11 Reasons I'm Not Cool. Jump in and join the fun!

In My Humble Opinion
102

Ratty’s suspicions are correct; some of you are far less un-cool than you let on. Shame on you for pretending you are truly un-cool. Because I am so un-cool I took the time to mention items which clearly indicate that you are in fact cool.

103

Hehehehe… I didn’t make cainxinth’s “false un-cool list.” I believe nothing can beat my ewok costume.

104

Oh, yeah? Well, I actually spent an entire summer earning a living by competing in lip-sync contests. I performed as Cyndi Lauper (I knew who she was, too), Madonna, Tina Turner, Adam Ant, Boy George, Patty Smyth, Commander Cody, C.W. McCall and Billy Joel. That was almost 20 years ago and I still have all my costumes and will recreate my performances upon request for anyone.

Beat THAT for uncool.

105

  1. I’m 19 and I graduated from high school when I was 18. I haven’t got a job, a car, a college degree. I basically live off my girlfriend.

  2. I was much more intelligent when I was a kid, than I am now.

  3. I haven’t had a shower for three days and have been living in my “ducky pants” [bright yellow pj bottoms covered in cute little Japanese-style ducks], totally uncool tie-dyed top with what I like to call my “Wolverine Hair”.

  4. Pretty much survives on junk food and coffee. Amazingly isn’t the size of a house.

  5. Smokes, drinks and doesn’t intend to quit any time soon.

  6. Watches movies on DVD with foreign-language voice overs on them. Preferably French.

  7. Had to ask my friend for things I do that make me uncool.

  8. Gets jealous too damn easily.

  9. Doesn’t like swearing and believes that anyone who swears excessively isn’t very educated. Ditto for people with no manners.

  10. Is absolutely obsessed with words - would love to be an editor for a living and correct words all day.

  11. I nearly creamed my pants when I went thrift store shopping and found a book written in 1961, entitled “Living With Women, and How to Surivive It”. It’s so unbelievably sexist that I can’t stop reading the damn thing.

106

Hmmmmm…with so many people posting here, does that make everyone cool or un-cool?

One wonders.

Nevertheless, and at the risk of repeating because I haven’t read and collated all the previous entries, I’m un-cool because:

  1. I actually wrote that previous sentence.

  2. You can have my Nebraska Husker fan stuff when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

  3. Hi, Opal!!

  4. Neil Diamond is the BEST!!!

  5. Except for Deuter

  6. And Enya

  7. I write poetry and love doing raku.

  8. Gotta be uncool…I’ve worn glasses since the 2nd grade.

  9. I come back to SDMB after weeks away and expect a warm welcome.

  10. Oh, yeah, I’ve got every Final Fantasy and Dragon Warrior game made.

107

And you would be absolutely correct! :slight_smile:

108

OK- I can come back in and win this “uncool” contest, I think.

The ONLY celebrity I have ever met was Joan Baez at “Hands
Across America”.
Heh.
Beat that!
:smiley:

109

Um… can anyone decode this into English? Do I want to know what it means?

110

Excellent thread. But way too easy.

  1. I’m old (41) so I’m more or less automatically very non-cool.

  2. Don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs. Utterly not interested.

  3. Don’t even do caffeine!

  4. Clothing: I wouldn’t know a fashion or a trend if it stood up in my soup and bit me.

  5. I was very keen on popular music until the day it died, which for me was Sept 5th 1987. This was the day (here in the UK) when ‘Pump Up The Volume’ charted at Number 1, ushering in the era of so-called ‘dance’ music consisting solely of rap and sampling. I listened dumbfounded - people thought this crap was a song? Worth recording? Worth listening to? And my narrow-mindedness has stayed with me ever since.

  6. I mainly read non-fiction books about stuff like recreational mathematics, a subject in which I have only basic qualifications.

  7. I’ve never followed a TV soap or serial, or any Star Trek series, and never will. I dunno about elsewhere, but here in telly-obsessed England not following at least one of the major soaps is essentially social suicide.

  8. I’ve never had one iota of interest in any sport. Not even soccer (English football) which, given that I’m male and English, makes me even more of a social leper.

  9. I think bears (of the kind that most people refer to as ‘Teddy bears’) are more or less essential for mature, emotionally well-balanced adult life.

  10. I’ve never lied to a significant other or ‘played away from home’ or even wanted to. I may as well give up trying to be ‘male’ altogether, I guess.

