11 Reasons I'm Not Cool. Jump in and join the fun!

In My Humble Opinion
81
  1. I don’t have cable, nor do I follow any particular shows on the networks lately.
    1a. Without ever meaning to, I usually end up watching PBS.
  2. I’m single, and I have cats.
    2a. I’m disgustingly gaga over my cats.
  3. I save money in a piggy bank. (only it’s a monkey)
  4. I like to grocery shop, but I hate to shopping for clothes, and therefore own nothing (except work clothes) newer than 1999.
  5. My idea of a fun weekend outing is hiking at the local park, or going to the art museum. But grocery shopping a Meijer is right up there (did you know they make chocolate covered potato chips? me neither.)
  6. I hate bars, sportsbars, and consider any restaurant with “novelty” wall decorations deeply suspect.
  7. I love those souvenir penny squisher machines, and use them whenever I see one.
  8. I also collect teapot (hi Ra-Chaar)
  9. I don’t like beer. Blegh.
  10. I memorize poetry I like for fun.
82

It hangs deep in his robes,
a delicate clapper at the center of a bell.
It moves when he moves,
a ghostly fish in a halo of silver seaweed,
the hair swaying in the dark and the heat–
and at night, while his eyes sleep, it stands up
in praise of God.

:smiley:

83

[Don’t Say a Word]

I’ll never tell…

[/Don’t Say a Word]

:smiley:

84

Some of these lists have cool stuff in certain arenas like Star Wars fanaticism and Trekkie circles. You must find what makes you preminiently UNCOOL in all eyes

  1. I own a velvet Elvis painting and it holds a special place on my office wall

  2. I remember EVERY cartoon I have watched (even the wretched ones) and can tell you such lame trivia as what was the knock-off of Scooby Doo on CBS in the late sixties (Goober and the Ghostbusters)

  3. In the same vien - I have had continuing masterbatory fantasies of the original cartoon cast of Josie and the Pussycats for the past 16 years.

  4. I have DETESTED every new car since 1972 and only drive one because I am forced to do so

  5. I get all choked up everytime I watch Opie accidently shot the bird (no not that kind of “shoot the bird” you oobercool person you)

  6. I look on with relish at the oncoming San Diego Comic Convention more than Christmas.

  7. I consider Don Knott’s to be the greatest addition to comedy…ever. I never call him “Barney Fife” either…only “The Fife”

86

  1. I do not care if I am cool or not and I am not.

  2. My mother lives with me.

  3. I love to go to movies alone. I am a loner.

  4. I have hundreds of interesting stories that nobody is interested in.

  5. I am always awake before 6:00 am.

  6. I like to listen to sports on the radio.

  7. I can’t park worth a flip.

  8. I hate talking on the phone.

  9. I watch Larry King Live when possible.

  10. I enjoy walking my dogs.

  11. I cried when I watched The Lion King.

87

  1. I’m a slob.

  2. I’m comfortable with being a slob.

  3. I don’t particularly want an SO.

  4. I drink far too much.

  5. I’m 41, and yet spend a lot of time on message boards and playing computer games.

  6. I don’t exercise enough.

  7. I am, to a large extent, a pacifist. I’m not certain why that’s uncool, but a lot of people seem to think it is.

  8. Though I am a pacifist, I can’t say for certain that I would remain pacific no matter the situation. Fortunately, extreme situations are pretty few and far between.

  9. Though I try to be openminded, I tend at times to believe what I want to believe without sufficient eveidence to make the decision I’ve made.

  10. I don’t get it. Often.

  11. I dislike holidays in general.

  12. I require medication to get through the day.

  13. I wonder now how many things have been listed in this thread in which the lister proclaims them as proof of uncool whilst secretly harboring the belief that they are indeed cool.

  14. I use words like “whilst” and “whom”, not only here, but in my daily conversations.

  15. I don’t follow rules to the letter, and hence have gone beyond eleven entries.

  16. I get paid well and do not do work that deserves it.

  17. Most damning of all - I have no idea what I want.

88

I always counted myself lucky I wasn’t hunted down and eaten (well, actually, it’s fairly common round here - but it’s not particularly cool, though not really uncool either)

89

  1. I’m posting this at 10 p.m. on a Friday night.

  2. I’m buzzed from two beers.

  3. I regularly go to bed at 10:30 on weeknights.

  4. I watched all of Babylon 5 on video. When I finished, I started again from the beginning.

  5. I take children’s chewable vitamins.

  6. I bring my lunch to work everyday. This is not cool in NYC.

  7. I like the newest Celine Dion song. (This is so uncool, it even makes me cringe).

  8. I’m ridiculously organized about certain things. Ok, about everything. When I finish a roll of film, I bring it to one-hour photo the next day. Within an hour of getting it developed, I’ve written notes (including dates) on the back of the photos and put them in an album.

