I beg to differ… Colin Quinn’s appearance on “Celebrity Poker Showdown” was the only time he’s ever been tolerable. On SNL, he was just a black hole from which no humor could escape.
Let me explain my decision - I’m thinking of the first episode on which Quinn hosted Weekend Update. While not funny per se, his speech at the beginning of his first “Update” was a bit emotional for this devout Norm MacDonald fan:
‘You know how you go to your favorite bar, and your local bartender isn’t there? You ask, “Where’s Jeff?” “Jeff no longer works here, I’m Steve.” And you’re thinking, “Hey, who’s this idiot? I like Jeff.” But you still want your drink? And even though Steve doesn’t mix your drink the same way you’re used to, like Jeff, you still like the same bar, you don’t want to have to go to a different bar. And even Steve might feel kinda bad because Jeff trained him. Jeff showed him how to work the cash register, where the tonic was on the soda gun, who tips, who doesn’t…Well…I’m Steve. What can I get you?’
So that earns him a pass in my book.
But yeah, the rest of his Weekend Update tenure su-hu-hu-hucked.
Ironically enough, Norm MacDonald has nearly equaled the Quinnster in sucktitude since his firing from SNL.
I’m trying to block his existence from my memory. The only laughter that guy has ever inspired is in the form of parodies of his movies on South Park. “Rob Schneider burk ba durk da diddle-dee-dum-ti-doo!”
Adam Sandler and Chris Farley, both obnoxious one-trick ponies - it was always a contest to see who sucked worse. Most of the time, Sandler won.
The recurring “Wish it was [holiday] today…” was pretty much the Beatles of Bad 21st century SNL performers to me: Fallon, Sanz, Kattan, Morgan). That’s when a masked man who looked amazingly like John Belushi should have dropped a chandelier onto the stage.
Sampiro. Or better, dropped from the chandlier onto the stage.
Crown Prince of Irony. So true, which is a damned shame, because Norm McDonald is only second to Tina Fey in Weekend Update Awesomeness, eclipsing both the Jane Curtin / Dan Ackroyd duo and Roseanne Rosannadana.
No one has mentioned Danitra Vance?
And while I was tempted to give Mary Gross a pass for her Alfalfa character and one killer Marilyn Monroe imitation, they don’t outweigh everything else she did.
I keep thinking he had one funny skit on SNL. You know the one, oh wait no that was Dana. Oh, oh the one where he use to, no that was Meyers.
Oh that’s right, his only skit was the annoying copier guy.
Jim
Is it a greater sin to be so useless that barely anyone remembers your tenure on the show or so amazingly irritating that legions curse your tenure on the show?
I love Horatio Sanz! He makes a great Elton John and does anyone remember when he was Billy Joel driving those girls out to the Hamptons? Or when he goes into Jeffery’s and defends his members only jacket to the snotty employees? or the Christmas song he does? I also love Tracy Morgan. Woodrow the homeless man who stole the mailbox because it had secrets about him and falls in love with Britney Spears? Brian Fellows? “THAT GOAT JUST SMILED AT ME!” Or Astronaut Jones? I don’t know I just think those two are undeserving of such criticism!
I would add Christine Ebersole, but I have no evidence to back it up. I cannot remember a single sketch she performed in. I only remember her from the beginning, dancing in a somewhat low-cut gown. I also remember that she was married to an executive at NBC.
Caveat - I stopped watching SNL after about 1993, so anyone after that is an unknown to me.
The bad:
Adam Sandler. Hated every character he did, hated almost every appearance he had in every sketch, hated his pre-SNL stand-up, have avoided every one of his movies since. The Wedding Singer and 50 First Dates may smell like pumpkin pie, but I’ll never know because I ain’t gonna watch the filthy animal.
Rob Schneider. The humor base for everything the man has ever done has centered around how annoying he is. There’s a reason for that.
Melanie Hutsell, for reasons already mentioned.
Joe Piscopo. He always struck me as a one-note performer, and that one note wasn’t very impressive.
Tim Meadows, Julia Sweeny and Ellen Cleghorn aren’t on my list. They never really stood out as exceptionally funny, but they never sucked the funny out of the sketch like Sandler or Schneider did.
Chris Farley would be on my list if it weren’t for his motivational speaker character and the Chippendale’s sketch he did with Patrick Swayze. He could be outrageously funny when he sat still, but all too often he went into his drunken howling fratboy persona. From what I read in Live From New York, that’s a close reflection of how is own life was going. Sad.
Victoria Jackson can not be on my list. In every interview of her that I’ve seen or read, she comes off so completely sweet and sincere that trashing her feels like beating up my best friend’s little sister. Won’t do it.
Halle-freaking-lujah! I’ve defended that opinion so many times that I thought I was the only person on the planet who believed it.
No list of “Worst of” is complete without Jim Brewer. That dude is a soul-sucking pit of unfunny.
I think, other than the aforementioned Chippendale’s sketch, I have to give Farley props for The Chris Farley Show. Especially when he interviewed Paul McCartney:
“Remember when you were in The Beatles?”
Of course, I didn’t notice this until after I hit “submit:”
According to her IMDB biography, Melanie Hutsell was almost fired from SNL after the 1991 season, but was brought back due to the popularity of the Jan Brady character.
How about Kevin Nealon? He always seemed like he was nervous to be on TV, and is probably the worst Weekend Update anchor after maybe Colin Quinn.
Danitra Vance, I’m giving a pass, because she was so fucking marginalized on that show: hardly was used as an ensemble player and always cast as hookers and maids. Plus she died of cancer before I could see her other work in other contexts. She’s a big “???” for me the way Finesse Mitchell is for me now.
Ah yes- the Phantom of the Futaba. He would’ve chopped them all in half, and I’d have paid to watch.
IMHO, sometimes being a “worst” cast member on SNL isn’t always the performer’s fault. For example: I’ll see your Anthony Michael Hall and raise you his partner in crime that season, Robert Downey Jr.. They did one funny bit that whole season (“Big Time Professional Golf”), otherwise absolutely useless.
Pamela Stephenson – very talented, but on SNL, she never got to show it.
Mark McKinney – Talk about a crash and burn–to go from innovative and clever to trite and unfunny that quickly should cause the “bends”. I hope it was worth the paycheck, Mark!
Regarding Tracy Morgan : for the most part he’s not that funny, but I confess that “Brian Fellows” gave me the first good laugh I’d gotten from SNL in years.
And at the risk of angering fans of his, let me state for the record that, unless he’s playing off Cheri Oteri , Will Ferrell now and forever bites major hose!
I also agree with the previous opinions of Jim Breuer .
With his Samuri Sword?