, woman? Begone!”
I agree completely with the OP… I am dead tired of this miscommunication. My girlfriend operates in a totally different thought frequency… simple things/arrangements like “Meet me at my Dads house.” Become messed up in no time… I think she is coming with a car or getting a ride… she thinks I will pick her up. In the end we lose 2 hours driving back and forth and barely get in time to watch our movie.
Not blaming women for being "not- male" rational... but its tiresome this "wiring" difference. I can get 10 male friends to meet at the same place with more or less little delay. One woman ? Nope.
Arranging a night out with several of my friends takes 2-3 calls. With girls ? Oh christ.
Yes, I “said” it… we’re screwed. When it comes to screwing, we’re screwed, among other things. Men and women are wired so differently, I often wonder if the Gods (or God, depending on your outlook) aren’t laughing their heads off about it! A divine joke, the human condition, hardy har har… sex, love, relationships… WTF! I need a Male to Female dictionary and you guys need the opposite :dubious:. You know what I mean… or… do you? Why? Why are we so different? Why does it have to be this way? Who wrote the damn software and why did they do so!?! BAH! I’m tired of it… (occasionally, anyway).