  9. I keep a log of my workouts.

  10. I love going to the zoo, the aquarium, the botanic gardens.

  11. A substantial subset of my friends are Dopers. I’m dating a Doper. I think this makes me cool. Heh.

90

auntie em I live in Wichita, which is almost a tie with Topeka for uncoolness. We’re slightly larger and probably have better nightclubs and what not. But you guys are closer to Lawrence, Manhatten, Kansas City, and you have Casinos! The stripper works in Derby (the armpit of Wichita to our South) at a place known as Michelle’s Beach House. Oooo, so exotic. :wink: Look me up if you’re ever in town (email is in my profile) and I’ll take ya there and introduce ya.

Yup, MachV, you could say I did a lot of catching up. I was raised a staunch conservative and just sorta exploded after I found out about how much fun girls are. Being a guy and boasting about it is cool, but my sudden hypocritical reversal into the throbbing legs of promiscuity still seems uncool in my eyes. hehe

A few more I thought of;

  1. I’ve never lived anyplace other then Wichita
  2. I sell Diablo 2 item auctions on Ebay!
  3. I have memorized every episode of Greg the Bunny
  4. I don’t get Rattle and Hum
  5. I cried like a baby when my basset hound died this year
  6. I was a telemarketer for 3 whole months (still repenting for that one)
  7. I vote Republican! :eek:
91

No reasons. I’m just too cool! B) :wink:

92

Damn. Someone’s on to us.

I thought of another couple uncool things about me: I cry whenever I see anything remotely sentimental. I mean, like McDonald’s commercials (especially the one with the boy talking about his sister and him growing up and then he looks over one day and she’s the homecoming queen and she sort of salutes him with her french fries and (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! snif!) Or watching reruns of Webster, Diff’rent Strokes, and Smart Guy - pretty much anything that involves kid/concerned loving parent interaction. Also, when I read ANYTHING, up to and including Readers’ Digest anecdotes, I figure out who I would choose to play each and every role in the movie version.

93

I take naps every day at work (last week the security guard woke me up when I was dozing on the couch in the women’s restroom. She thought I was a homeless person. Once a blind woman sat on me.)

I wear the same hairstyle - long hair with bangs - that I wore in the fourth grade.

I have a pair of saddle shoes I wear with khaki pants, though I think this gives me kind of a reverse cool.

Love watching my kids play soccer… LOVE it.

Exercise every day, but eat all kinds of junk food. I also love Target.

I don’t recognize any current band names. Can’t find a radio station I can listen to for more than twenty minutes.

Never mind. I think I’m cool anyway. I don’t care what anybody else thinks.

94
  1. I cross-stitch, crochet, sew and quilt.
  2. My saturday night usually consists of two episodes of “Trading Spaces” and Saturday Night Live.
  3. I spend way too much time in mIRC chat.
  4. I am a Food Network geek.
  5. Flarn and Spoo are my favourite words.
  6. I can run a dog team.
  7. I’ve camped out in an igloo more than one time.
  8. I have “Luscious Babe Hair” but it’s usually in a pony tail.
  9. I met my husband-to-be through the SDMB
  10. I spend more time communicating via the internet than IRL.
95

  1. I don’t go out with friends on weekend nights.

  2. I don’t use the phone, just IMs.

  3. My (aol) screen name is Pepsi Dave.

  4. I don’t own any designer clothes.

  5. I don’t own any clothes with words on it, except for some red wing shirts.

  6. I don’t like MTV.

  7. I don’t like very many popular bands.

  8. My favorite TV channels are Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network. Not so much Nickelodeon anymore, though.

  9. I have bed sheets with sheep on them.

  10. I love my sheep bed sheets.

  11. I was an ewok for Halloween in 4th grade. My family does not let me forget it, and I still can’t believe I did that… I think I’m going to go and cry now. Heheheh…

96

I was Cyndi Lauper in the fourth grade. But I was so completely uncool, I didn’t even know who she was. I had heard another girl at school describing her “Cyndi Lauper” costume and decided to steal the idea.