  11. I was born and raised in the north-west of England, Lancashire. The only part of Lancashire that’s ever been cool is Liverpool, where the Beatles came from. The rest of it is, and trust me on this, about as un-cool as it’s possible to be, in every conceivable way. If someone who likes being cool dies and goes to hell, they wake up in Lancashire.

111

I have reason to belive that some of you are mistaken over what is cool and uncool. I have made short commentary on the most glaring anomalies.

Hamadryad/11 Of course it’s a point of pride. Did no one ever tell you that it’s fantastically cool to have been internetting and bbsing for a long time? You do still get the memos of cool?

ratty/6 Linguistics and grammar are ineffably cool. And what could be more cool than learning a language for fun?

Octavia Smythe- Bunion I. Esq/10 Atlases are cool. I got the photographic atlas of England for Christmas, and it’s one of the coolest things I own. I read maps in bed. I ROCK!

Katisha is thunderingly cool. Except for the G&S - and that’s so naff it’s cool. Sports and Shakespeare is a kickass cool combo.

Muck Muck/20. Slippers are for wearing around the house. Good slippers are a wonderful thing, and therefore cool. Now, if they’re stupid slippers, you may not actually be cool.

Palve/4, 3 and 2 Those are cool things. Honestly, I worry about your judgement if you think QM and linguistics are uncool. Really.

Nenya_Elizabeth/1 Maths is cool. If I were Empress, I’d have a Court Mathematician.

Nenya_Elizabeth/4 Talking about books is cool.

Nenya_Elizabeth/14 Encyclopaedias are fun and cool. Knowledge is cool. Desire for knowledge is cool.

Squish/9. froths at mouth rubs thighs lasciviously How could you not?

auntie em/5 Fantastic! Making up daft songs is cool and fab and brill. All the better when they’re about shitting dogs. Oh, and having a TV and eating sleepover party with your mum is cool.

Pushkin/8. It is cool to talk to cats. Really, this is one of the basics of cool.

Delphica/10, 11 There can be no cool without these moments of harmony and beauty.

JessEnigma/8,9 Good slippers are cool. And spiffy!

Broken Doll/10. Being an editor is fantastically cool. If you want to be one someday, you will. And being obsessed with words is cool, anyway. Rock on.

ianzin/11 Since when has 41 been old?

ianzin/6 Recreational mathematics is the epitome of cool

ianzin/3 Teddy bears are indeed uncool. Cuddly toy penguins are where it’s at.

ianzin/1 Lancashire is great! Mebbe not cool as such, but great.

I’m very cool. I like what I like because I like it, even if some of it is/has been/will be considered “cool” by some style guru or other. I am my own style guru. So there.

Enthusiasms are cool. Being joyful about your interests is cool.

112

I’m pretty sure silkythreat was referring back to #4 on her list, which states that she goes to Rocky Horror Picture Show in full costume…at the age of 41.

[sub]If silky’s not a woman, I apologize for the pronoun mixups.[/sub]

113

C.W. McCall…C.W. McCall!!! OMG, I would have definitely paid to see that!!!

“Big Ben, this here’s a Rubber Duck, we just ain’t a-gonna pay no toll…”

The uncoolness of it just automatically makes it cool, ya know??

114

“…so we crashed the gate doin’ ninety-eight and just let them truckers roll, ten-four.”

(I even have the big mirrored aviator shades…)

115

You definitely have me beat, lifeonwry, but I was a carnie.

That’s right, a carnie. Not at Six Flags or anything upscale like that either. No sirreebob. I was a carnie at a tiny smalltown amusement park that actually traveled as a fair. I can still reel in a crowd for almost anything, and trust me, it comes in handy as a teacher.

Ah, the lack of coolness washes over me like a salty breeze.

116

Wow, I do SO many of the things on these lists. Tevya, you’re practically my twin.

  1. I too love Journey and have several songs of theirs on my iPod. “Don’t Stop Believing” is one of my favorite songs of all time.

  2. I am a Mac zealot and will defend my choice of computer to the death. I use iMac ads as wall decorations.

  3. I have often worn dirty underwear, though I check to see there’s no track marks before putting it on.

  4. I’ve recently taken up flossing daily.

  5. I love love LOVE Iron Chef. I will often play the theme on my iPod to make me feel… magnificent.

  6. I still haven’t gotten over my ex, and we broke up in May 2001.

  7. My best friend and I often discuss our plans for a massive retirement compound, which will contain, among other things, a WWII-style war room and a team of scientists devoted to creating flying cars and functional lightsabers.

