Well, you are certainly entitled to your opinion, Isabelle. But when your 13 year old son starts to notice that girls are taking on a different shape than him and that it makes a part of him take on a different shape, I’m sure he would figure it out whether or not you talk to them about it.
Chefguy for President!
I remember being pressured to show my panties and more on the bus when I was 6 years old. The boys would pay you a quarter if you did. My best friend talked me into it, and then yelled at me when I chickened out.
Our district only bussed until age 10, and by that time, there was a whole lot more than just panty-showing going on in the back of the bus, and if you didn’t want to be a part of it, you sat further to the front.
By the age of 13, I certainly did know what oral sex was. My guess is that I was about 9 or 10 when I figured that out, by reading books. My mother believed that kids should read anything that interested them, so I was reading Stephen King and JRR Tolkien and anything else that my hands happened to come across, including some of the more steamy romance novels.
Well, now, Chefguy, I wouldn’t go that far. Although I will admit to being a tad conservative in such matters, I’m by no stretch of the imagination a fundie prude.
I will say if you’re going to engage in oral sex the least a couple can do is to do so in private.
I blame the schools.
I knew what oral sex was by 13. Knowing about it and doing it are 2 different things. Knowledge=good. Knowing about something does not mean kids are going to go out and do it.
IMO, the more discussion and good information kids have about sex, the better. By 13 many girls are sexually mature and physically able to get pregnant. 13 year old boys are thinking about it nonstop anyway, so they may as well be well-informed about it.
Repressing information about sex is not the way to prevent kids from acting out sexually, or to keep them ‘innocent.’ I think keeping kids ‘innocent’ has gotten over-hyped to the point where people think we should withold basic information from kids. That is not innocence, that is ignorance.
That said, these kids were obviously acting inappropriately and the girl’s mother is an idiot. I would be very concerned if I had a child who did this, but not because they knew what oral sex was.
The head on the girl goes up and down
Up and down
Up and down
The head on the girl goes up and down
All around the town
Lord Ashtar the more I think about it the more I don’t know how to bring up the subject of oral sex with my son. I bet he already knows about it. Afterall he has 3 older brothers. I think it should come from me but I don’t know how to even start the conversation. THis is going to take some thought.
Anyone who has left Pittsburgh Airport via Route 60 can attest to this. You are given two choices when exiting the airport. One choice is Beaver, the other choice is Moon.
The head on the girl goes up and down
Up and down
Up and down
The head on the girl goes up and down
All around the town
I am sorry Isabelle. I remember reading another post of yours saying that 3 of your 5 kids hadn’t listened to you about waiting for marriage to have sex so I assumed that the 15 year old was one of those. I guess I am just confused about the ages of your kids.
SkipMagic, the expanded title is Cannibal 4H.
That’s ok In Conceivable its easy to lose track.
I have a 22yr old, 19 yr old, 17 yr old, 15 yr old and 13 yr old
Ah! I forgot the 19 year old. He must not cause any trouble. 
What’s the problem, he bought her dinner? Or at least lunch in the cafeteria.
Not only did I know about oral sex at that age…I wanted it bad. I was never able to get it until much older though.
You may not think so, Isabelle, but it is necessary. If you don’t talk to your kids about it, they will surely find out from their friends, and quite possibly they will find out in a way that you wouldn’t like very much.
Anyone who doesn’t think 13-year-olds (and younger) know about oral sex (and much, much more than that) is simply blind to the realities of the modern world. My wife is teaching seventh-graders this year, and overheard one of the female students talking to her friends. The part she overheard was something like “…because she fucked my brother!” My wife had a talk with this girl about what is and isn’t appropriate to talk about in the classroom, of course, but the point is that 13-year-olds today certainly do know about sex, in all its varieties. Whether or not you think it’s “necessary” to tell your 13-year-old about it really doesn’t matter much at all. They’re going to find out, if they haven’t already.
You may think you’re solving a problem for your child by sheltering them, but you’re not. I would actually say that you’re part of the problem you’re trying to solve, because you’re pretty much guaranteeing that your child will get faulty information from a peer, rather than accurate, complete information from you. You’re not controlling the situation, you’re ceding control to your child’s peers.
I’m not trying to question your parenting decisions, Isabelle… far from it. If you feel that sex of any kind is inappropriate for your child, then that’s your right to decide as a parent. Every parent is different, and every child is different, and limits should be set appropriately. However, choosing not to address issues that are bound to come up (if they haven’t already) is just living in denial. You were harping on reality earlier – the realty now is that many kids see oral sex as a “safer” alternative to vaginal sex, however inaccurate that is. Some kids, as others have pointed out, do not even consider oral sex “sex” in the traditional sense. I’d recommend you address it now, to avoid problems later.
And yes, I’ve put my money where my mouth is (sorry). Our eldest daughter is ten years old. We’ve talked about sex, and menstruation, and pregnancy. We’ve gotten detailed when necessary. This includes a discussion about oral sex. Was it a bit uncomfortable for all concerned? You bet your ass it was – but it was also honest and, to the best of our knowledge, accurate. I’m glad to say that my daughter is armed with the most powerful of tools – knowledge – and she is so armed before she has need of it. In that sense, I’d say our discussions on the subject have all been extremely necessary, and more will doubtless be necessary to finish the job.
And all of that said, I’m mainly in agreement with Chefguy on the issue in general. Comparing oral sex and violent crime, for example, oral sex barely even registers. I’m not saying I’m ready for my child to be having sex just yet (yeesh, the thought of it), but I’d rather she was having sex than beating the hell out of some other kid. And yet, social norms seems to be more accepting of violence in children than of natural sexual curiosity. Seems to me that those priorities are quite topsy-turvy.
Avalonian How did you discuss oral sex with your daughter?
Did you go into specific detail? technique? feelings? clinical discussion? I understand your daughter is only ten but I would like some ideas.
My 13 year old knows about sex and protection. CLEARLY. We just never ventured into the oral sex discussion.
I know it should come from me. Actually it should come from his father but since he is not in the picture my son only has me…
Just out of curiosity (I have a daughter on the way)…how do you talk to kids about sex without making it shameful?
Be upfront?
You’re missing the larger problem: the increasing lack of common sense in today’s society and its propensity toward lawsuits. In other words, that mom appears to be one of those lawsuit-happy idiots.