97

  1. My dream car is a Chevy Nova.

  2. I would sell my Intrepid in a heartbeat to get one.

  3. I dont care if my clothes match, or if they are wrinkly.

  4. I like Hank Williams and assorted old country, Queen, and Sublime

  5. I wish I knew how to play the guitar

  6. I wish I could hack computers

  7. I love thrift stores and garege sales.

  8. I would love to shave my head, but I think I would get shunned by people.

  9. I love fishing, being outdoors, exploring the woods, etc

  10. I love the small town I live in, even though no one else who lives here does.

  11. The number 11 is my least favorite number

  12. I can’t sing, but I do it often anyway

  13. Sometimes I just feel like running for no reason.

  14. I drink everything with a straw.

  15. I can’t stand violence

  16. I can take apart, clean, and put back together a computer

  17. I used to cross stitch, and would do it again if I could find all of my thread and stuff.

  18. Can’t think of anymore, just wanted me to have an even number of uncool things.

98

  1. I nearly cried when Henry Blake died on MAS*H.

  2. I love obscure French movies and all my friends think I’m weird.

  3. I have never watched a porno movie. Never.

  4. I think Willow is much hotter than Buffy and again all my friends think I’m weird.

  5. I’m nearly nineteen and I still skateboard daily.

  6. I think Ian Mackaye is the coolest person on the planet.

  7. I used to draw a crappy comic strip for the small local paper. I got three fan mails.

  8. I think all Kevin Smith movies suck except Clerks. That guy is way overrated.

  9. I like “soccer”.

  10. I don’t have a drivers licence and I don’t care.

  11. I listen to the commentary tracks on DVD’s.

99
  1. Framed Darth Vader poster in bedroom (I’m an original trilogy purist)
  2. Homebuilt computer
  3. Collection of old PC Magazine’s (the ads are so funny… only $10k for your very own CD burner!)
  4. Late bloomer, puberty wise
  5. Slashdot, every day, multiple times a day
  6. Ditto for Fark
  7. As a kid was forced to read the encyclopedia whenever I got in trouble (my parents never caught on that I liked doing it)
  8. Not exactly a ladies man (girls like me…until I trip on thin air, spill tequila on their blouse and set them ablaze with my cigarette)
  9. Have seen (and enjoyed) all the Earnest movies (…Goes to Camp was his opus)
  10. Can’t get enough of “Great Chefs of the World” on the Discovery Channel
  11. Preferred TSR Forgotten Realms series of books to Lord of the Rings (this makes me uncool to dorks and popular people alike)
  12. Every household appliance and electronic gadget than can’t be sold or repaired gets systematically disassembled and reassembled to perfect non-working order
  13. Among the privacy of my nuclear family I speak gibberish, make odd noises, and do impersonations– usually in a loud and irritating manner

Despite all this, I listen to cool music, wear cool clothes, go to cool parties, and have cool friends. But I have a lot of not-so-cool friends too; I don’t disguise my uncoolness, I embrace it. I’m a crossover geek.

100

  1. All my friends don’t think I’m cool.

  2. I think Kevin Smith sucks too.

  3. I listen to N’Sync and Backstreet Boys sometimes.

  4. I think Buffy (the show) is really really annoying. Angel too…

  5. I only get a haircut after I’ve gone through at least 3 different styles because of the growing length. (Right now, it almost looks like a mullet)

  6. I think Bjork is great.

  7. I often contradict myself in the same sentence.

  8. I listen to tango music because i love the sound of the accordion.

  9. I hate Zona Viva with passion. (the most fashionable part of town).

  10. I talk to myself constantly.

  11. I talk to random objects constantly. In fact, I probably talk to my computer more than any person.

  12. I don’t do any sports. None.

  13. My best friend has serious hygiene issues.

  14. Haven’t spoken to my sister for over a year. It’s not because we’re mad at each other, but simply mutual disinterest.

  15. I keep talking even after I know the person I’m talking to has stopped listening.

  16. I really really want to keep going with this list.

101

I think a lot of the things people have listed are actually very cool. Does this make me uncool? I am also secretly very concerned that revealing my uncoolness on the SDMB will cause all other posters to shun me, and place me on their “ignore” lists. So here I go:

  1. I think reptiles are very, very cool, and several of them live in my house. I regularly talk and sing to them, and I believe that they understand what I am saying.

  2. I often dress off the floor, seldom wear a bra, and I refuse to wear shoes that are not sensible.

  3. I refuse to watch television; if someone turns it on, I will leave the room. I much prefer to read.

  4. I despise most works of fiction, and will purchase and read, then re-read textbooks.

  5. I like acne. Mine has sadly vanished, but I am attracted to people with bad skin.

  6. I I also learn languages for fun. Newest study: Neo-Melanesian. I also spent several years of college and high school making up my own language. I am obsessed with linguistics, and I love to talk about the parts of speech.

  7. I sleep with stuffed animals, I live with my mom, I talk baby-talk to my SO, I wear Mr. Bubble pj’s, and I like to shop for toys. I am 24 years old.

  8. I hate social gatherings, hate talking on the phone, hate clubs and bars.

  9. I hate alcohol, pizza, coffee, and organ meats, although I happily discuss the nutrition and proper cuts of various organs meats with butchers, whom I seek out to procure various meats for my monitor lizard.

  10. I used to be a Civil War reenactor.

  11. I think Jhonen Vasquez comics are the funniest things I have ever read.