It's common for 13 year olds to have sex now?

So I was having a chat with my friend’s 13 year old daughter yesterday and she was telling me most of her friends are not virgins! She told me she was one of the few in her year level in high school who had not had sex. I was rather shocked, it’s one thing to hear about it on the news but another to hear it straight from the mouths of babes.

She told me one of her friends became pregnant after having sex on the school oval during lunch times. That oral sex is routine and happens during school hours.
My mind boggled and I asked where all these kids were having sex? She replied matter of factly “Mostly at the movies”.

Am I just being naive? I thought I was young when I lost my virginity at 15, the third person in my class to do so. I’m only 24 so I thought it was strange so much could have changed in the 11 years since I was her age. Is the rise in access to internet porn? She did say that on the weekend boys will text you asking for naked pictures that are passed around on phones or the web so maybe technology has a role.

I was recently reading a book on the rise of ‘raunch culture’ and wanted to know what you Doper think about this. How do you parents deal with it? It’s not so much the sex itself that bothers me but the fact there seems to be a whole generation of girls basing their worth on how sexually appealing they are.

They’re just a bunch of liars. There’s a little sexual activity in middle school but it rarely goes beyond the level of cocksucking or a hand-job, and even then it’s usually confined to the more mature kids, not something that is rampant among the whole 7th and 8th grades. The sex texting and stuff is real, I think.

Your link is a bunch of bullshit - a spam link, selling sneakers (WHY IS IT ALWAYS SNEAKERS?) So…I guess what I’m getting at, bettyinlove, is…are you hot? pix plz

Spam post reported.

I heard one the radio once that now girls of about 13 or so will hang out in malls, looking for guys they can give BJ’s to. Apparently some with older men. The “code” for finding these girls would be that they had a sucker in their mouth.

Supposedly the impetus for doing this would be so they can brag to their friends how many BJ’s they gave.

WTH is wrong with these girls?!

A statistic I picked up reading a study in relation to the Great Debates thread on abstinence education put vaginal intercourse at up to 16% in 7th graders.

I don’t know, but there was a somewhat-related article in the local free newspaper this same week, I thought of taking the article but someone else wanted the paper. It was a blurb about a recent study which hasn’t been published yet, but the preliminary data shows that teens who have sex are less likely to get higher education than those which don’t; it didn’t mention that the study was in Scotland so either that bit got cut off or the study has covered the UK. The researchers had expected a link between pregnancy and “dropping out” or stopping studying directly after high school, but there’s no need to bring pregnancy into the equation. The study followed several hundred students from different backgrounds for six years; while not every student who went on to college, a technical degree or university was a virgin at 18, pretty much every student who’d decided not to go had had sex.

The blurb said the whole mindset of those students changes, their focus moves from “school” to “dating”.

I would say yes it has always been that way, but not everywhere, but in common certain areas. People tend to group together with like people, forming mini societies with their own culture with the strengths and weaknesses of that culture.

Kids make up shit all the time. I don’t buy that the majority of 13 year olds are having sex. The OP’s friends daughter, if telling the truth, must hang with an earlier-than-usual sexually active crowd. The thing Shakes said sounds like an urban legend, like ‘‘rainbow parties.’’
Boytyperanma**'s statistic seems to support the opinion I pulled out of my ass. 16% is a relatively small proportion.

Is that what you told the cops?

"No, *she *propositioned me! Did you see the lollypop!?

I go for a combination of kanicbird’s and olivesmarch4th’s posts – there are always population cohorts of more-precocious youths, and sexual activity in the broad sense may be up, but as far as any studies one can look up it is not (yet) a majority of the overall population of adolescents who go “all the way” before making it to high school. w/o the more specific demographics of the girl and her peeps it’s not easy to adjudicate how likely is the story to be plausible. *** And*** a 13-year-old is just the right age for pulling a Margaret-Mead-in-Samoa stunt on someone just to see if you’ll later call mom and dad all worried at what you learned, thus aiding in their torment…

The real question here is, “Where the hell were these girls when I was in school?!?!”

One of my favorite stories to tell is when I was 13 and my class was randomly selected for one of those teenage sex studies.

The teacher left the room and the tester handed out the surveys. Then the tester left the room for 15-20 minutes. You can imagine how the surveys got answered after the tester left. My friends and I decided to write about a sex game we were competing in to see who had impregnated the most girls. If I remember right, my friend Andy “won” with ten sex partners and seven girls impregnated.

I, on the other hand, wanted to keep it partially believable so I wrote about my three sex partners and that I always used a condom.

And of course, not a word of it was true. That’s what I don’t trust any teenage sex studies anymore.

We were given one of those surveys at that age, too, except ours was about drugs, and we were just as serious about answering the questions as you were.

Put me in the “kids lie” camp.

From what I’ve read it seems like actual sexual intercourse has remained steady, but other types of sex, such as oral sex or homosexual activity has actually grown and starts earlier. Because, as you know that doesn’t count.

When I was a young man in the 70s, every boy had sex by age 13. But not one girl in the entire school had sex yet. I guess all the boys were getting it from some cheap floozy who dropped out of school and just hung around huh?


Here’s some interesing stats from the Kinsey Institute

The lollypop in the mouth is used as a signal by some young prostitutes, so there may be some truth to that story. However, their impetus is not bragging to their friends about how many BJs they gave, but getting money. As to WTH is wrong with these girls? In some cases it could be a parent with a drug habit forcing them to turn tricks. However, I have also encountered too many young women that don’t consider prostitution that bad if it gets them the designer handbags and bling.

Anybody remember the episode(s?) of Different Strokes where Willis was going to have sex with Janet Jackson, but ended up chickening out? Later, Mr. Drummond had a talk with Willis and told him about a boy he knew in school who bragged a lot about all the sex he’d had, but in fact that boy had never had sex at all. Willis asked, “Well how did you know he was lying?” and Mr. Drummond answered, “Because he was me.”

When I was young, 10 in 1968, there was sex going on at age 10-11. Two of my schoolmates got pregnant at age 13 and i doubt it was their first time.

Chalk me up for a “yeah it does happen, but not nearly as often as they would have you believe”.

Stephen Leavitt theorizes that one of the reasons for the rise in popularity of oral sex is AIDS. AIDS is vastly less likely to be transmitted by oral sex than by vaginal or anal sex, and so his theory (supported, I should add, by objective evidence) is that oral sex is a rational response to the increased potential cost of vaginal and anal sex.

Makes perfect sense to me. And it does seem that the rise of oral sex as a preferred method of sexual contact coincides very well with AIDS awareness. (It would also line up nicely with the increased popularity of sex education; kids who are less likely to believe silly myths about how to avoid pregnancy might be more likely to go with a guaranteed no-baby sex method.) If oral sex was popular because it “doesn’t count” then why wasn’t it as popular 40 or 50 years ago, when teenagers would have been just as likely to come up with the “it doesn’t count” rationalization?

Perhaps more to the point, what’s wrong with teenagers having oral sex with each other? It’s smart, when you think about it - less pregnancy, less AIDS, and they get their rocks off.

Oh, it’s lollipops now? It used to be friendship bracelets.

Honestly, people will beleive anything. The one thing you can be assured of about 13-year-old sexual activity is that most of it is fantasy. 13-year-olds lie like rugs when it comes to this shit, and the only thing in a 13-year-old’s mouth that would serve as a reliable indicator they’re having oral sex is an actual dick.