  8. I also get giddy as a schoolgirl on election nights. Nov. and December 2000 was practically one long wet dream for me.

  9. Even though my profession requires “tight writing” I speak in flowery prose. Yesterday, instead of saying “you got a new haircut” to a co-worker, I said, “you have significantly less hair than the last time I saw you.”

  10. I have a picture of Adam West Batman on my wall.

  11. I have a picture of the Bill of Rights on my wall.

  12. I have three Beanie Babies: Lefty the Donkey, Righty the Elephant (both 2000 edition) and Nanook the Siberian Husky (my favorite breed of dog). I used to have a larger collection though, comprised of “freaks of the animal kingdom”: hedgehog, bat, platypus, etc.

  13. I find myself crying at a lot of movies lately.

  14. I still relish eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, macaroni and cheese and ramen noodles.

  15. I freak like a little girl when I encounter mice or centipedes.

  16. I read encyclopedias for fun when I was a kid.

  17. I insist on using the British spelling of “theatre.”

  18. I’m posting this at 3 a.m., and I might post again when I think of more things. And believe me, there are more things.

117
  1. I’ve been mostly bald since i was 20.
  2. I didnt have sex until after I was bald.
  3. People I know are shocked when I say, “who the hell is Nickleback(or insert current band here)??”
  4. I’m a midwest cracker
  5. I’ve lived in the south and hate the south
  6. When I’m at work, I read the SDMB and surf. When I’m home, I read the SDMB and surf.
  7. I’m a HUGE WWE geek
  8. I’m like a week late to this list
  9. I’m afraid of Great Debates even though I’m very opinionated
  10. I think Rush, U2 and the Doors are all VERY over rated
  11. I made fun of smokers until I started smoking
  12. I dont like stopping once I start
  13. I made fun of (and still do) goatee’s and I HAVE one
  14. My goatee sucks
  15. I have had a CD MP3 player in my car for 2 years and I only listen to talk radio
  16. 87.5% of my sexual partners I met online
  17. I know dozens of people that watch NASCAR and I do to AND I make jokes about Dale Sr every chance I get
  18. I drive a Golf and make fun of “ricers”
  19. My list is long and doesnt include any “hi opals” in it
  20. I didnt even read most of this thread
    dead0man
118
  1. I work in a public library.
  2. A co-worker and I amuse ourselves by reciting Tori Amos lyrics back and forth while putting up books.
  3. I actually found a copy of Aqua’s cd “Aquarium” in my closet two days ago, and am currently listening to Barbie Girl.
  4. I have an unhealthy obsession with the Goddess who is Kathleen Hanna, and love all forms of sloppy girl punk.
  5. I love eating at the Waffle House at all hours of the night. It’s just so…something.
  6. My friends frequently make loud, moaning sex noises at stoplights.
  7. It’s three in the morning, and I’m too discombobulated to add anything else to the post.
119

Upon re-reading this, I think I’ve got some amendments to make:

  1. I took four years of Latin in high school, not for a requirement or anything.

  2. I didn’t mention that before, because I thought it was really cool.

  3. I got a copy of the song from the El Club Silencio scene in Mulholland Drive the other day, and it’s all I’ve been listening to since then.

  4. ALL my friends are Dopers. :eek:

120

  1. I have only ever been to one concert, and the only one I ever went to was Melissa Etheridge, who I had barely heard of, and only attended because I was given a free ticket in a pub and I was bored.

  2. I have never owned a CD player. My ‘sound system’ is the record player with a single tape deck that I got for my twelth birthday, 14 years ago.

  3. I own and sometimes wear white socks.

  4. I am a lesbian, but I can’t stand Barbara Streisand, and I will never be a Friend of Dorothy. More like a slightly hostile acquaintance who attends the same parties but phases out after the ‘hi, how are you,’ and looks for more interesting people to talk to.

  5. I would like to knit but can’t. I am a wannabe uncool knitter.

  6. I will happily go down the slide and on the swings in the park, as long as I have my daughter with me.

  7. I think some of the clothes at Marks and Spencers look quite nice.

  8. I get enraged about spelling mistakes and punctuation errors in official documents.

  9. I can only think of eight reasons, but I’m adding this one anyway.

121

Oh - one more - I use words like ‘heretofore’ and ‘henceforth’, and ALWAYS use proper grammar and spelling, even on the internet, and even when I’m drunk.